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208 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

(Background: I saw this question on SE and am answering from an anonymous account because of personal details). I'm not a parent but feel the need to post because this resonated strongly with me. ...
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  • 2,289
130 votes

My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?

I'm from the UK too. Call the parents and check the message was actually sent by them, it seems rather stupid that they would volunteer that information for no reason. I have had my Facebook hacked ...
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  • 1,021
125 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
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  • 17.6k
98 votes

How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school

First, I would (as Becuzz mentioned) sit down with him and hear his side of the story. It may be that he was cheating, and in this case, if he seems properly repentant and embarrassed, you might work ...
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93 votes
Accepted

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

I like the way my mother did: I told my mother I was going to buy my first car. She listened to me, my budget, my pro's and con's and once I had picked a car I could afford and was planning to get it ...
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  • 1,058
91 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Mine is getting ready to head off to college soon too, it's a fine line to tread between spoiling and being too detached. The way I put it to my kid is that as long s/he is either gainfully employed ...
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  • 1,009
90 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

First, please let me express my sympathy with what seems to be an extremely difficult situation. What follows does not mean I am not sympathetic with your struggles. You seem to have a few ideas of ...
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  • 66.7k
74 votes
Accepted

How should a jobless father advise his son when he refuses to study because of his educated jobless dad?

First and foremost, that logic is not sound. The argument boils down to "bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?" To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car ...
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  • 13.3k
72 votes
Accepted

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

I wore a school uniform (very similar to what you describe) from ages 10 - 17. There were some benefits to it such as not having to waste time figuring out what to wear and not feeling "judged" by my ...
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  • 1,869
64 votes

How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?

Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often ...
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  • 9,318
60 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

There's a very good chance your daughter is being bullied. My experience with my then 13-year-old son was almost identical to what you describe. It took several months to find out what exactly was ...
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  • 709
55 votes

How can I convince my child to write?

First, please know that I agree 100% with @David Hedlund's answer in its entirety. I just want to address one particular point that needs to be stressed. His teacher says if this type of behavior ...
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  • 66.7k
51 votes

How to encourage children to do their homework?

...knowledge and mastery ought to be its own reward. Question: do you work (at your job) for free because it's rewarding and what you want to do? No, you work because you get a paycheck for it. (I ...
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  • 66.7k
47 votes

Why do I have negative feelings about my mother?

I don't think you hate your Mother as strongly as you think you do. We always get angry with those that are near us. It seems to be the easiest way to vent. I remember being 16 and the reason why is ...
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  • 2,079
47 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Buy him a used vehicle. Let hm earn his first "new" car. I am like you; I worked for everything I got. I started working after school at 15, and at 17 I bought my first used Volkswagen Bug for 400$ (...
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  • 66.7k
46 votes

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

Lots of reasons. Keeps kids on level ground, economically. Uniforms are generally pretty cheap and no one gets ridiculed for their choice of clothes. Keeps kids safe. Have you ever tried to herd a ...
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41 votes

How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?

I would like to supplement Paul's answer a little by abstracting a little bit. The reason gifted children may have this behavior is because the adults near them praise them for how smart they are, not ...
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  • 1,062
37 votes
Accepted

How much should you buy for your child to keep up with their peers?

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your ...
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  • 1,362
37 votes

School told my daughter Charlie Chaplin’s speech was “offensive”

I think the first step is to write to the PA asking for clarification: Was the video actually rejected as offensive? If I understand your post correctly, you only have your daughter's report on that. ...
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  • 9,318
35 votes

My son's handwriting is so poor that even he can't read it. How can I help him improve?

There are a lot of different things that might help, depending on the child, but ultimately what has to change is the child's choice to pay attention to details. I had pretty poor handwriting as a ...
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  • 57.4k
34 votes

I want to dropout of HS yet my dad is mad at my decision

You need a better plan, kid. This will be a bit of a harsh answer, but you definitely seem smart and mature enough to deserve one. First of all, don't waste a single further breath explaining your "...
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  • 581
33 votes

How much should you buy for your child to keep up with their peers?

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this ...
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  • 2,846
33 votes

My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?

Give it time; time helps a lot. It's only been a few days, and this is quite a shock, especially to your daughter who probably worried for her friend's health/life. She's experienced a profound ...
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  • 66.7k
31 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

First, I agree with the other posters who suggest that your daughter may be trying to avoid an abusive situation, and that this should be taken very seriously. In the short term, though, what should ...
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  • 477
31 votes

How can I convince my child to write?

Your child is apparently distressed by writing tasks. We don't know why just now, so I would back away from writing for now, to alleviate tensions surrounding that activity at this point, and I think ...
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  • 10.5k
30 votes

A religious teacher slapped my son twice for refuting God, what should I do?

I'm going to skip over the entire religious part of the question and answer what you should do about the much simpler part: If a teacher physically assaulted your son over a verbal debate, you should ...
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  • 8,260
30 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

Have you tried talking to her? The first question I would ask is: Would you like to change school? If she said yes, ask why. I had a similar issue with my sister-in-law, she didn't wanted to go ...
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30 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

I was furious, so I called the vice-principal and asked why a 6-year-old was shamed and that child doesn't know the concept of cheating. The VP told me that he was not shamed in front of the class but ...
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  • 563
29 votes

How should a jobless father advise his son when he refuses to study because of his educated jobless dad?

Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the ...
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