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211 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

(Background: I saw this question on SE and am answering from an anonymous account because of personal details). I'm not a parent but feel the need to post because this resonated strongly with me. ...
MCepe's user avatar
  • 2,319
130 votes

My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?

I'm from the UK too. Call the parents and check the message was actually sent by them, it seems rather stupid that they would volunteer that information for no reason. I have had my Facebook hacked ...
user23598's user avatar
  • 1,021
125 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
98 votes

How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school

First, I would (as Becuzz mentioned) sit down with him and hear his side of the story. It may be that he was cheating, and in this case, if he seems properly repentant and embarrassed, you might work ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
92 votes
Accepted

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

I like the way my mother did: I told my mother I was going to buy my first car. She listened to me, my budget, my pro's and con's and once I had picked a car I could afford and was planning to get it ...
Martijn's user avatar
  • 1,268
90 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

First, please let me express my sympathy with what seems to be an extremely difficult situation. What follows does not mean I am not sympathetic with your struggles. You seem to have a few ideas of ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
89 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Mine is getting ready to head off to college soon too, it's a fine line to tread between spoiling and being too detached. The way I put it to my kid is that as long s/he is either gainfully employed ...
TCAT117's user avatar
  • 1,009
73 votes
Accepted

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

I wore a school uniform (very similar to what you describe) from ages 10 - 17. There were some benefits to it such as not having to waste time figuring out what to wear and not feeling "judged" by my ...
cheshire's user avatar
  • 1,879
65 votes

How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?

Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.4k
61 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

There's a very good chance your daughter is being bullied. My experience with my then 13-year-old son was almost identical to what you describe. It took several months to find out what exactly was ...
Josh Korn's user avatar
  • 719
55 votes

How can I convince my child to write?

First, please know that I agree 100% with @David Hedlund's answer in its entirety. I just want to address one particular point that needs to be stressed. His teacher says if this type of behavior ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
49 votes

Why do I have negative feelings about my mother?

I don't think you hate your Mother as strongly as you think you do. We always get angry with those that are near us. It seems to be the easiest way to vent. I remember being 16 and the reason why is ...
Bugs's user avatar
  • 2,090
49 votes

How to encourage children to do their homework?

...knowledge and mastery ought to be its own reward. Question: do you work (at your job) for free because it's rewarding and what you want to do? No, you work because you get a paycheck for it. (I ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
48 votes

Teacher telling 4th grade student "I hate you"

The remark your child told you about is deeply painful and disturbing, and anger is a justified response. However, please consider that you weren't there. You cannot know with absolute certainty what ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
46 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Buy him a used vehicle. Let hm earn his first "new" car. I am like you; I worked for everything I got. I started working after school at 15, and at 17 I bought my first used Volkswagen Bug for 400$ (...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
45 votes

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

Lots of reasons. Keeps kids on level ground, economically. Uniforms are generally pretty cheap and no one gets ridiculed for their choice of clothes. Keeps kids safe. Have you ever tried to herd a ...
I wrestled a bear once.'s user avatar
42 votes

How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?

I would like to supplement Paul's answer a little by abstracting a little bit. The reason gifted children may have this behavior is because the adults near them praise them for how smart they are, not ...
Jeff.Clark's user avatar
  • 1,082
36 votes

School told my daughter Charlie Chaplin’s speech was “offensive”

I think the first step is to write to the PA asking for clarification: Was the video actually rejected as offensive? If I understand your post correctly, you only have your daughter's report on that. ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.4k
34 votes

I want to dropout of HS yet my dad is mad at my decision

You need a better plan, kid. This will be a bit of a harsh answer, but you definitely seem smart and mature enough to deserve one. First of all, don't waste a single further breath explaining your "...
DiegoF's user avatar
  • 581
34 votes

My son's handwriting is so poor that even he can't read it. How can I help him improve?

There are a lot of different things that might help, depending on the child, but ultimately what has to change is the child's choice to pay attention to details. I had pretty poor handwriting as a ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
33 votes

My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?

Give it time; time helps a lot. It's only been a few days, and this is quite a shock, especially to your daughter who probably worried for her friend's health/life. She's experienced a profound ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
31 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

First, I agree with the other posters who suggest that your daughter may be trying to avoid an abusive situation, and that this should be taken very seriously. In the short term, though, what should ...
mweiss's user avatar
  • 477
30 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

Have you tried talking to her? The first question I would ask is: Would you like to change school? If she said yes, ask why. I had a similar issue with my sister-in-law, she didn't wanted to go ...
peterpeterson's user avatar
30 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

I was furious, so I called the vice-principal and asked why a 6-year-old was shamed and that child doesn't know the concept of cheating. The VP told me that he was not shamed in front of the class but ...
Machavity's user avatar
  • 733
26 votes

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

School uniforms eliminate any questions of what is or is not appropriate. There is no subjective component to a teachers objection to being out of uniform, versus the news hype raised over t shirts ...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
25 votes

How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?

Gifted kids have problems with approaching work in a disciplined manner because they don't experience a benefit in doing so. If you give a "normal" kid a "normal" math test, their level of ...
HedgeMage's user avatar
  • 13.9k
23 votes

My daughter's friend faked having cancer - our daughter found out via Facebook and is devastated. What do we do?

Angela got message from her friend via Facebook with "Ha, Ha, I've scammed you." Who guarantees to you that the message is true and the cancer was all made up? Calm down. What do (did) you think ...
Crowley's user avatar
  • 526
21 votes

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school

Something bad is happening to her at school, something quite bad judging from the severity of her aversion. It could be severe bullying, or it could be abuse, possibly sexual. It likely has a ...
Warren Dew's user avatar
  • 2,643
21 votes

My son's handwriting is so poor that even he can't read it. How can I help him improve?

If he's writing ‘joined-up’ (cursive), has he considered switching back to printing (writing each letter separately)? Printing has a reputation for being much slower and looking ‘childish’, but in my ...
gidds's user avatar
  • 313

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