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207

Using tools is not based on age, but instead on maturity and training. My 9-year-old has his own toolkit. There is a screwdriver, hammer, saw, and a couple other things that are his. He needs to ask permission before "fixing" or building anything (largely to ensure it's not something I particularly want to keep in one piece). However, as we work together ...


178

You say that you don't want him to play it -- that's your answer, you should not buy it for him. Parents set the rules. Explaining why you aren't buying it can help him accept this decision more gracefully. It's an adult-rated game and he isn't (nearly!) old enough, you disagree with the content and lifestyle that it's portraying, you're concerned he will ...


161

I was 19 and ran off with a 27 year old woman from America. (I'm British and she is American). My mother disowned me and we didn't speak for a year. My relationship with my wife lasted 16 years and produced 3 lovely children. So I could never say 'it was a mistake'. But. I was reckless and foolish and as an adult 20 years later I can easily recognize this....


102

Seeing parents or other adults naked is entirely unconnected to abuse. See any reports on familial abuse (by far the most common type), and more anecdotally, see the lack of systemic abuse in naturist and nudist environments. I'd support Stephie's comment that naturists tend to be very proper about what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. Your culture may ...


91

I have to challenge your entire premise, which may get this post deleted, but I hope you get a chance to read this before it is deleted. In simple terms this is a case of, Majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors. Focusing on who is right and who is wrong won't solve anything because you will get opinion based answers that ultimately come down to, ...


82

At 15 months old, a rubik's cube would not be appropriate. First, it's kind of a complex puzzle. Most adults can't solve it. A 15 month old is going to see it as a brightly colored cube and nothing more. She will get entertainment value out of it by probably trying throw it or eat it (the stickers aren't good to eat and the individual block pieces are ...


77

The definition you've likely found was the definition of talking something out. "to settle something by discussion: Let's not get mad. Let's just talk it out. Please, let's talk out this matter calmly." What the article mentions is a slightly different phrasal verb usage: talking somebody out of something. "to persuade someone not to do something: Her ...


69

I would say that 15 is plenty old enough to use a screwdriver or drill or hacksaw. For reference, in my boy scout troop, nearly every boy earned a Whittling Chip (even if they had already earned in Cub Scouts, we had them earn it again) within their first year (so 12 years old or so), which gave the right to carry and use pocket knives. Generally a year or ...


67

I don't know what to do, do I let them get on with it or should I try to explain my above concerns at the risk of pushing them together? Why not do both? It's natural to be concerned. You might also be concerned if he were 17, given that what you are afraid of (her getting hurt, pregnant, or growing up too quickly, or him being with her just for one reason)...


59

This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are doing with it and where you are carrying it. Personally I think a Swiss Army Knife is appropriate for outdoorsy kids from an early age - whenever they can ...


58

In addition to the pretty good answers already provided, I'd like to point out that GTA 5 is not in any way suitable for a 10 year old. There is one specific mission that gives a very good example why this game might not even be appropriate for some younger adults: Of course, ultimately it comes down to your judgment as a parent.


50

How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? I think a lot of people are equating "discipline" to "punishment", when that isn't necessarily the case. Unfortunately your question doesn't tell us much about your values or parenting style, so I can only provide a few comments and possible directions you might go in. Summary She doesn't know ...


50

Whatever you and your spouse decide to do, please please do not ask your kids to decide who their primary guardian will be or what their living arrangements will be. I found this approach terrible when my parents did it when I was 14 or 15. I strongly feel that this is the reason why I still do not feel emotionally close to them even though they are ...


48

I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions: Children with "behavior problems" are exempt (at the discretion of their leader). If they want to have one, they are first taught the rules of using knives (it's a tool and not a weapon, never cut towards your own body, never cut ...


47

Several answers already, but I want to address a couple of your concerns. You are worried about your daughter missing opportunities (travelling, studies). I started dating my wife when she was barely 17, and I was 28. We married two years later, and had our first daughter 9 months after we married, with my wife still 19. That was 20 years ago, so I can ...


45

I would not recommend this as a toy, but for a different reason. As a brightly colored geometric shape a Rubik's cube would probably be appealing to small children, and at that age they will likely try to put it in their mouths. Many cubes can be dismantled into separate pieces, which could be small enough to be swallowed. Also, some cubes use colored ...


41

I was a foster parent for a year. I met parents who were unequivocally abusive. One thing I took from that experience is that the term "abusive" is applied way too frequently to normal parents who at worst are making honest mistakes and at best just have a different parenting style. It dilutes the impact of the word, and in my opinion dishonors truly ...


38

Honey is not recommended at all for babies under one year of age because of the risk of infant botulism. The risk isn't big, but if it happens, it can be life-threatening. Avoiding honey until the child is older is an easy way to prevent this. To protect your baby from infant botulism: Don't offer honey. Wild honey is a potential source of C. ...


38

My personal opinion is that there are no sites I would consider appropriately curated. This is something you should watch with them, discuss with them, and if needed, change channel. I don't know of any unbiased news channels, either on television, or via the internet (so your comment about not allowing TV news but allowing tablets doesn't really help you)...


36

I will address only one issue: At roughly what age levels is it appropriate for the kids to have what levels of say in their upbringing? At every age, a child should have a voice about their preferences and should be heard and dealt with respectfully (patience, kindness, consideration.) But from birth, a parent is responsible to do the best for their ...


35

The general rule of thumb for age appropriateness is half plus 7. The obligatory XKCD cartoon: 25 and 17 is slightly over. However, generally speaking women mature earlier than men. Assuming your daughter is at least average maturity for her age, and there are no other worrying signs, I wouldn't worry too much. It could also be a lot worse. You also ...


34

My approach is not much different than what I'd suggest for plain vanilla everyday families: Why not supplement the biology part with a discussion of what makes a father a father or the fundamental difference between producing and raising a child? IMHO, every child's education on sex should include these aspects. We want to raise responsible adults, not ...


32

Speaking as an atheist whose child has religious grandparents, my method has been to put religion on a par with any other choice in life and not elevate it to have any special place as more or less important than a great many other choices in life. If someone believes in God and wants you to do the same, then it's up to you to decide if you want to. It's ...


32

I just found out that my daughter wrote in her diary... How did you find that out? Did she tell you it was written in there? Did you read it when she expects it to not be read? If you allow your child to have a diary and tell her that these are her private thoughts, and then you invade her private thoughts without telling her, you are giving her the ...


31

Children should be involved in, and have input on, life changing things - but while they get an opinion that should be considered they do not get a vote; that is why they are children not adults. You are the parent(s), "man-up" and make the hard adult choices, while considering their opinion and wishes, but more importantly what is best for them. Nothing is ...


28

I don't know about the "frightening the child" aspect - personally I think frightening / shocking a child who tries to do something dangerous, like run into the road (eg by shouting loudly) is quite effective. But I think the thing that all your examples have in common is that the parent is appealing to an external authority (God, ghost, policeman) to be ...


28

Botulism spores are one of the very few things that can survive in honey, and even then, they can only do it by becoming totally inactive. In an adult, stomach acid will destroy those spores, and normal gut microbes will eliminate any that survive to reach the small intestine An infant's stomach isn't acidic enough to do the job, and their intestinal ...


28

The definition of "talking them out of it" you found is slightly off, just enough to lead to the confusion. In this case, the meaning is "convince the child that they are not angry/sad/happy at all!" What the advice means is: if your child is angry about something, your child is angry. That is the situation you have to accept. Talking your child out of it ...


28

Adding to the other good answers and elaborating a bit on the "why" from the child's perspective: Mirroring The advice is based on the concept of Mirroring in psychology. It means that a parent acknowledges the emotion of the child (verbally or non-verbally), e.g.: I can understand that you are sad. (Meaning that it is okay to feel this way) Let ...


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