258
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Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?
Your sister got herself into a situation that she felt she needed to lie about. She could have continued doing that in the hope that she never got caught out, or until some crisis point where she was ...
- 1,790
208
votes
What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?
I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word.
So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and ...
- 69.8k
160
votes
My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I'm late to the discussion here, but...
I believe firmly in making the punishment fit the crime.
If she wasn't on the phone while speeding, I don't understand what her phone has to do with it. ...
- 69.8k
148
votes
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My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I drive fast...too fast...and am working on breaking that habit now. Both parents drove fast and aggressive and therefore I picked up those traits, still I am the one driving and choosing to drive in ...
- 1,879
139
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How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
Try to go along this line:
There are rules that exist for everyone. I have to go to work. You have to go to school. I tell you about the rules because I know them; I don't just make them up to ...
- 1,892
134
votes
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What are the legal, emotional, and/or behavioral repercussions of confiscating money as a punishment?
I would be concerned that this form of punishment might end up teaching the wrong associations, because it artificially connects money to behavior which is not naturally about money.
For example, I ...
- 1,254
129
votes
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18-month-old kicked out of church nursery
Since you're talking about church, I take it religious beliefs should be on topic here.
There are two commandments that supersede (and contain) all the others. One of them is
You shall love your ...
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125
votes
How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?
You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please.
So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
- 18.2k
98
votes
How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school
First, I would (as Becuzz mentioned) sit down with him and hear his side of the story. It may be that he was cheating, and in this case, if he seems properly repentant and embarrassed, you might work ...
- 8,987
96
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My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I'm going to go a different route than many of the other answers, in that you could do what my parents did for me. It not only forced me to take responsibility for my actions, but also to cover the ...
- 1,384
90
votes
What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?
My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot)
Your daughter suffered a severe trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical ...
- 1,502
84
votes
5yrs old being bossy... Is this too much or tolerable at this age?
By tolerating the behavior, you're validating the behavior. Her age doesn't matter - it only make the problem your responsibility.
Let's call things as they are: your daughter bullied another girl to ...
- 1,892
81
votes
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How can I undo the bad behavior my 2.5 year old daughter learned from 5 year old children?
For your first question: no, and no. Don't cut off other parents, and don't micromanage things.
For your second question: yes, and yes. You can educate her; that's what her life is at this point ...
- 61.8k
79
votes
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Is it too late to read for my baby?
It is not too late at all. Please do try to limit TV, and of course you are tired after working all day. However, this is also your job. Reading, playing, walking to the park -- all of these things ...
- 17.5k
70
votes
Are my parents right to give me a severe punishment for being brought home by the police drunk? I am 16
Your parents are being lenient
I'm not sure where you live, but in the State of NJ, the penalties for underage drinking are a fine between $500-$1,000 and imprisonment for up to 6 months.
You've ...
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59
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Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?
I train dogs as a hobby. This situation reminds me of a cardinal rule of dog training - if your dog is off leash and does something you don’t like, never call him back to you and punish him. Why? He ...
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57
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How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
Seems to me this is something where the truth is a good answer.
You are responsible for her, because of her lack of experience and lack of maturity. The more she can show maturity, the less you need ...
- 61.8k
54
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as
Don’t do it when [some else with more power] ...
- 18.2k
53
votes
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How to deal with my 2-year-old daughter crying and getting angry when we don't give her what she asks for?
This is a difficult problem for parents because we hate making our children cry, but it seems to me that you use 'the naughty place' / timeout and that can be effective. I don't call it 'the naughty ...
- 17.5k
51
votes
8 year old is breaking the rules, and not understanding consequences
First: do not, under any circumstances, try to "trigger" them. That's a great way to end up in a reddit thread a decade or so down the line complaining about the child's mentally abusive ...
- 61.8k
50
votes
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Do parents get punishment too?
As parents we start by modelling behaviour for our children. Show by your good example what you as a family do and how you act and react when a wilful or unwillful mistake is made. Discipline should ...
- 17.5k
50
votes
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How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?
Your options are limited. You're an outsider and very new to actually being in the family, doesn't matter how long you dated your wife previously. You've only been recently allowed to enter the inner-...
- 13.4k
50
votes
Accepted
Should a teenager coming out of quarantine be held responsible to clean up after themself?
I think it's hard to say exactly what would've been the right approach, because we (and you, probably) don't have all of the details, particularly about how the interaction went when your partner ...
- 61.8k
47
votes
How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
I think you have a perfect opportunity to wow her.
She should be able to tell you what to do.
In the morning we need to brush our teeth. If I forget, you will tell me to brush my teeth. If you want,...
- 640
44
votes
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7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?
As someone with mild Asperger's, I think I can shed some insight onto this situation. Let's look at what happened, as well as giving some ways to prevent this type of behavior in the future.
The ...
- 705
44
votes
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What can we do about our 9-month-old putting fingers down his throat?
This weird stage is really common, and mostly developmental-- something that most babies will naturally outgrow. It's upsetting and gross, but not harmful. The baby won't actually choke or cause ...
- 7,614
43
votes
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Do I enforce a punishment/retribution promised some time ago?
There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind. Where were the parents during the visit? Do they agree with your desire to have authority over the child? Will they be there for this visit? Will ...
- 69.8k
42
votes
Accepted
Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict
I agree that this couple could probably benefit from some couples counseling. Mom is putting an unfair burden on dad and it may take some support from an outside party to help both parents understand ...
- 1,526
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