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257 votes
Accepted

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Your sister got herself into a situation that she felt she needed to lie about. She could have continued doing that in the hope that she never got caught out, or until some crisis point where she was ...
Michael MacAskill's user avatar
208 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word. So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
159 votes

My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket

I'm late to the discussion here, but... I believe firmly in making the punishment fit the crime. If she wasn't on the phone while speeding, I don't understand what her phone has to do with it. ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
148 votes
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My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket

I drive fast...too fast...and am working on breaking that habit now. Both parents drove fast and aggressive and therefore I picked up those traits, still I am the one driving and choosing to drive in ...
cheshire's user avatar
  • 1,879
139 votes

How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do

Try to go along this line: There are rules that exist for everyone. I have to go to work. You have to go to school. I tell you about the rules because I know them; I don't just make them up to ...
MakorDal's user avatar
  • 1,882
133 votes
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What are the legal, emotional, and/or behavioral repercussions of confiscating money as a punishment?

I would be concerned that this form of punishment might end up teaching the wrong associations, because it artificially connects money to behavior which is not naturally about money. For example, I ...
Toxaris's user avatar
  • 1,254
128 votes
Accepted

18-month-old kicked out of church nursery

Since you're talking about church, I take it religious beliefs should be on topic here. There are two commandments that supersede (and contain) all the others. One of them is You shall love your ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
125 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
98 votes

How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school

First, I would (as Becuzz mentioned) sit down with him and hear his side of the story. It may be that he was cheating, and in this case, if he seems properly repentant and embarrassed, you might work ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
96 votes

My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket

I'm going to go a different route than many of the other answers, in that you could do what my parents did for me. It not only forced me to take responsibility for my actions, but also to cover the ...
Anoplexian's user avatar
  • 1,374
90 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot) Your daughter suffered a severe trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical ...
zzzzBov's user avatar
  • 1,502
83 votes

5yrs old being bossy... Is this too much or tolerable at this age?

By tolerating the behavior, you're validating the behavior. Her age doesn't matter - it only make the problem your responsibility. Let's call things as they are: your daughter bullied another girl to ...
MakorDal's user avatar
  • 1,882
81 votes
Accepted

How can I undo the bad behavior my 2.5 year old daughter learned from 5 year old children?

For your first question: no, and no. Don't cut off other parents, and don't micromanage things. For your second question: yes, and yes. You can educate her; that's what her life is at this point ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
79 votes
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Is it too late to read for my baby?

It is not too late at all. Please do try to limit TV, and of course you are tired after working all day. However, this is also your job. Reading, playing, walking to the park -- all of these things ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
69 votes

Are my parents right to give me a severe punishment for being brought home by the police drunk? I am 16

Your parents are being lenient I'm not sure where you live, but in the State of NJ, the penalties for underage drinking are a fine between $500-$1,000 and imprisonment for up to 6 months. You've ...
Pyrotechnical's user avatar
59 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

I train dogs as a hobby. This situation reminds me of a cardinal rule of dog training - if your dog is off leash and does something you don’t like, never call him back to you and punish him. Why? He ...
Prince M's user avatar
  • 719
57 votes

How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do

Seems to me this is something where the truth is a good answer. You are responsible for her, because of her lack of experience and lack of maturity. The more she can show maturity, the less you need ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
54 votes

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as Don’t do it when [some else with more power] ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
53 votes
Accepted

How to deal with my 2-year-old daughter crying and getting angry when we don't give her what she asks for?

This is a difficult problem for parents because we hate making our children cry, but it seems to me that you use 'the naughty place' / timeout and that can be effective. I don't call it 'the naughty ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
50 votes
Accepted

Do parents get punishment too?

As parents we start by modelling behaviour for our children. Show by your good example what you as a family do and how you act and react when a wilful or unwillful mistake is made. Discipline should ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
50 votes
Accepted

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

Your options are limited. You're an outsider and very new to actually being in the family, doesn't matter how long you dated your wife previously. You've only been recently allowed to enter the inner-...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
50 votes

8 year old is breaking the rules, and not understanding consequences

First: do not, under any circumstances, try to "trigger" them. That's a great way to end up in a reddit thread a decade or so down the line complaining about the child's mentally abusive ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
49 votes
Accepted

Should a teenager coming out of quarantine be held responsible to clean up after themself?

I think it's hard to say exactly what would've been the right approach, because we (and you, probably) don't have all of the details, particularly about how the interaction went when your partner ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
47 votes

How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do

I think you have a perfect opportunity to wow her. She should be able to tell you what to do. In the morning we need to brush our teeth. If I forget, you will tell me to brush my teeth. If you want,...
vbp13's user avatar
  • 650
44 votes
Accepted

Do I enforce a punishment/retribution promised some time ago?

There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind. Where were the parents during the visit? Do they agree with your desire to have authority over the child? Will they be there for this visit? Will ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
44 votes
Accepted

What can we do about our 9-month-old putting fingers down his throat?

This weird stage is really common, and mostly developmental-- something that most babies will naturally outgrow. It's upsetting and gross, but not harmful. The baby won't actually choke or cause ...
Meg's user avatar
  • 7,894
42 votes
Accepted

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

I agree that this couple could probably benefit from some couples counseling. Mom is putting an unfair burden on dad and it may take some support from an outside party to help both parents understand ...
magerber's user avatar
  • 1,526
41 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Raising a child, a parent or guardian has two main jobs, beyond providing food and shelter. Protecting her from dangers she's not capable of safely managing herself Guiding her development as a ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k

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