206 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word. So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and ...
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  • 66.7k
100 votes
Accepted

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

My friend obviously did not react well when she found out about the incident. How should she make up for it to her daughter? She should apologize. You say your friend didn't react ideally, I'd say ...
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90 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot) Your daughter suffered a severe trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical ...
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  • 1,502
77 votes

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. ...
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  • 827
61 votes
Accepted

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as ...
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  • 17.6k
59 votes
Accepted

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are ...
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  • 26.4k
59 votes
Accepted

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

You can't make anything clear to someone who doesn't respect your opinion. Explanations only matter if the person you're explaining to has kind of the same world view as you do. This is where ...
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  • 66.7k
57 votes

12 year old boy is totally out of control

You have my sympathy, and a lot of it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Part of this is the age.* TL;DR: You're not alone. Many have walked this path and come through on the other side with a ...
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  • 66.7k
48 votes

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions: Children with "behavior problems" are exempt (at the discretion of their ...
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  • 968
41 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party. This is a good outcome and ...
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  • 6,642
35 votes

12 year old boy is totally out of control

I'm writing this as a guest because I don't want this associated with my professional account, but I feel I can help you understand your son because he sounds just like how I was at that age. I used ...
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31 votes

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

I think the main messages you need to get over are: Some people are attracted to both men and women. This is called bisexuality. Its perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Also, ...
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  • 9,318
30 votes

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

No parents are entitled to be told by their children about things they would want to know. It may be right for their kids to tell them, it may be good and helpful, it may be reasonable and all sorts ...
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29 votes

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we ...
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  • 13.2k
29 votes

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In ...
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  • 947
29 votes

How to figure out which of my children is lying to me?

You don't know and if you accuse your child and s/he is not the one that did it, that creates a trust problem. Most kids do this at one point or another. You should tell the truth as a model. It is ...
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  • 17.4k
27 votes

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

This is actually pretty common. First, lets get some things out on the table. Your talking to her. That makes you her friend, at least a little. Don't think that because you're older you can't "be ...
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  • 2,546
26 votes
Accepted

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

This sounds like a scarily accurate description of me when I was that age. So I'll give you my personal insight. The lying is most likely a way to get you ,or anyone else, to leave him alone ,even if ...
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  • 3,113
25 votes

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

First off, in terms of helping the child learn: Many/most schools have computer clubs. Encourage the child to inquire from other students, or ask the school professionals yourself. This will place ...
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  • 5,972
22 votes

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

Apologize to them. This reaction may be even more about you lying to them, than about the separation. Kids are not stupid, and may have suspected something is up already. Put yourself into their ...
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  • 6,642
21 votes

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

I meet people at local meetups. Where I live there are about three Python meetups a month. My experiences have been great: excellent programmers who just like to talk shop. While you will likely meet ...
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  • 309
21 votes
Accepted

Is it appropriate for boys aged 7 and 11 to go shirtless at home in front of 7 year old girl?

It can be appropriate in some cultures, and in others it can be inappropriate. That isn't really the issue here. The challenge is that you and your partner have a conflict in your approach to ...
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  • 26.4k
18 votes

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very ...
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  • 12.2k
18 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

I agree with everything that has been said about counseling - do that first and foremost. Her situation But let me add this: it is not unheard of for children in puberty to act like your daughter (...
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  • 2,430
17 votes

My 13-year-old daughter is talking to a 20-year old girl on the internet. Is this normal?

I have certainly spoken with 13 year olds on the internet and I am in my 60s. Some of the time was in a game room chat and some of the time in my role as a moderator on a forum. I am quite friendly ...
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  • 17.4k
17 votes

How to react to an eleven-year-old sneaking out at night to look at the stars?

First off: What a beautiful thing to do, and what a wonderful memory to have later on: To go watch the night sky with your friend. Is it appropriate for children that age to be that independent? ...
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16 votes

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

There are online 'parents of encopresis' support groups. A quick googling came up with several. Interacting with other parents in this situation may help you, and might give you ideas on what to ask ...
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  • 66.7k
16 votes
Accepted

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve ...
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  • 57.4k

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