208
votes
What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?
I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word.
So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and ...
- 69.4k
100
votes
Accepted
An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent
My friend obviously did not react well when she found out about the incident. How should she make up for it to her daughter?
She should apologize. You say your friend didn't react ideally, I'd say ...
- 8,675
98
votes
Accepted
Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?
I'm no parent, but an electrical engineer. So I will focus mainly on the safety aspects, and on how to push him towards safer branches of electronics.
I think encouraging his interest in electronics ...
- 666
90
votes
What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?
My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot)
Your daughter suffered a severe trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical ...
- 1,502
59
votes
Accepted
What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?
This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are ...
- 26.5k
59
votes
Accepted
Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us
You can't make anything clear to someone who doesn't respect your opinion. Explanations only matter if the person you're explaining to has kind of the same world view as you do. This is where ...
- 69.4k
56
votes
12 year old boy is totally out of control
You have my sympathy, and a lot of it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Part of this is the age.*
TL;DR: You're not alone. Many have walked this path and come through on the other side with a ...
- 69.4k
48
votes
What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?
I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions:
Children with "behavior problems" are exempt (at the discretion of their ...
- 1,067
41
votes
Accepted
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party.
This is a good outcome and ...
- 7,194
41
votes
Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?
Your son needs a mentor who is experienced in electricity and especially electrical safety. The components he is experimenting with can easily kill a person.
To compound the danger, the ability to ...
- 1,971
35
votes
Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?
Let me give an answer from the perspective of an electronics hobbyist who was once a precocious child myself.
The other answers here give very reasonable sets of rules of a kid playing with ...
- 451
34
votes
12 year old boy is totally out of control
I'm writing this as a guest because I don't want this associated with my professional account, but I feel I can help you understand your son because he sounds just like how I was at that age.
I used ...
- 349
32
votes
How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?
I think the main messages you need to get over are:
Some people are attracted to both men and women. This is called bisexuality. Its perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Also, ...
- 10.1k
30
votes
An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent
No parents are entitled to be told by their children about things they would want to know. It may be right for their kids to tell them, it may be good and helpful, it may be reasonable and all sorts ...
- 1,972
29
votes
How to figure out which of my children is lying to me?
You don't know and if you accuse your child and s/he is not the one that did it, that creates a trust problem.
Most kids do this at one point or another. You should tell the truth as a model. It is ...
- 17.5k
27
votes
Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us
This is actually pretty common. First, lets get some things out on the table.
Your talking to her. That makes you her friend, at least a little. Don't think that because you're older you can't "be ...
- 2,572
26
votes
Accepted
How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?
This sounds like a scarily accurate description of me when I was that age. So I'll give you my personal insight.
The lying is most likely a way to get you ,or anyone else, to leave him alone ,even if ...
- 3,183
22
votes
How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?
Apologize to them.
This reaction may be even more about you lying to them, than about the separation. Kids are not stupid, and may have suspected something is up already. Put yourself into their ...
- 7,194
21
votes
Accepted
Is it appropriate for boys aged 7 and 11 to go shirtless at home in front of 7 year old girl?
It can be appropriate in some cultures, and in others it can be inappropriate. That isn't really the issue here.
The challenge is that you and your partner have a conflict in your approach to ...
- 26.5k
18
votes
What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?
I agree with everything that has been said about counseling - do that first and foremost.
Her situation
But let me add this: it is not unheard of for children in puberty to act like your daughter (...
- 2,810
17
votes
My 13-year-old daughter is talking to a 20-year old girl on the internet. Is this normal?
I have certainly spoken with 13 year olds on the internet and I am in my 60s. Some of the time was in a game room chat and some of the time in my role as a moderator on a forum. I am quite friendly ...
- 17.5k
17
votes
How to react to an eleven-year-old sneaking out at night to look at the stars?
First off: What a beautiful thing to do, and what a wonderful memory to have later on: To go watch the night sky with your friend.
Is it appropriate for children that age to be that independent?
...
- 8,675
16
votes
Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?
I wouldn't worry too much, and I definitely wouldn't suggest doing anything about it.
First of all you don't know that the two of them meant to sleep in an intimate manner. They may have fallen ...
- 3,867
16
votes
Accepted
How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?
Welcome to the world of teenagers (yes, in theory 12 years old, but in reality she is now a teenager).
It sounds to me like you are doing things pretty much right. +1 for honouring the privacy of her ...
- 10.1k
15
votes
What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?
Am I overreacting??
Possibly. Probably. To adults this act - showing a young person a beheading - is horrifying, because we know all that it means. But a child might not see it that way, especially ...
- 69.4k
14
votes
What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?
Welcome to adolescence. It's really hard. If you ask her when she is calm why she does what she does, I'd be surprised if she has a real answer. Hormones make life hell for teens. It's as bad or worse ...
- 17.5k
14
votes
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can ...
- 321
13
votes
An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent
1a. Is it the fear of re-living the trauma that kept the child quiet?
Possibly. It might also be that she didn't want to betray what she saw as a confidence. Or she might have been worried that her ...
- 10.3k
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