174
votes
Son was sent home from sleepover for behavior
It is a learning opportunity, but for more than one person, especially your child and you.
First, you need to get the whole story, and you can't get it all from your son; he may well not understand ...
- 69.8k
145
votes
Why don't children know why they do things?
"I don't know why" could mean a number of things:
The answer is something that will make my parent annoyed if I'm honest.
It's not an outright lie to say "I don't know", but it's a dodge to avoid ...
- 22.6k
139
votes
How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
Try to go along this line:
There are rules that exist for everyone. I have to go to work. You have to go to school. I tell you about the rules because I know them; I don't just make them up to ...
- 1,892
129
votes
Accepted
18-month-old kicked out of church nursery
Since you're talking about church, I take it religious beliefs should be on topic here.
There are two commandments that supersede (and contain) all the others. One of them is
You shall love your ...
- 69.8k
108
votes
How to tell my 4-year-old son not to get hyper with his uncle or anyone except parents?
Kids are going to be kids. There is a lot of social etiquette and nuance that they will learn as they gain experience. Four years old is not the time. You should not place this burden on your child at ...
- 2,522
102
votes
How can I reach out to my 16-year-old son who has voiced he's depressed every day and doesn't love himself?
Five years ago I was practically in your son's shoes.
I am not a parent, nor do I intend to be, largely because of this style of parenting. That said, I feel I might be able to give you a view from ...
- 911
101
votes
Accepted
Grandparents want our three year old daughter to throw tantrums like her cousin did
What a pickle you're in!
I find it hard to imagine an adult who demands proof of love from a 3 year old by her being distressed (begging and crying). But there you have it. Your parents delight in ...
- 69.8k
99
votes
Accepted
Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?
I'm no parent, but an electrical engineer. So I will focus mainly on the safety aspects, and on how to push him towards safer branches of electronics.
I think encouraging his interest in electronics ...
- 676
98
votes
How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school
First, I would (as Becuzz mentioned) sit down with him and hear his side of the story. It may be that he was cheating, and in this case, if he seems properly repentant and embarrassed, you might work ...
- 8,987
85
votes
Accepted
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
I don't know what culture you are coming from, but in the U.S., a birthday celebration is for the celebrant more than it is for the attendees. From that point of view, it would be pretty lousy to ...
- 1,972
77
votes
Why is trying to talk children out of how they feel a bad idea?
The definition you've likely found was the definition of talking something out. "to settle something by discussion: Let's not get mad. Let's just talk it out. Please, let's talk out this matter calmly....
- 965
70
votes
Accepted
How to handle my little brother's addiction to videogames?
This is anecdotal but...
Throughout highschool my life was: wake-up, go to school, come home, game, go to bed, repeat. As I developed other hobbies, I did those instead of gaming. As money to buy ...
- 2,140
70
votes
Are my parents right to give me a severe punishment for being brought home by the police drunk? I am 16
Your parents are being lenient
I'm not sure where you live, but in the State of NJ, the penalties for underage drinking are a fine between $500-$1,000 and imprisonment for up to 6 months.
You've ...
- 1,811
66
votes
Accepted
Should endless "but what if" questions be encouraged or discouraged?
In my opinion (as a parent, not a psychologist or educator), curiosity is not something that should ever be discouraged... except that everything has limits rooted in practicality. What the child is ...
- 61.8k
66
votes
Why my kids don't get excited to see me
This is pretty normal with parents everywhere - we're not interesting or different, we're just ... there. Go on a trip without your kids for a few weeks, and you'll see some very excited kids when ...
- 61.8k
65
votes
How to get my 4yo daughter's fixation on my belly button under control?
I would try appealing to her sense of empathy. She is young, but should be able to understand that you don't like/feel comfortable with her poking your navel, and if prompted she may be able to ...
- 761
57
votes
How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
Seems to me this is something where the truth is a good answer.
You are responsible for her, because of her lack of experience and lack of maturity. The more she can show maturity, the less you need ...
- 61.8k
57
votes
Get around peer's mind games gracefully
I think the first thing is to take a step back and consider that they are both acting normally for their age. It's normal at age 2 and 3 to have limited social skills, limited empathy for others, and ...
- 7,614
56
votes
12 year old boy is totally out of control
You have my sympathy, and a lot of it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Part of this is the age.*
TL;DR: You're not alone. Many have walked this path and come through on the other side with a ...
- 69.8k
55
votes
Why don't children know why they do things?
I think it's not surprising a seven year old doesn't know exactly why he does what he does. I often don't know why I do things that I know I shouldn't, not really - at least, until I spend a lot of ...
- 61.8k
52
votes
Does toddler keep hands around private parts?
Although it is always wise to be cautious about the safety of your young child, in general it is developmentally normal and natural (and not at all sexual in the adult sense) for a three year old to ...
- 7,614
51
votes
8 year old is breaking the rules, and not understanding consequences
First: do not, under any circumstances, try to "trigger" them. That's a great way to end up in a reddit thread a decade or so down the line complaining about the child's mentally abusive ...
- 61.8k
51
votes
Accepted
How to get my younger sister to listen?
You're in a complicated position, but if it helps, so are most of us parents!
What works will likely be the same sort of thing that works for me with my eight year old.
Treat her like an adult, for ...
- 61.8k
50
votes
Accepted
Do parents get punishment too?
As parents we start by modelling behaviour for our children. Show by your good example what you as a family do and how you act and react when a wilful or unwillful mistake is made. Discipline should ...
- 17.5k
49
votes
How can I reach out to my 16-year-old son who has voiced he's depressed every day and doesn't love himself?
Have you "walked a mile in his shoes?" Unless you can see the world through his eyes, how can you begin to help him?
So, based on the incomplete details you've provided, let's check out ...
- 7,290
49
votes
To what extent should an (almost) two year old be able to lie still on command?
I am a physician, starting as a Family Practitioner and switching to Emergency Medicine. I can safely say that over the decades, I've examined and done procedures of some kind, including suturing ...
- 69.8k
48
votes
Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?
I don't believe you can spoil a child without having them act spoiled. You can't jump in a pool without getting wet, just like you can't spoil a child without having it affect them.
Spoiling a child ...
- 13.3k
48
votes
Why do I have negative feelings about my mother?
I don't think you hate your Mother as strongly as you think you do. We always get angry with those that are near us. It seems to be the easiest way to vent.
I remember being 16 and the reason why is ...
- 2,080
47
votes
How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do
I think you have a perfect opportunity to wow her.
She should be able to tell you what to do.
In the morning we need to brush our teeth. If I forget, you will tell me to brush my teeth. If you want,...
- 640
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