170 votes
Accepted

How to convince a 4-year old child that professional cyclists are not littering during a race?

So... I've raced bikes and from my experience, they are probably littering. As much as a race organizer may try to clean up after a race the distance covered and volume of waste generated during a ...
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125 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
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  • 17.6k
108 votes

How to tell my 4-year-old son not to get hyper with his uncle or anyone except parents?

Kids are going to be kids. There is a lot of social etiquette and nuance that they will learn as they gain experience. Four years old is not the time. You should not place this burden on your child at ...
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100 votes
Accepted

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

My friend obviously did not react well when she found out about the incident. How should she make up for it to her daughter? She should apologize. You say your friend didn't react ideally, I'd say ...
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81 votes
Accepted

What can I tell and what can I ask of a 2nd grade teacher, about my child's health?

Ask yourself: If you were the teacher, would you rather be warned or find yourself suddenly facing a 2nd grader with a full-blown asthma attack? I don't think your request is unreasonable. And you ...
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  • 17.6k
78 votes
Accepted

How should I respond to a 6 year old's dark drawings?

I wouldn't consider that dark. Dark would be every drawing having family members dead or something. Specific to people you know. I used to draw medieval scenes with gruesome atrocities but it was not ...
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  • 4,568
76 votes

How to talk to a teen daughter about her weight

Disclaimer: I'm not a parent so I can't speak from personal experience. Also, there seem to be several issues, but the main one is how to talk to her about her weight, so I will cover only that with ...
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75 votes
Accepted

What do I do about my mom setting her expectations too high?

You have lots of options. Here's one: At dinner one evening, you can say you have a serious announcement. Then tell your mom and dad that you're pregnant. You're really sorry you slipped up, but it ...
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  • 66.3k
68 votes
Accepted

How to comfort my dad after telling him that I don't like to do anything with him?

It's so hard for parents when their children start to pull away. We may be parents, but we are also human beings. It hurts, even when we try not to show it. We question ourselves and if we are doing ...
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  • 1,751
68 votes

How do I explain the reasons behind protesting and rioting to my children?

To answer the question as to "why protests turn to riots" it often comes down to people not feeling like they are heard. Think about if you (or your child) is asking for something, something you ...
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  • 13.3k
60 votes

How to explain intravenous drug abuse to a 6-year-old?

Just be truthful. While the details about chemical addiction may fly over a 6 year old's head, the general idea is really not that hard to understand. Tell them that drugs are chemicals that can make ...
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  • 777
60 votes

My 15-year-old son is gay. How do I express my feelings about this?

How do I express my feelings towards him being gay without actually hurting his feelings? Right now, you don't unless he asks. Even then, I'd equivocate ("Give me time to gather my thoughts. This is ...
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  • 66.3k
59 votes
Accepted

How to talk to a teen daughter about her weight

Your daughter is 16 years old. While you're right that she's "under [y]our roof and so [y]our rules", that's not going to last forever; presumably she'll be moving out to go to college (or something ...
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  • 56.2k
56 votes

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Kids love their parents. This is true the vast majority of the time, even when the parent is abusive and manipulative to an extraordinary degree. Therefore it is extremely difficult to form a close ...
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  • 3,193
55 votes

How best for a trans and/or non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest ...
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  • 56.2k
47 votes

How to answer my 4-year-old asking where she was when I was small and how she got in my tummy?

I tend to think some version of the truth is always best. To deal with this question when my son asked it, I used a fruit analogy: just like apples grow on trees, babies grow in their mommy's tummies; ...
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  • 3,193
47 votes

How to convince a 4-year old child that professional cyclists are not littering during a race?

What's important here is not the "littering" as such but that people are being responsible. I presume you want your son to be a responsible person in general so I'd focus on that and if he isn't too ...
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46 votes

How to explain intravenous drug abuse to a 6-year-old?

My general approach is that it's not a good idea to hide the world from your children. Of course I wouldn't go into the gruesome details of drug addiction, but my view is that when I explain this to ...
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  • 586
45 votes
Accepted

How to answer my 4-year-old asking where she was when I was small and how she got in my tummy?

It's difficult to understand what children are actually seeking as an answer when they ask a question such as this. Since parents know the whole story, it's a challenge to tease out just enough ...
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  • 66.3k
43 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

I cannot really give first-hand advice, never having been in a similar situation. However, I would think the basic approach should be the same as for an adopted child. Basically: don't push ...
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  • 2,668
41 votes

How to comfort my dad after telling him that I don't like to do anything with him?

UPDATE: This is apparently affecting my dad so much that he's thinking about quitting work, and he's the only source of income. I need some step-by-step instructions on how to do this before it's too ...
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  • 10.2k
39 votes

Disclosing parent separation to all children together or each one separately

I am not sure there is a right answer, but to me, it would make sense to do it together. The reasoning for this is the following: I feel it would be better to have both of you present for the ...
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  • 3,109
38 votes

How to convince a 4-year old child that professional cyclists are not littering during a race?

I don't see any reason why you should condone this behaviour, even if it is allowed by the authorities. If your child is interested in making sure trash ends up in the appropriate place, or isn't ...
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38 votes

How best for a trans and/or non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

A decent approach may be to keep it simple: "I'm still figuring that out", which sounds like a decent summary of where you are at the moment. Most kids are pretty chill about adults admitting we don'...
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  • 533
36 votes

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

I have some experience in this area. About 10 years ago I married my wife, whose children were teenagers at the time. A lot of the tension from her divorce was dissolved rather quickly, and there is a ...
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35 votes

Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?

Whether she realises it consciously or not, she is directly undermining and interfering with your ability to parent your children. She is not their parent, nor their legal guardian, and has no right ...
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  • 755
31 votes
Accepted

Son (22) has to keep initiating contact between son and parents after moving out

Both my parents and my in-laws had similar issues when I first got married, so I think it's not that uncommon. I would try not to read anything bad into it. It's just a period of adjustment. First ...
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31 votes

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

I think the main messages you need to get over are: Some people are attracted to both men and women. This is called bisexuality. Its perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Also, ...
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