Hot answers tagged

171

I am a retired teacher and I am shocked that this teacher felt that was appropriate. I'd start by talking to the teacher -- but you hang on to the papers. IMO, and probably the vast majority of parents and teachers, we are trying to build up children and encourage them into enjoying the learning process. We are not there to tear them down. If the teacher ...


152

This teacher is carefully producing a future math-hater. I've worked with enough high school students to know. I've also worked with enough people in personal counseling to know that whether you care to face it or not, this sort of work is NOT accidental. This is a deliberate, even if unconscious, effort to sabotage your child's learning. At that age the ...


81

Ask yourself: If you were the teacher, would you rather be warned or find yourself suddenly facing a 2nd grader with a full-blown asthma attack? I don't think your request is unreasonable. And you are not expecting her to watch your son like a hawk, or do something super-taxing, but just to be aware of a special situation. If you phrase your request ...


58

I agree with the other answers. This was not an appropriate way to correct the child's homework. From just this example, I would guess that the teacher was more interested in obedience than initiative, which is definitely not good. (He was asked to write from one to 30. He wrote from 2 to 50. Personally, I would have been pleased as punch, and said so.) I ...


43

When your child is at school the teacher is in loco parentis (literally "in the place of parents"): meaning that they should treat each and every child as if they were the parent, nurturing both their educational and more abstract needs (emotional etc.). This is not a role for everyone, and teachers should be held in great esteem for what they do, as it is ...


38

I'd like to add a different perspective: I assume that the red writing was done by the teacher. This would make the entire page a form that your child was supposed to fill in in a very specific manner. Each cell with a red dot was supposed to be filled with a single digit. You will notice there are three pairs of two columns with 10 rows each. Plus one ...


36

I liked @Willow Rex's answer quite a bit, and I think it can solve your problem. However, there's another aspect to your question that I think can be addressed if you so desire. Since you already told the teacher in charge and she dismissed your concerns out of hand, then discuss it with the principal. If you get no results there (they really should take ...


36

I think a large concern here that has not been brought up is the destruction of evidence of progress. Even if your child should do it again, and even if they do do better, they will have no way of knowing they did so because the Original work does not exist anymore - problematic because one of the primary motivators at that age is visible progress. I ...


31

The best way I've found to approach teachers about things they do in the classroom (which they presumably think are okay) and you disagree with, is to approach them from the point of view that they're not wrong: but instead, that you have a preference that's different, and you're asking them politely to adjust to your preference, but understand it's a ...


27

Pretty much what you said here. "Please keep an extra close eye on Johnny right now. He has asthma which is usually well controlled, but a cold or flu seems to exacerbate his symptoms. If you notice he seems to be having difficulty breathing or you feel he looks especially unwell, please send him immediately to the nurse/office. We appreciate your attention ...


26

I will answer this from the point of view of, once upon a time, the child in this situation. I don't know if any of this applies to your friend's child as I don't know him, but perhaps it will for others in a similar situation if nothing else. I was the 'perfect' student as a child; always the teacher's pet, always the top of the class, always wanting ...


18

I think this is inappropriate for whatever reasons In my opinion, you need to be clear why you think it is inappropriate. I can think of three possible reasons, (1) they are of a different gender, (2) a young child should not be given responsibility over another child. (3) the child helping would miss some of the class. (1) I presume that the girl was only ...


17

Listen and sympathize with the child. "Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. I bet you felt bad afterwards". Then discuss the situation. Ask why the child thinks the teacher did that, what the child can do in future. This is supportive and encouraging the child to develp their own strategies. You can mention the fact that sometimes people make mistakes. You ...


17

I would agree with you that this is not the right way of checking homework of a 5 year old. It can be very discouraging to the child. I do not think the teacher should erase the homework even if the quality of work was not great. Which is not the case - looking at the photo the work is done very well for a 5 year old. Firstly, I would like to make sure ...


14

If this is pre-school, his teacher may not be an actual teacher that completed an elementary education, or early learning course. Many pre-school teachers that work in day care centers are very well trained, take course work on early childhood education, and may or may not be currently enrolled in a college level course. Some, however, are (or at one time ...


12

Your body is yours. Unless you expressly consent to a hug on each and every occasion it's de jure harrassment. However, you've not given express consent each time, so what now? If you want a legal option, move your question to Workplace.SE or Law.SE. Since you asked on Parenting, I assume you want a softer response: guidance on changing the kids' behavior. ...


11

Aliel, this is obviously very painful for you and for your son, but I think you might be over-reacting to the situation. From what you've written above, these are some of the assumptions you seem to be making, which I think may not be justified: That your 5-year-old son's perception that his teacher is victimising him means that the teacher actually is ...


10

I would address the accuracy of the name calling first. Was he shushing the noisy people, or announcing loudly that they should shush in order to get a teacher's attention? What was his true motivation? If it was simply to tell them what is right, I would say something like "the teacher was mistaken (it happens) and thought you were trying to get them in ...


10

I am a retired special ed teacher and hugs do seem to come with the job, don't they?! Not only can it be awkward due to the size of the child and where they might touch, but often times hugs came with a runny nose and left deposits. So if you are a music teacher and the children are sharing instruments, you might talk about clean hands, sneezing and how ...


10

Your kid has a better handwriting than I and many fellow software engineers I know. Furthermore, the instructions are unnecessarily terse and hard to decipher. Not to mention the abysmal handwriting on the instructor's part. I'm a 28 year old native speaker and I can't, for the life of me, figure out what "Write the numerals on own" is even supposed to ...


10

What is okay to ask of from my child's teacher regarding his physical health? It's often not OK to ask the school to give medicine or other medical care (or it may be OK but only if you give them the medicine and a doctor's prescription for it). It is OK (I expect it's required) to inform the school of any particular health risks (including allergies). It ...


9

I'd like to address this: The boss of the project then told me that I should under no circumstances talk about it with the mother. She said the girls probably come from a family where hugs are given freely and that they are simply too young to understand why it bothers me. I have a family where hugs are given freely; family friends and their children are ...


9

While I don't think that the erasing by the teacher is the best policy, I feel that you are overreacting. It would be enough to explain your kid that sometimes disagreements happen, and that although the teacher didn't act in this situation in a way you (and him) like, she still needs to be respected. I would also mention to your kid what was wrong with ...


7

This is something Alice (who is quite a bit younger), as well as a number of students (who were also, mostly middle school students) I have had have struggled with. Let me preface this by saying, I know Beofett is asking with a friend in mind, I am going to write this as if I am speaking directly to the parent just for the sake of simplicity. Kids do ...


7

Sergio and Dave BOTH have good answers for general activities, but if you are simply looking for a signal to get them to quite down and look at you for transitioning to the next activity there are a number of things to try depending on the specifics of the situation. You have to teach them it will be a signal and then use it pretty often first, but there ...


7

First off, when it involves your children being physically assaulted, always believe them. Children (especially so young) don't tend to have a strong concept of consequences. Because of this, it is unlikely that your daughter is fabricating the story to get the teacher in trouble. In order to broach this subject with the teachers, you should ask the ...


6

You are not going to get an accurate report on the day's activities in the classroom from a five year old. In fact most 13 year olds don't report accurately on what's going on. I arranged to spend two full days in my child's classroom. I sat at the back, and had a laptop, and tried to work, although I actually found the noise and chaos made working ...


6

I am surprised that no one suggested you sit in on the "class" several times to observe your daughter's behavior. To communicate effectively, you need to know (and if to believe, you need to see first hand, so be it) what behaviors of concern your child's teachers are seeing, and for them to believe you, they need to know if what you say is true (if it is, ...


6

Kids are very good at putting their own spin on the situation and I feel there are a few things that seem out of place... One of the things children need to learn is when it is appropriate to help and what help is appropriate. As someone who deals with a large group of children regularly myself I can tell you the noise of one or more children trying to 'be ...


6

I am a retired teacher, so you should know that before you read my answer. I think a parent should always go to the teacher first with a concern. If you think it is truly serious -- then ask for a meeting with the teacher and with the Admin sitting in. Your Admin sounds like an asshat to me. If you ask something in confidence, it should remain confidential. ...


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