128

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


112

This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer the consequences of his bad behavior (i.e. ask him to respect his agreement or to leave.) You have struggled with your son's attitude for a long time. He's an ...


101

The question we need to answer is "Is the device his device or not?" If the device was his and you just agreed to pay a portion of it as a gift (as in - no strings attached) then the device was not yours to keep. Perhaps you could ride the line that he can't use it in your house while he lived there but as far as that is concerned, it was his to take. It's ...


93

I like the way my mother did: I told my mother I was going to buy my first car. She listened to me, my budget, my pro's and con's and once I had picked a car I could afford and was planning to get it she figured out I was serious and told me that she had "a little something extra" for me. This method meant that I had experienced the pricing of cars, had to ...


91

Mine is getting ready to head off to college soon too, it's a fine line to tread between spoiling and being too detached. The way I put it to my kid is that as long s/he is either gainfully employed or doing reasonably well in education (just generally bettering his situation) I am willing to help out. I wouldn't buy my kid a car unless he put up some money ...


63

Speaking as a parent, I'm grateful to see this being done by a religious institution. So kudos. To be effective - including against pregnancy and STIs - condoms need to be used and stored in a certain manner. Improper use/storage may lead to undesirable consequences, so it only makes sense to include instructions with the items. The young adults who ...


51

When legally adult children continue to live with their parents, they implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house because they are legally free to choose to move out and live by their own rules. The times you mention seem on the conservative side to me. I'm sure your parents mean well but if you want to change things then I would start by figuring ...


50

I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself. Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting books nor think I am the best parent in the world. If I was in your situation I would kick him out. Simple and plain. He is an adult and you are no longer ...


47

Any opinions or advice on how I should address this matter, if at all, is appreciated. You don't address it. Accusing him of stealing his own device (which you took from him) will only harm your relationship further. Raising such an accusation, in your situation, cannot benefit any of the involved parties in any way. In his mind it's his device. He was ...


47

Buy him a used vehicle. Let hm earn his first "new" car. I am like you; I worked for everything I got. I started working after school at 15, and at 17 I bought my first used Volkswagen Bug for 400$ (monthly payments of $25, plus insurance and gas. But my parents were poor. Getting help from them was out of the question. I wanted a better life for my kids, ...


39

he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. That is a threat, and you should call the police to report it. For your son to respect you, first you have to respect yourself.


38

TL,DR: I don't believe you should've seize his device. If he's an adult, you should consider him as one. You shouldn't "punish" him as parents punish their son: you should have a talk about the problem, apply some reasonable restrictions at most, but not taking something that belongs to him. You say you "helped our son pay for an iPod Touch". From this, I ...


37

First off, your interaction with your toddler is totally common (I would say it's borderline universal, actually). Toddlers that age love to push boundaries. I would say two things - the first is, don't sweat it so much. If your kid only eats crap, let it happen. They're seriously not going to be a 20 year old who only eats chicken nuggets. Hitting and ...


34

It looks from your post that you have very good reasons not to let your mother stay at your place. It seems that in spite of seeing all the reasons why this is a bad idea you are still hesitant. A few points to consider: If your mother stays even for one night it will be harder to ask her to leave or not to repeat her visit in the future. Not everyone ...


33

I see two aspects in this, summed up in these words: on one side, the son is a guest and should respect the house rules and/or the wishes of the hosts, on the other side, the parents are making a rather silly demand on their son because he is no longer legally underage and doesn't need to be supervised. In the end, the parents are the hosts, and ...


29

I have small children now, but I can imagine that I will feel the same when I become a grandparent. When I had my first baby, I assumed that my mom will take care of him. I asked her, and she said yes. Maybe she didn't realize what it meant or truly overestimated herself, but it was obvious in a couple of weeks that she was way over her head. We hired a ...


28

It is never too late to teach your kid where money comes from and what it is worth. Since he is a student, his opportunities to earn will be somewhat restricted. Here is what I would do I would tell him that I don't want to have to evaluate individual requests like "Can I have a car?" or "Can I have $100 to go out for the evening?" Instead I want to ...


28

I might be flamed off the site for this but are you sure your reaction is justified? From your description your son's big transgressions are drinking, smoking, stealing and telling lies. I can think of only a few I've known who have not done one or all of those things when they were young. It's stupid, irresponsible, and can damage your future but it's also ...


26

I am a parent who for many reasons including religious ones, does not want my children to have premarital sex. I sent my son to university with a package of condoms and he said he was instructed in health ed at school. Also he reminded me that he can use the internet! I would rather he has condoms and does not need them than he does need them and does not ...


22

If you have 3 rooms for the children, then give each their own room, but with one condition that when guests sleep over, they must give up one room for the guests. That room should be the 20-year-old's because she's the only one not using it full-time in the first place. She's also the only legally adult person whom you are not obliged to house. Do not ...


22

Am I really wrong ??? The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide for yourself if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs. One question that comes to mind is, would you feel the same exact way if the other person were a male? In other words, if she didn't come out as gay and flaunt ...


22

Please let me first assure you that I'm speaking from experience here. Your post is pure music to my ears. I have a son who has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder.) I had heard of ODD, but thought it was just an excuse for poor parenting, then my son started to show signs of it. My child's therapist (he started in therapy at 12, and we started in ...


22

I agree with Ola M. You have to draw the line and then stick to it. "Sorry Mum, you can't stay with me." If you make excuses, she is going to be able to find 'solutions', so the only way is to tell the truth. You said you father understands, so I'd tell him the unvarnished truth and see if he has a way of telling your mum that won't be as hurtful. Perhaps ...


21

From what you describe, it sounds like you're making a huge and sensible effort to be a good parent. I think you would do well in a situation where you are not overruled. But it's clear from your description that your parents are overruling your parenting decisions, and this is the thing that causes you the most grief. This is what you should work on -- ...


21

Right now, your son doesn't have the life skills to succeed in the world, and you know that. That's why you can't tell him to leave. You know he'll be homeless on a street corner in a week, so what you need to do is get him ready. Cancel his credit card Make him get his own prepay cell phone plan Do not pay for anything he wants Drop him off at the ...


21

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult! An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies. Make him aware of interaction between drugs as ...


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


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