130 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us ...
113 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer ...
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102 votes

How can we manage our adult son taking back an item we confiscated, without our knowledge, when he has moved out?

The question we need to answer is "Is the device his device or not?" If the device was his and you just agreed to pay a portion of it as a gift (as in - no strings attached) then the device was not ...
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93 votes
Accepted

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

I like the way my mother did: I told my mother I was going to buy my first car. She listened to me, my budget, my pro's and con's and once I had picked a car I could afford and was planning to get it ...
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  • 1,058
91 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Mine is getting ready to head off to college soon too, it's a fine line to tread between spoiling and being too detached. The way I put it to my kid is that as long s/he is either gainfully employed ...
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  • 1,009
63 votes
Accepted

Condoms in a care package: Parents advice

Speaking as a parent, I'm grateful to see this being done by a religious institution. So kudos. To be effective - including against pregnancy and STIs - condoms need to be used and stored in a ...
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  • 66.7k
50 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself. Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting ...
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  • 641
50 votes
Accepted

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

Joe's excellent answer is sufficient in itself. I just wanted to add my experience as a parent (and maybe my experience with troubled kids.) This is one of the hardest phases of parenting: the (nearly)...
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  • 66.7k
47 votes

How can we manage our adult son taking back an item we confiscated, without our knowledge, when he has moved out?

Any opinions or advice on how I should address this matter, if at all, is appreciated. You don't address it. Accusing him of stealing his own device (which you took from him) will only harm your ...
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  • 2,899
47 votes

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

Buy him a used vehicle. Let hm earn his first "new" car. I am like you; I worked for everything I got. I started working after school at 15, and at 17 I bought my first used Volkswagen Bug for 400$ (...
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  • 66.7k
38 votes

How can we manage our adult son taking back an item we confiscated, without our knowledge, when he has moved out?

TL,DR: I don't believe you should've seize his device. If he's an adult, you should consider him as one. You shouldn't "punish" him as parents punish their son: you should have a talk about the ...
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  • 495
35 votes

How to deal with parents that enforce a curfew on an adult

I also had parents that enforced curfew and rules on me past the time that it would normally be expected (until I completed college), and the thing that helped most was proving that I had moved past ...
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  • 7,524
34 votes
Accepted

I don't like my mom and she is coming to stay with me, how to prevent it or handle in the best way?

It looks from your post that you have very good reasons not to let your mother stay at your place. It seems that in spite of seeing all the reasons why this is a bad idea you are still hesitant. A ...
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  • 646
33 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

What worked for a family member of one of my relatives was fairly straightforward: set rules or limits based on what works for the parents, and largely otherwise letting go. The parents spent years ...
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  • 57.4k
29 votes
Accepted

I don't want to be an involved grandparent. How do I let my son know?

I have small children now, but I can imagine that I will feel the same when I become a grandparent. When I had my first baby, I assumed that my mom will take care of him. I asked her, and she said ...
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  • 1,575
28 votes

How can I keep our son out of our life

I might be flamed off the site for this but are you sure your reaction is justified? From your description your son's big transgressions are drinking, smoking, stealing and telling lies. I can think ...
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  • 4,568
26 votes

Condoms in a care package: Parents advice

I am a parent who for many reasons including religious ones, does not want my children to have premarital sex. I sent my son to university with a package of condoms and he said he was instructed in ...
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  • 412
24 votes

20 yo daughter left home to live with a "bad" girl - what should I do?

Am I really wrong ??? The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide for yourself if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs. ...
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  • 66.7k
23 votes
Accepted

How can I be more meaningful in my thanks to my parents?

Please let me first assure you that I'm speaking from experience here. Your post is pure music to my ears. I have a son who has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder.) I had heard of ODD, but ...
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22 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you ...
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  • 221
22 votes

I don't like my mom and she is coming to stay with me, how to prevent it or handle in the best way?

I agree with Ola M. You have to draw the line and then stick to it. "Sorry Mum, you can't stay with me." If you make excuses, she is going to be able to find 'solutions', so the only way is to tell ...
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  • 17.4k
22 votes
Accepted

Mom Reading My Texts and Emails

It sounds as if you already told her you didn't want her to read your emails. Her response was that she has a right to read your personal communications. You need to do a little bit of reading before ...
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  • 66.7k
20 votes
Accepted

How to convince an adult son that pot and LSD, even used sparingly is not acceptable

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation ...
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  • 3,109
19 votes

Son 22 asks me how to deal with a friend with benefits, so that she does not get hurt

Disclaimer: I'll use the word 'relationship' in the general sense, encompassing any kind of relationship; I'll use the term 'exclusive relationship' to refer to, well, an exclusive, mutually agreed to ...
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19 votes

20 yo daughter left home to live with a "bad" girl - what should I do?

My comment was a little harsh, here is how I feel about this situation: Your daughter is an adult. You have absolutely no right to tell her who she can and cannot befriend. I don't know what this ...
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19 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available ...
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  • 393
19 votes

Story of a sad mom - adult son who is violent and suffering from depression

when I was driving and he used bad words to me and punched to my head many time, I wanted to call 911 , but he said I will kill you later if you do it. We asked police before , but they said we can ...
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