258
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Accepted
Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?
Your sister got herself into a situation that she felt she needed to lie about. She could have continued doing that in the hope that she never got caught out, or until some crisis point where she was ...
- 1,790
234
votes
What can I as a teenager do about my insanely strict parents?
Sit them down for a big, honest conversation. Don't make it about what you want, though. Make it about what they want, and especially ask them, honestly, how they think what they are doing right now ...
- 8,355
211
votes
Teenage daughter refusing to go to school
(Background: I saw this question on SE and am answering from an anonymous account because of personal details). I'm not a parent but feel the need to post because this resonated strongly with me.
...
- 2,319
160
votes
My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I'm late to the discussion here, but...
I believe firmly in making the punishment fit the crime.
If she wasn't on the phone while speeding, I don't understand what her phone has to do with it. ...
- 69.8k
148
votes
Accepted
My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I drive fast...too fast...and am working on breaking that habit now. Both parents drove fast and aggressive and therefore I picked up those traits, still I am the one driving and choosing to drive in ...
- 1,879
147
votes
Teenagers Ogling my Daughter. What to do?
Should I ask them to stop or let them be?
You should probably not involve yourself directly.
It's your daughter who has to decide whether she feels uncomfortable, and whether to address that feeling ...
- 8,675
140
votes
Seventeen year old daughter wants to take an international trip to meet someone she met online
Either you go with her, or she doesn't go.
I'm not really sure what the correct answer is, but I can tell you that letting her go alone is the wrong answer. She might not even make it to her "friend"...
- 1,269
130
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her.
However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
- 69.8k
128
votes
Should a parent delete a teen's social media account if it was handled badly?
Ok, deleting wouldn't do anything. Keeping her activities in secret, is a clear sign to me, that she thinks that you will just be unreasonably forbidding her to do anything in that direction. If you ...
- 2,505
123
votes
Skater teen wears shoes with holes, and doesn't care
"I always taught him not to care what other people think..."
Then congratulations! You have achieved one of your parenting goals. It's a pretty good goal, and will often stand him in good stead in ...
- 69.8k
116
votes
Bedtime for 12-13 year old girl
I think it's time to let go of those reins and I honestly think you'll get a very good reaction. I'd even go as far as to say don't restrict her bedtime at all. Granted, rules should be in place like:
...
- 13.4k
108
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Seventeen year old daughter wants to take an international trip to meet someone she met online
The previous replies do not address the worry about the identity of the girl in CA. One suggestion is to tell your daughter that you and your wife need to talk to the girl in CA via Skype. You can ...
- 841
102
votes
How can I reach out to my 16-year-old son who has voiced he's depressed every day and doesn't love himself?
Five years ago I was practically in your son's shoes.
I am not a parent, nor do I intend to be, largely because of this style of parenting. That said, I feel I might be able to give you a view from ...
- 911
96
votes
My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
I'm going to go a different route than many of the other answers, in that you could do what my parents did for me. It not only forced me to take responsibility for my actions, but also to cover the ...
- 1,384
90
votes
Teenage daughter refusing to go to school
First, please let me express my sympathy with what seems to be an extremely difficult situation. What follows does not mean I am not sympathetic with your struggles.
You seem to have a few ideas of ...
- 69.8k
90
votes
Accepted
Seventeen year old daughter wants to take an international trip to meet someone she met online
The way I see it there are two possibilities, either the story is true or it is not true. And in both cases your daughter needs your help.
If you manage to prevent your daughter from going to see ...
- 1,108
80
votes
Have I lost my daughter?
When I was in 4th grade I switched schools. Immediately life became harder for me, because I was bullied in school, but my parents didn't know, and I was still good with them.
Then, when I was in ...
- 1,537
77
votes
How to talk to a teen daughter about her weight
Disclaimer: I'm not a parent so I can't speak from personal experience. Also, there seem to be several issues, but the main one is how to talk to her about her weight, so I will cover only that with ...
75
votes
Accepted
How can I convince my parents to accept my approach on school?
If you want them to accept your approach, you're going to have to show them you've truly mitigated that risk. The only way I can see to do that is landing some good-paying ($25/hour+) programming ...
- 36k
75
votes
Accepted
What do I do about my mom setting her expectations too high?
You have lots of options. Here's one:
At dinner one evening, you can say you have a serious announcement. Then tell your mom and dad that you're pregnant. You're really sorry you slipped up, but it ...
- 69.8k
70
votes
Skater teen wears shoes with holes, and doesn't care
This sounds like a 'perfect rebellion' to me. Your teen is very nearly an adult and could be making other choices that really could be much worse than holey shoes.
Part of the growing up process is ...
- 17.5k
70
votes
Are my parents right to give me a severe punishment for being brought home by the police drunk? I am 16
Your parents are being lenient
I'm not sure where you live, but in the State of NJ, the penalties for underage drinking are a fine between $500-$1,000 and imprisonment for up to 6 months.
You've ...
- 1,811
69
votes
Accepted
How to comfort my dad after telling him that I don't like to do anything with him?
It's so hard for parents when their children start to pull away. We may be parents, but we are also human beings. It hurts, even when we try not to show it. We question ourselves and if we are doing ...
- 1,771
66
votes
What can I as a teenager do about my insanely strict parents?
OK, this may take some time but it could get you a bit of freedom.
Tell your parents that you want to get a job when you turn 16. Use several excuses like, "I want to save up for college," "To get a ...
- 1,366
65
votes
How can I teach a teenager to plan better and procrastinate less in his studies?
Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often ...
- 10.2k
65
votes
Accepted
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]?
You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
- 6,563
63
votes
Seventeen year old daughter wants to take an international trip to meet someone she met online
Frist, it's helpful to be clear about what your goals as a parent are. For us, it's always been "help our kids to turn into independent, happy and responsible adults". Don't get stuck on "need to ...
- 7,204
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