Hot answers tagged

167

Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions. I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a country that is ...


131

I'm an atheist living in Germany, and had to face similar problems with the surroundings of my daughter (7). One very important lesson that I try to teach her every day is to never blindly believe anything anyone tells her. She should double-check any piece of information, even if it comes from a supposedly reliable source (teacher, her parents, grand-...


85

You (the parent) are responsible for 'indoctrinating' your children Let me tell you what I think, from the complete opposite side. I am a fundamentalist Christian, who has the misfortune of living in Washington DC. Christians who want a Christian education in the large cities of the US sent their kids to a Christian school. But, the one near my house is 14k ...


80

As a 54 year old German I just had "Religion" as a normal subject in our public elementary school. I guess my parents could technically have let me skip these one or two hours per week, but nobody did that back then, and there was no non-religious alternative like "Ethics" or such. Of course the lessons were about Christian religion. I remember them fondly, ...


41

About 25 years ago I was in the same place as you. So here are my observations: At 3 years old it's already too late for kindergarten to persuade your kid that their deity is more real than Santa. Your kid copies you a lot more than you think. Actually they don't try very hard, they all just troop along to church or whatever, sing the songs, decorate for ...


29

This sounds totally inappropriate and a major warning flag. Both my children have been through numerous childcare centres/kindergartens/ELCs and none of them even had a television. The American Academy of Pediatrics have "that parents should limit the amount of time their infants and toddlers spend in front of any sort of screen and reaffirmed earlier ...


21

Offer him a "routine" to give him a sense of control and time to transition. A repeatable routine would give him a chance to smoothly "wrap up" what he is doing mentally and help him switch contexts. Try something along the lines of, "Hi (term of endearment and name) I'm here, you have about 10 minutes to get ready to go. Can you show me what you are ...


17

This is something I also struggled with. I have two children: a son, now 14, and a daughter, who'll be 8 at the end of the month. I had custody of my son for the first four years of his life, after which his mother begged me to let her take him back. She actually enrolled him in a private Christian school which he attended for several years. I avoided the ...


17

This is the strategy I took when my daughter had been introduced to Christianity by a kindergarten teacher and begun professing a belief in God. Teach her about many other religions, myths and origin stories. Explain how these stories contradict each other and cannot all be true. Explain my own atheism and why I do not believe in Christianity, and told her ...


16

Some of the main proponents of attachment theory, which is a theory of how children develop a relationship with their primary caregiver and how that impacts their relationships throughout the rest of their life, are generally opposed to daycare, as described in this article. If you look into attachment theory and daycare you will find more information from ...


15

It is inevitable your child assumes the norms and values from the society he grows up in. If you don't like your environment, your only choice is to put your child in another environment. But norms and values are fundamentally different from taking everything people say for granted, which is something most people learn when they become more self-conscious ...


15

About 1 in 10 children discover masturbation before puberty. And the majority of those discover it in infancy or as toddlers. It is almost never a sign of abuse or sexual misconduct, and there is no research that suggests that this is unhealthy or that it leads to longterm mental or sexual damage of any sort. I know it seems counterintuitive, but it seems to ...


14

I fear you are worrying too much. I would encourage you to read bedtime stories from Norse mythology, Greek mythology, Aesop's fables, and maybe even Hindu mythology. The notion of powerful figures will be quite acceptable to young minds, but many of us "grow out of it". The parables in the Bible are part of our Anglo-European literary culture. It should not ...


12

As an adult who rarely wear socks without shoes I'd say either leave him and at three he'll let you know if it bothers him even if it's indirectly. So long as his body temperature is fine then there's unlikely to be any cause for concern.


12

The boy is clearly trying to figure out adult relationships, and maybe even adult boy-girl relationships. With the dad standing right there, I would smile at the boy and say, “That’s not something your dad and I feel comfortable doing.” If he asks why, or says, “But Daddy kisses Mommy" or "You kiss me,” I would explain that (in our culture) hugs and ...


12

I can't speak to the schooling system in Germany since I live in the US, but I do understand your desires, albeit from the opposite perspective. I am a believer in Jesus Christ and as a father I fear the indoctrination of my son by an atheistic world view. We may desire differing world views for our children but our base desires are the same. Our main goal ...


11

Crying at drop-off and pick-up is more of a separation anxiety issue, and it's totally normal. It has nothing to do with whether she likes daycare. What you really need to know is whether she cries throughout the day, or if the crying is limited to a brief period at drop off and pick up. I used to sneak in to daycare at the end of the day and see my son ...


11

It is very likely that daycare will allow you to bring refrigerated or frozen breast milk and that your partner will be able to pump at work, but it takes dedication and logistics. I will share my experience, as it worked for us and was improved over months of trial/error. I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old. Each day, (after nursing my ...


11

Oh, yes, that's normal for kids who have just started going to school/preschool etc. Quite simply, there are hundreds, if not thousands of cold and flu viruses circulating in society. As adults, we've already built resistance to the many we've encountered over our lifetimes, so we won't be carriers for those germs and pass them on to our kids, because the ...


9

I taught twos, threes and fours for a few years. There isn't a lot you can do about the stuffed toys except put them in the laundry every so often, but here is what I did in my classroom in regard to the plastic stuff. Keep bleach locked away somewhere. At the end of the day put a capfull in a bucket of water and throw in the toys that were licked or ...


9

As the man of the house you sometimes have to make unpopular decisions that are best for the family. If it's the best decision for your family, then that's what it is. Don't feel like a failure, feel like a good father. Plans don't often work out the way they need to, be thankful that you have the means to put your child in nursery, some families cannot and ...


9

I don't know if you have this option but an alternative to nursery is to find a child minder. In the UK we have Ofsted registered childminders who are childcare professionals. Being registered with Ofsted means they are regularly inspected and will have a grading that you can assess them by. Childminders deal with smaller numbers of children (at most 5 or ...


9

I was raised religious and I am now a proud atheist. I would encourage my children to learn all about the christian mindset. There are in fact valuable parables to learn, and I would consider their christian learning one facet of making them well rounded. As an adult, I am far more anti-religious than my wife, but it is funny when she never gets any ...


8

That depends a lot on the daycare and the age of the other kids. Where I live (The Netherlands), maternity leave ends when the baby is 12 weeks old, and then they go to daycare, usually just 2-3 days a week at first. This means that the staff is experienced with babies of this age, and they are well cared for. There is also a rule that in the groups of tiny ...


8

I actually believe he does exist in a way similar to that depicted in the article, "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." So, when my daughter asked about it at five I said, "what do you think" she said, "I think he is real." Two weeks ago when she asked at six and said, "I don't know Mom" I responded by telling her the story of St. Nicholas and fessing ...


8

You will probably be able to provide your own milk. Talk to daycare facilities you're considering and find out their policy. Some include formula and diapers as part of their services, some do not. Ours required parents to bring in the baby's food (whether breastmilk or formula) and stored it in the fridge with the bottle clearly labeled. Even in cases ...


8

18 months later It's been 18 months since I posted this question. In addition to the lovely answers posted above, I wanted to add some extra reading for those parents who find themselves in the same position as we were. In the beginning, I found it torturous leaving our tiny child at nursury. She would cry, and the guilt was terrible (although the ...


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