Hot answers tagged

165

Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions. I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a country that is ...


129

I'm an atheist living in Germany, and had to face similar problems with the surroundings of my daughter (7). One very important lesson that I try to teach her every day is to never blindly believe anything anyone tells her. She should double-check any piece of information, even if it comes from a supposedly reliable source (teacher, her parents, grand-...


82

You (the parent) are responsible for 'indoctrinating' your children Let me tell you what I think, from the complete opposite side. I am a fundamentalist Christian, who has the misfortune of living in Washington DC. Christians who want a Christian education in the large cities of the US sent their kids to a Christian school. But, the one near my house is 14k ...


80

As a 54 year old German I just had "Religion" as a normal subject in our public elementary school. I guess my parents could technically have let me skip these one or two hours per week, but nobody did that back then, and there was no non-religious alternative like "Ethics" or such. Of course the lessons were about Christian religion. I remember them fondly, ...


41

About 25 years ago I was in the same place as you. So here are my observations: At 3 years old it's already too late for kindergarten to persuade your kid that their deity is more real than Santa. Your kid copies you a lot more than you think. Actually they don't try very hard, they all just troop along to church or whatever, sing the songs, decorate for ...


27

This sounds totally inappropriate and a major warning flag. Both my children have been through numerous childcare centres/kindergartens/ELCs and none of them even had a television. The American Academy of Pediatrics have "that parents should limit the amount of time their infants and toddlers spend in front of any sort of screen and reaffirmed earlier ...


21

Offer him a "routine" to give him a sense of control and time to transition. A repeatable routine would give him a chance to smoothly "wrap up" what he is doing mentally and help him switch contexts. Try something along the lines of, "Hi (term of endearment and name) I'm here, you have about 10 minutes to get ready to go. Can you show me what you are ...


17

As a child care provider I found this to be quite common in both the two's classroom and the threes classroom so the information that it "usually ends around two" is not accurate in the reality of my experience. What I would suggest is two fold: Your child does need reassurances from you in your words and behavior. Are you having a hard time with the ...


17

This is something I also struggled with. I have two children: a son, now 14, and a daughter, who'll be 8 at the end of the month. I had custody of my son for the first four years of his life, after which his mother begged me to let her take him back. She actually enrolled him in a private Christian school which he attended for several years. I avoided the ...


17

This is the strategy I took when my daughter had been introduced to Christianity by a kindergarten teacher and begun professing a belief in God. Teach her about many other religions, myths and origin stories. Explain how these stories contradict each other and cannot all be true. Explain my own atheism and why I do not believe in Christianity, and told her ...


16

I think its also proper to set expectations, many 2 year olds while they "play" tend to do so in parallel not with a lot of interaction. So you may want to be careful in what you expect, so you don't see something that is not there. Significant change is also something to aware of, as Torben notes, and will definitely influence young children who have ...


16

Some of the main proponents of attachment theory, which is a theory of how children develop a relationship with their primary caregiver and how that impacts their relationships throughout the rest of their life, are generally opposed to daycare, as described in this article. If you look into attachment theory and daycare you will find more information from ...


15

It is inevitable your child assumes the norms and values from the society he grows up in. If you don't like your environment, your only choice is to put your child in another environment. But norms and values are fundamentally different from taking everything people say for granted, which is something most people learn when they become more self-conscious ...


14

I fear you are worrying too much. I would encourage you to read bedtime stories from Norse mythology, Greek mythology, Aesop's fables, and maybe even Hindu mythology. The notion of powerful figures will be quite acceptable to young minds, but many of us "grow out of it". The parables in the Bible are part of our Anglo-European literary culture. It should not ...


13

You can't .. don't bother trying. I certainly would not delay bringing up concerns in order to spare the feelings of the staff. Who cares if they like you, and if they are nasty to your child you need a new provider anyway. My advice ... 1/ Be courteous and respectful. In fact be overly so. 2/ Focus on the future, not the past. Don't say "I was ...


13

About 1 in 10 children discover masturbation before puberty. And the majority of those discover it in infancy or as toddlers. It is almost never a sign of abuse or sexual misconduct, and there is no research that suggests that this is unhealthy or that it leads to longterm mental or sexual damage of any sort. I know it seems counterintuitive, but it seems to ...


12

As an adult who rarely wear socks without shoes I'd say either leave him and at three he'll let you know if it bothers him even if it's indirectly. So long as his body temperature is fine then there's unlikely to be any cause for concern.


12

The boy is clearly trying to figure out adult relationships, and maybe even adult boy-girl relationships. With the dad standing right there, I would smile at the boy and say, “That’s not something your dad and I feel comfortable doing.” If he asks why, or says, “But Daddy kisses Mommy" or "You kiss me,” I would explain that (in our culture) hugs and ...


12

I can't speak to the schooling system in Germany since I live in the US, but I do understand your desires, albeit from the opposite perspective. I am a believer in Jesus Christ and as a father I fear the indoctrination of my son by an atheistic world view. We may desire differing world views for our children but our base desires are the same. Our main goal ...


11

It is very likely that daycare will allow you to bring refrigerated or frozen breast milk and that your partner will be able to pump at work, but it takes dedication and logistics. I will share my experience, as it worked for us and was improved over months of trial/error. I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old. Each day, (after nursing my ...


11

Oh, yes, that's normal for kids who have just started going to school/preschool etc. Quite simply, there are hundreds, if not thousands of cold and flu viruses circulating in society. As adults, we've already built resistance to the many we've encountered over our lifetimes, so we won't be carriers for those germs and pass them on to our kids, because the ...


10

The distinction here, as you've noticed, is between setting goals and applying pressure. The difference is whether the focus is on the behaviour of your child or of the centre towards your child. From the centre's perspective, I suspect they're simply trying to figure out what you, their clients, want from them. For example, I would like my daughter to be ...


10

I can imagine that he's feeling uneasy at being moved from his grandma and dropped into full-time daycare that abruptly. Usually, you'd start daycare just a few hours a day and gradually increase to full time. I understand that with evebody working full-time as well, it's hard or impossible to provide a transition phase. I think two weeks is not enough ...


10

Crying at drop-off and pick-up is more of a separation anxiety issue, and it's totally normal. It has nothing to do with whether she likes daycare. What you really need to know is whether she cries throughout the day, or if the crying is limited to a brief period at drop off and pick up. I used to sneak in to daycare at the end of the day and see my son ...


9

I taught twos, threes and fours for a few years. There isn't a lot you can do about the stuffed toys except put them in the laundry every so often, but here is what I did in my classroom in regard to the plastic stuff. Keep bleach locked away somewhere. At the end of the day put a capfull in a bucket of water and throw in the toys that were licked or ...


9

As the man of the house you sometimes have to make unpopular decisions that are best for the family. If it's the best decision for your family, then that's what it is. Don't feel like a failure, feel like a good father. Plans don't often work out the way they need to, be thankful that you have the means to put your child in nursery, some families cannot and ...


9

I don't know if you have this option but an alternative to nursery is to find a child minder. In the UK we have Ofsted registered childminders who are childcare professionals. Being registered with Ofsted means they are regularly inspected and will have a grading that you can assess them by. Childminders deal with smaller numbers of children (at most 5 or ...


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