186

DCook's answer is heading in the right direction, but it's at it from the wrong end. Don't ask your daughter if she did something wrong, not because she might lie to you, or she might not lie to you, or whether or not you know the answer. That's all coming from a faulty paradigm: that it's expected for your daughter to tell you the truth when you ask her ...


143

"I don't know why" could mean a number of things: The answer is something that will make my parent annoyed if I'm honest. It's not an outright lie to say "I don't know", but it's a dodge to avoid lying or having to instead confess to something worse. Like, "I didn't pick up my laundry when you asked me to because I was eating a donut after you said not ...


125

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible mistakes. Technically this exactly what cheating is - getting the correct answers from other sources than the own knowledge or conclusions. The standard procedure in ...


111

My daughter, a few years older than yours, is also a skillful liar when she chooses to be. My best advice is "trust but verify." Children are good at knowing what works, and if lying is a reliable, consequence free way of getting what she wants, there's no reason --from her point of view --not to deploy it. (In contrast, my son rarely lies, probably not ...


99

From everything that I can find online, it is a positive thing to show affection in front of your kids. It models affection to your children, and it makes them feel more secure https://www.whattoexpect.com/news/first-year/how-much-pda-okay-front-baby-kids/ My own experience agrees with what I have read. I don't think I ever even saw my father and mother ...


91

I have to challenge your entire premise, which may get this post deleted, but I hope you get a chance to read this before it is deleted. In simple terms this is a case of, Majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors. Focusing on who is right and who is wrong won't solve anything because you will get opinion based answers that ultimately come down to, ...


83

Ask yourself: If you were the teacher, would you rather be warned or find yourself suddenly facing a 2nd grader with a full-blown asthma attack? I don't think your request is unreasonable. And you are not expecting her to watch your son like a hawk, or do something super-taxing, but just to be aware of a special situation. If you phrase your request ...


72

I wore a school uniform (very similar to what you describe) from ages 10 - 17. There were some benefits to it such as not having to waste time figuring out what to wear and not feeling "judged" by my choice of outfit. You seem concerned your 5 yro won't be able to express their individuality. I'd like to argue that uniforms could do the opposite. ...


62

Overly sexual behavior for kids is abnormal and often a sign of sexual abuse. You must seek professional help, and based on its conclusions, you may have to involve the law.


59

Just be truthful. While the details about chemical addiction may fly over a 6 year old's head, the general idea is really not that hard to understand. Tell them that drugs are chemicals that can make people feel really good, but that may be very unhealthy. Fundamentally, it's like candy and sweets, but far more dangerous (the consequences are more than ...


58

First, setting some baselines. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limited, but not zero, screen time for most children above 2. Under 2, and in particular under 18 months, no screen time other than video chat (Facetime/Skype/etc.). For children younger than 18 months, avoid use of screen media other than video-chatting. Parents of children 18 ...


56

I think it's not surprising a seven year old doesn't know exactly why he does what he does. I often don't know why I do things that I know I shouldn't, not really - at least, until I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and I'm old enough that I've got a lot of experience doing that. When I yell at my kids or do something that irritates my wife or fail ...


50

How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? I think a lot of people are equating "discipline" to "punishment", when that isn't necessarily the case. Unfortunately your question doesn't tell us much about your values or parenting style, so I can only provide a few comments and possible directions you might go in. Summary She doesn't know ...


50

Whatever you and your spouse decide to do, please please do not ask your kids to decide who their primary guardian will be or what their living arrangements will be. I found this approach terrible when my parents did it when I was 14 or 15. I strongly feel that this is the reason why I still do not feel emotionally close to them even though they are ...


47

My general approach is that it's not a good idea to hide the world from your children. Of course I wouldn't go into the gruesome details of drug addiction, but my view is that when I explain this to my kids, then it is me who is in control of the narrative. In these cases I try to not "explain" the matter to my children, but to engage them in a conversation....


45

Lots of reasons. Keeps kids on level ground, economically. Uniforms are generally pretty cheap and no one gets ridiculed for their choice of clothes. Keeps kids safe. Have you ever tried to herd a mob of tiny people? It's much easier when they're all wearing the same thing. Has been shown to improve attendance and achievement, reduce violence and gang ...


44

I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you. I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too much.) ...


43

There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind. Where were the parents during the visit? Do they agree with your desire to have authority over the child? Will they be there for this visit? Will there be fallout over your decision? And finally, was the scenario - a 7-year-old sharing toys with a 2-year-old - necessary? (I would think a lot of the 7-year-...


40

It may surprise you to know that you don't know why you did things. Recent research suggests that contrary to the common paradigm of "stimulus -> reason -> plan -> act" that we believe we operate on, it's more of a "stimulus -> response -> justify" loop. That is, we don't think "I want to do X because of Y" and then do X. We do X, then think "I did X because ...


39

If anything I believe it would be positive, although I don't know of any studies on the subject. Children learn how to be adults from the adults around them, so seeing what real romantic relationships are like can only be a good thing. Two caveats: What happens if they copy you while playing house? That should give you a clear idea of where to draw the ...


38

How about trampolining? It's very similar to gymnastics so he can probably use many of the skills he's picked up there. It involves lots of bouncing up and falling back down again as well as moves which involve falling on the front or back. Also a good variation on swimming that might appeal more to his love of falling down is diving. He can do this from ...


38

Well firstly know that despite what people want reality to be, lying is a developmental skill. It needs to happen. You need to learn how to deceive. It's an actual survival skill for humans. I am not suggesting any of us want children to lie to us, but we should be talking facts here, not preferences. There is a plethora of study on this, what age it ...


38

I wouldn't go too hard on him. He is five after all. Going super hard on him now has the potential to just make him stick to his guns in the future about a lie. This sounds like a first mistake. Treat it as such. Let him know that lying to you is not OK and that you hope you foster an environment of honesty (worded to where he can understand). Let him know ...


36

Your kid doesn't understand the difference between this and any other toy because he's sane. It is a toy and almost completely incapable of hurting anyone. He probably has a dozen things in his backpack more dangerous than this toy. It is the adults in the situation that are screwed up, not the kid. He's not supposed to bring toys to school, so his ...


36

I will address only one issue: At roughly what age levels is it appropriate for the kids to have what levels of say in their upbringing? At every age, a child should have a voice about their preferences and should be heard and dealt with respectfully (patience, kindness, consideration.) But from birth, a parent is responsible to do the best for their ...


35

Well, it came from somewhere. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case. Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as suggested in this other answer. What I wanted to add is that in ...


34

It is important to recognize that even though we, as adults, know that there are no such things as ghosts, to the child they are real. And no amount of logic will convince them otherwise. You have to accept, for a while, that what they think is real, is actually real, and then you can deal with making it not scary. So rather than trying to reverse their ...


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