184 votes

If my 5yr old is an exceptional liar, should I expect that she will continue lying as she gets older?

DCook's answer is heading in the right direction, but it's at it from the wrong end. Don't ask your daughter if she did something wrong, not because she might lie to you, or she might not lie to you, ...
  • 58.4k
145 votes

Why don't children know why they do things?

"I don't know why" could mean a number of things: The answer is something that will make my parent annoyed if I'm honest. It's not an outright lie to say "I don't know", but it's a dodge to avoid ...
  • 22.6k
125 votes

How to deal with a 6 year old who was "caught" cheating?

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible ...
  • 17.6k
110 votes
Accepted

If my 5yr old is an exceptional liar, should I expect that she will continue lying as she gets older?

My daughter, a few years older than yours, is also a skillful liar when she chooses to be. My best advice is "trust but verify." Children are good at knowing what works, and if lying is a reliable, ...
100 votes

Is it ok for parents to kiss and romance with each other while their 2- to 8-year-old child watches?

From everything that I can find online, it is a positive thing to show affection in front of your kids. It models affection to your children, and it makes them feel more secure https://www....
90 votes

What's an appropriate age to involve kids in life changing decisions?

I have to challenge your entire premise, which may get this post deleted, but I hope you get a chance to read this before it is deleted. In simple terms this is a case of, Majoring in the minors and ...
  • 3,366
81 votes
Accepted

What can I tell and what can I ask of a 2nd grade teacher, about my child's health?

Ask yourself: If you were the teacher, would you rather be warned or find yourself suddenly facing a 2nd grader with a full-blown asthma attack? I don't think your request is unreasonable. And you ...
  • 17.6k
72 votes
Accepted

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

I wore a school uniform (very similar to what you describe) from ages 10 - 17. There were some benefits to it such as not having to waste time figuring out what to wear and not feeling "judged" by my ...
  • 1,869
60 votes

How to explain intravenous drug abuse to a 6-year-old?

Just be truthful. While the details about chemical addiction may fly over a 6 year old's head, the general idea is really not that hard to understand. Tell them that drugs are chemicals that can make ...
  • 795
59 votes

Why is technology bad for children?

First, setting some baselines. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limited, but not zero, screen time for most children above 2. Under 2, and in particular under 18 months, no screen time ...
  • 58.4k
58 votes

Child refuses to accept being wrong

How are you role modelling this? A lot of grown ups struggle with acknowledging that they've been wrong. Make a point out of telling him about times you've been wrong in the past, and be mindful about ...
  • 10.8k
56 votes

Why don't children know why they do things?

I think it's not surprising a seven year old doesn't know exactly why he does what he does. I often don't know why I do things that I know I shouldn't, not really - at least, until I spend a lot of ...
  • 58.4k
55 votes

How best for a trans and/or non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest ...
  • 58.4k
53 votes

5 yr old's toy taken by a another kid

This is a great teachable moment, both for your daughter and the other child. First - talk with her about the risks of bringing things she cares about to school. I would usually not recommend having ...
  • 58.4k
52 votes

What action should I take upon learning that boys are wolf-whistling girls in my daughter's class?

I agree that 5 yo boys who wolf whistle are probably just proud to show off a skill they've imitated to the level of mastery. They would probably turn a shade of green if they understood all the ...
  • 67.2k
51 votes

What's an appropriate age to involve kids in life changing decisions?

Whatever you and your spouse decide to do, please please do not ask your kids to decide who their primary guardian will be or what their living arrangements will be. I found this approach terrible ...
  • 1,575
51 votes
Accepted

Giving a gift: require that it stays in good condition, or let the child figure it out?

There's a middle ground between requiring the card to be protected, and saying nothing, and that's to inform the child what makes the card special, but then let the child choose what to do with the ...
50 votes

How do I handle a 10 year old girl "in love"?

How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? I think a lot of people are equating "discipline" to "punishment", when that isn't necessarily the case. Unfortunately ...
  • 6,533
46 votes

What's the motivation behind school uniforms {or} Why can't my daughter wear a dang princess on her shirt?

Lots of reasons. Keeps kids on level ground, economically. Uniforms are generally pretty cheap and no one gets ridiculed for their choice of clothes. Keeps kids safe. Have you ever tried to herd a ...
46 votes

How to explain intravenous drug abuse to a 6-year-old?

My general approach is that it's not a good idea to hide the world from your children. Of course I wouldn't go into the gruesome details of drug addiction, but my view is that when I explain this to ...
  • 586
43 votes
Accepted

Do I enforce a punishment/retribution promised some time ago?

There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind. Where were the parents during the visit? Do they agree with your desire to have authority over the child? Will they be there for this visit? Will ...
  • 67.2k
41 votes
Accepted

Teaching a 7yo responsibility for his choices

Sounds to me that you are teaching him responsibility for his choices. You let him make a choice, and then let him bear the consequences of that choice. It won't be instant that he stops complaining ...
  • 58.4k
40 votes
Accepted

Five year old lying

I wouldn't go too hard on him. He is five after all. Going super hard on him now has the potential to just make him stick to his guns in the future about a lie. This sounds like a first mistake. Treat ...
40 votes

Why don't children know why they do things?

It may surprise you to know that you don't know why you did things. Recent research suggests that contrary to the common paradigm of "stimulus -> reason -> plan -> act" that we believe we operate on, ...
  • 501
40 votes
Accepted

How to stop my 6 year-old son from running away and crying when faced with a homework challenge?

Find out why The first thing to do is to find out why he's running away and crying. I am deeply concerned that no-one in your family has apparently even thought to ask him that. If you had, then I ...
  • 2,649
40 votes

Giving a gift: require that it stays in good condition, or let the child figure it out?

Buy him a set of sleeves. Sleeves for trading cards are cheap, and basically every adult who plays trading card games uses them - and when decks for these games can cost hundreds of dollars, they have ...
39 votes

If my 5yr old is an exceptional liar, should I expect that she will continue lying as she gets older?

Well firstly know that despite what people want reality to be, lying is a developmental skill. It needs to happen. You need to learn how to deceive. It's an actual survival skill for humans. I am ...
  • 7,310
38 votes

9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?

Your kid doesn't understand the difference between this and any other toy because he's sane. It is a toy and almost completely incapable of hurting anyone. He probably has a dozen things in his ...
  • 6,240
38 votes

Is it ok for parents to kiss and romance with each other while their 2- to 8-year-old child watches?

If anything I believe it would be positive, although I don't know of any studies on the subject. Children learn how to be adults from the adults around them, so seeing what real romantic relationships ...
  • 9,387

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