81

Children learn how to do things by imitating, so much of this is simple curiosity. ("How does the milk go in the bottle? Does it happen the same way every time? WOW.") But toddlers also start to realize they are independent and have some control over their world. I wouldn't perceive this as a lack of trust, necessarily. Rather, he is checking that you ...


55

To rephrase the question you're saying you have a conflicting view with other parents on how their children should be raised and feel it's your place to pass judgement upon them or to change their ways somehow. It is not your place to do either, don't even try. Talk to them about how happy your child is, ask them about decisions they've made and look for ...


49

I think that having a lot of things for your baby or kid is not a good thing, like toys or any other distraction (ipad, presents, bad food with sugar). This could create a behavior of only doing minimal effort to get what you want in life. Hold on, these are not all correlated to behavior. If you don't want your kid to play on an iPad, don't give them an ...


44

I cannot really give first-hand advice, never having been in a similar situation. However, I would think the basic approach should be the same as for an adopted child. Basically: don't push information on the child she is not ready to handle, but don't make it a secret either There are multiple questions about how to handle adoption on this site, for ...


42

I take what I consider to be a pragmatic approach: if there is no toy which is obviously a gun, kids just make their own (60-80% of boys, 30% of girls, play with "aggressive toys" of some variety). Fingers, sticks, coat hangers (which double as pretty decent fighter planes and space ships, IMHO), pencils/pens, cardboard tubes (packing tubes make great ...


37

Hamad, I think that many children around the world sleep in the same room as their parents -- some for most of their lives. Most of these will/have become perfectly normal, healthy adults. I'd say it is up to you. I think you can research co-sleeping, sleep sharing or family bed to help you make an informed decision. Link -- here is one article from Parents


36

Explaining the reason tasks are required will help the child gain an understanding of tasks. It is developmentally important that children understand tasks - what we are doing and why so as they get older, they can reason through tasks themselves. However, bargaining, while tempting, sets a precedence of ever heightening "price" for compliance. This teaches ...


35

There isn't a cut and dry answer to this. Both are important. And part of parenting is striking the right balance there. Given your situations above: Baby wants to be held to sleep: well, keeping the baby happy here is important, both for her to be able to sleep (which will help her be healthy) and for your sanity. But at the same time, if you never ...


34

My approach is not much different than what I'd suggest for plain vanilla everyday families: Why not supplement the biology part with a discussion of what makes a father a father or the fundamental difference between producing and raising a child? IMHO, every child's education on sex should include these aspects. We want to raise responsible adults, not ...


31

I teach my children when they ask Why about an instruction, that I will explain why AFTER they follow the instructions, in this way they learn to follow the instruction and get to know why.


30

I think it depends more on the attitude of the parents and the child's disposition and age than on the actual witnessing (and maybe, how kinky things were when the viewing took place). I didn't find any online aricles with a scientific study on the matter or anything (how would you even go about a study like that really?) but I did find This article which ...


28

The root cause of your child's frustration is expecting to make complex things perfectly without a long process of trial and error. I suggest that the best long-term solution is to offer the child a more realistic version of what to expect on the path to mastery of most skills. All of the attempts to logically persuade the child are best done in the "cold" ...


27

Most parents try to do it that way when they can. The main thing you're missing is that children live in the moment, to a much larger degree than most adults realize until they have kids of their own. The further removed the consequence is from the decision, the less influence it has on their next decision. For your bedtime example, it would take a ...


27

Your second wife is your daughter's mom. She's all that your daughter has ever known. She's just 3 years old, and this stability (mom & you) is important to her. You don't have to be the biological mother to be a mom to a child. We had some family skeletons that we disclosed to our daughter in part when she was about 12/13. At that point, she was ...


26

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


23

Great question! I don't have personal experience with this one, but have had a number of close friends who are gay. I think every one of them would agree with me when I say, Handle it the same way you would if it was a boy - almost. First, from the way you've worded the question, it seems you don't believe she should be having a highly sexual discourse (...


22

My biological father died when i was an infant, and my mom remarried before I knew any difference. They told me about this when I was somewhere between 6 and 8 years old. I might even have started to suspect something, since my new dad is a very big man and so was my little brother, but I am a smaller guy (even at that age you can notice, and the adults who ...


21

I can't think of any risk in this normal behavior (yes, this qualifies as normal) in a normal baby (contrast this to children who engage in abnormal activity, e.g. head-banging, who are putting themselves at risk). If anything, your grandson is showing good strength in his legs, good balance (he's not falling over with movement), and good large-motor ...


21

No, on the contrary there is even an indication that this reduces stress for your child. This study on co-sleeping in 101 infants concludes: At 5 weeks and 6 months, the long-term co-sleeping infants differed significantly from the non-co-sleepers on a number of measures: At 5 weeks, they showed more quiet sleep and longer bouts of quiet sleep; and at 6 ...


20

Dropping things over and over again is a known phase. It's a great learning opportunity. You can choose what message to send your toddler and what you want to teach. For example, you might take them out of the highchair the minute they drop anything. Generally, parents who adopt this rule come to regret it, because the minute the child wants out of the ...


20

I think you're being wise here. Acknowledge your son's true feelings of love and admiration for his playmate. But to have him express these feelings might cause some discomfort in someone in whom the feelings aren't reciprocated. As he has asked what he should do, you are giving him good advice. I would explain the consequences you mention in a gentle and ...


20

At that age, there are pros and cons to having lots of toys, generally they're very superficial. For example: Pro: Very easily bored baby has lots of variety Con: Parents have lots of picking up to do If you don't want your child to "have" lots of toys but feel bad getting rid of gifts from grandma, find a place to store them that they don't know ...


19

I believe this question, the related question, and all the answers I have read are missing the point a game ought to have. Where the game is not almost exclusively chance (those that are, are irrelevant to the question at hand), the point really is not if one wins or loses -- the point is to learn strategies. The type of strategy is dependent upon the ...


19

Honesty about a learning disability is important for helping the child cope with it. They know if their grades aren't as good, or they can't remember the words, or it's harder for them to read — absent any information to the contrary, they may simply conclude that they're stupid or worthless and therefore just stop trying. Parents and teachers can provide ...


19

A little about myself... My Mom married my Dad when I was 5. At 12, she revealed to me that he wasn't my biological father. It was absolutely traumatic and devastating. It felt like my life was a lie. It felt like I was a lie, a fake, a sham of a person. No young person should ever have to feel this way. If you tell your child the truth now, while they're ...


19

If you're aware of the mistakes, and conscious of when you make them, that's a big step already. The next step is to develop alternatives, and have them ready, so that as soon as you recognize a behaviour that you don't want to be doing, you pull out the alternative. Let's say your parents always smacked you on the cheek when you did something wrong. ...


18

To quote from The Future of Play Theory: A Multidisciplinary Inquiry into the Contributions of Brian Sutton-Smith: Findings from studies of war toys are diverse, if sparse. War toys have been found to enhance aggression (Sanson and Di Muccio, 1993; Turner and Goldsmith, 1976; Watson and Peng, 1992) reduce aggression (Bonte and Musgrove, 1943; ...


18

I think you are falling into the trap that so many parents (including myself sometimes) get into, which is trying to win. You aren't engaging in a shouting match (which is to be commended), however you are engaging in a battle of wills with the strong eye contact and body language. You both see it as a contest, and a contest must have a victor. It's the same ...


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