58 votes

My 2 year old is a bully!

Welcome to the "Terrible Two's"! Your son behaves typically for his age. At 2 he starts to assert himself and express his demands. It's likely that he has also learned that he gets his way when he ...
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  • 17.6k
56 votes
Accepted

Why is my child so scared of strangers? Is it nature or nurture?

From your description, it does not sound like your son has an irrational fear of strangers. He may simply hate being picked up by them, and have learned that this is a plausible outcome of strangers ...
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  • 1,524
54 votes

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as Don’t do it when [some else with more power] ...
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  • 17.6k
50 votes

How do I handle a 10 year old girl "in love"?

How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? I think a lot of people are equating "discipline" to "punishment", when that isn't necessarily the case. Unfortunately ...
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  • 6,533
44 votes
Accepted

7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?

As someone with mild Asperger's, I think I can shed some insight onto this situation. Let's look at what happened, as well as giving some ways to prevent this type of behavior in the future. The ...
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  • 705
41 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party. This is a good outcome and ...
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  • 6,642
37 votes

8-year-old daughter is obsessed with books - escaping from something?

Hmm, apparently my eight year old has a twin sister nobody told me about! Basically everything up there would word for word work to describe him. This is totally normal at this age. It's hard to ...
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  • 57.4k
35 votes

Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?

Whether she realises it consciously or not, she is directly undermining and interfering with your ability to parent your children. She is not their parent, nor their legal guardian, and has no right ...
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  • 755
32 votes

How do I handle a 10 year old girl "in love"?

I just found out that my daughter wrote in her diary... How did you find that out? Did she tell you it was written in there? Did you read it when she expects it to not be read? If you allow your ...
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  • 1,722
27 votes

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

Something that hasn't been addressed is why the child is kicking the dinosaur. They are bored with the park or this exhibit ("Hey, don't damage the exhibits. If you're bored let's go and see the ...
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26 votes

How do I handle a 10 year old girl "in love"?

There is not very much detail here and so it makes it difficult to know exactly why you're worried about this situation. In general, I would not worry. [If it turns out that the boy in question is (a)...
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  • 22.5k
22 votes

How should parents handle dominant behaviour of toddler towards other children?

When a child does something that makes another child feel bad, whether violence or just selfish behavior (which is basically what you're describing), my go-to at any age is to show the child how the ...
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  • 57.4k
21 votes

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

I meet people at local meetups. Where I live there are about three Python meetups a month. My experiences have been great: excellent programmers who just like to talk shop. While you will likely meet ...
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  • 309
21 votes
Accepted

How to help my 5-year-old when other children don't want to play with him?

My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis. These are some things we found to help: First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of ...
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21 votes

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

Just to add to what other posters have said, this can be a good time to give a child a lesson in empathy as well. Something like "Well, that dinosaur belongs to someone. Would you like it if ...
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  • 311
20 votes
Accepted

My 7-year-old is "in love" with a girl in his class. How should I deal with this?

I think you're being wise here. Acknowledge your son's true feelings of love and admiration for his playmate. But to have him express these feelings might cause some discomfort in someone in whom the ...
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  • 66.7k
18 votes

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

Quietly and politely, tell the child to please not kick the dino and give the best possible (age-appropriate) reason. Something like "Please don't kick the dino. The dinos in the park are not for ...
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17 votes

Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?

shouts at me in front of them... Ask her to leave. Don't even wait for your wife to get home. It's healthy for your children to see how you're able to handle such situations with cool and ...
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15 votes

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

I'm 15, and I had this same problem about a year ago. There's an awesome community called HS Hackers on Facebook. To call it lifechanging would be a gross understatement. Hackathons are the best way ...
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15 votes

7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?

Your child may not realize that what they did was wrong, but if you don't teach them that taking things belonging to others is wrong, they won't learn (others might assume they've learnt that at home),...
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  • 66.7k
15 votes

How should parents handle dominant behaviour of toddler towards other children?

This feels like very normal behaviour for an only child of 17 months; and the paediatrician is right that socialisation will solve most of the issues. That said, you're the parents, so while it's the ...
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  • 10.2k
14 votes
Accepted

Is a small kindergarten class a problem?

At the age you're talking about, teacher:student ratio seems more important than student count. If the larger class you're looking at has a poorer ratio, I wouldn't choose that (absent other reasons ...
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  • 57.4k
14 votes

What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?

Welcome to adolescence. It's really hard. If you ask her when she is calm why she does what she does, I'd be surprised if she has a real answer. Hormones make life hell for teens. It's as bad or worse ...
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  • 17.4k
14 votes

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can ...
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  • 321
13 votes
Accepted

How do I accustom my students to interact with children of a higher economic class?

I grew up relatively poor and went to one of the worst high schools in my city, with a large minority population. I didn't realize it at the time, because I enjoyed the essence of white privilege, ...
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13 votes
Accepted

How can I get involved in the parenting of my girlfriend's sister's 5-year-old who spends too much time on screens etc.?

You are too involved. She is not your child, the mother is not your sister, you aren’t an experienced parent yourself - you have no authority or bearing here. It’s excruciating to watch someone parent ...
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  • 654
12 votes

Kids do not want to play with my daughter

This is a very distressing problem to encounter. Unfortunately kids can be kind of cruel, and traits like sweet and nice unfortunately don't necessarily make a child popular. Trying to get other kids ...
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