85
votes
Accepted
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
I don't know what culture you are coming from, but in the U.S., a birthday celebration is for the celebrant more than it is for the attendees. From that point of view, it would be pretty lousy to ...
- 1,972
56
votes
Accepted
Why is my child so scared of strangers? Is it nature or nurture?
From your description, it does not sound like your son has an irrational fear of strangers. He may simply hate being picked up by them, and have learned that this is a plausible outcome of strangers ...
- 3,012
54
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as
Don’t do it when [some else with more power] ...
- 18.2k
44
votes
Accepted
7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?
As someone with mild Asperger's, I think I can shed some insight onto this situation. Let's look at what happened, as well as giving some ways to prevent this type of behavior in the future.
The ...
- 705
43
votes
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
Who are you celebrating for?
If you're celebrating for yourself, then ... go do that. Go to a nice restaurant and give yourself a nice dinner to congratulate yourself for raising a child to 13 (and ...
- 61.8k
42
votes
Accepted
How can I handle kids telling me extremely boring stuff?
To some degree, kids need you to act interested when you aren't; you can't fully avoid their 'boring' talk without it leaving them feeling unheard or unappreciated. There have already been two great ...
- 3,886
41
votes
Accepted
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party.
This is a good outcome and ...
- 7,204
37
votes
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
This could have been me, 45 years ago - I never liked the birthday celebrations my parents held for me (though I'd never have dared to tell my parents so), and when I was invited to other kid's ...
- 531
36
votes
8-year-old daughter is obsessed with books - escaping from something?
Hmm, apparently my eight year old has a twin sister nobody told me about! Basically everything up there would word for word work to describe him.
This is totally normal at this age. It's hard to ...
- 61.8k
35
votes
How can I handle kids telling me extremely boring stuff?
You don't have to be interested in the subject. Nobody is interested in everything in a conversation. But if you back up a level and think about teaching your kids how to interact with people, that ...
- 1,972
31
votes
How can I handle kids telling me extremely boring stuff?
First: show an interest, but do it authentically, when you can. Listen to their conversation about Minecraft, and listen well enough that you can ask intelligent questions. This is a useful skill ...
- 61.8k
27
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Something that hasn't been addressed is why the child is kicking the dinosaur.
They are bored with the park or this exhibit ("Hey, don't damage the exhibits. If you're bored let's go and see the ...
- 1,402
25
votes
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
You stated that "we find ourselves in a difficult situation". Why is this difficult for you? Your son has made it abundantly clear to you. In your own words, "he resents the idea of ...
23
votes
How can I handle kids telling me extremely boring stuff?
This might help you. Or not, but it doesn't hurt to try:
See if you can change your mindset.
You don't have to listen to your kids talk about their current favourite thing. You get to listen to them ...
- 331
22
votes
How should parents handle dominant behaviour of toddler towards other children?
When a child does something that makes another child feel bad, whether violence or just selfish behavior (which is basically what you're describing), my go-to at any age is to show the child how the ...
- 61.8k
21
votes
Accepted
How to help my 5-year-old when other children don't want to play with him?
My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis. These are some things we found to help:
First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of ...
- 36k
21
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Just to add to what other posters have said, this can be a good time to give a child a lesson in empathy as well. Something like "Well, that dinosaur belongs to someone. Would you like it if ...
- 311
20
votes
My son refuses to celebrate. What should parents do?
I am an introvert. One of the symptoms is that I dislike celebrations, my own as well as others'. Ask him if he would like to celebrate with his radio friends and what kind of celebration he would ...
- 301
18
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Quietly and politely, tell the child to please not kick the dino and give the best possible (age-appropriate) reason. Something like "Please don't kick the dino. The dinos in the park are not for ...
- 5,158
15
votes
7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?
Your child may not realize that what they did was wrong, but if you don't teach them that taking things belonging to others is wrong, they won't learn (others might assume they've learnt that at home),...
- 69.8k
15
votes
How should parents handle dominant behaviour of toddler towards other children?
This feels like very normal behaviour for an only child of 17 months; and the paediatrician is right that socialisation will solve most of the issues.
That said, you're the parents, so while it's the ...
- 10.3k
14
votes
Accepted
Is a small kindergarten class a problem?
At the age you're talking about, teacher:student ratio seems more important than student count. If the larger class you're looking at has a poorer ratio, I wouldn't choose that (absent other reasons ...
- 61.8k
14
votes
What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?
Welcome to adolescence. It's really hard. If you ask her when she is calm why she does what she does, I'd be surprised if she has a real answer. Hormones make life hell for teens. It's as bad or worse ...
- 17.5k
14
votes
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can ...
- 321
13
votes
Accepted
How can I get involved in the parenting of my girlfriend's sister's 5-year-old who spends too much time on screens etc.?
You are too involved. She is not your child, the mother is not your sister, you aren’t an experienced parent yourself - you have no authority or bearing here. It’s excruciating to watch someone parent ...
- 664
12
votes
Kids do not want to play with my daughter
This is a very distressing problem to encounter. Unfortunately kids can be kind of cruel, and traits like sweet and nice unfortunately don't necessarily make a child popular.
Trying to get other kids ...
- 3,775
11
votes
Accepted
How to explain to a toddler why she doesn't have siblings?
If it makes you feel any better to know this, kids with siblings ask this. In fact I recently had my nearly 8 year inform me that he is ready for another sibling in about a year, for what reason, I ...
- 7,330
11
votes
My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job
All the things that you mention seem fairly minor. My husband picks off the pizza toppings that he doesn't like. There's nothing childish about not liking a particular food. Labeling this as "...
- 8,987
11
votes
How can I handle kids telling me extremely boring stuff?
I had the same issue: Even though I have played Minecraft myself and actually introduced my then 6-year-old to it, I wasn't that interested in the intricate details of his farming mechanisms 5 years ...
- 1,981
10
votes
What to do about my 12-year-old son who doesn't show interest in anything?
In a comment, you mentioned that he likes to cook. I would take advantage of this(not in a "you're cooking all the meals" kind of way). If you haven't already done so, invite him to help with fixing ...
- 528
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible