Hot answers tagged

207

Using tools is not based on age, but instead on maturity and training. My 9-year-old has his own toolkit. There is a screwdriver, hammer, saw, and a couple other things that are his. He needs to ask permission before "fixing" or building anything (largely to ensure it's not something I particularly want to keep in one piece). However, as we work together ...


153

I suggest you invite the guy out for a beer to get to know him. Make it clear that you are not jealous, that you wish them well, and that the only thing you care about his how he treats your daughter and her mother. Your concern for her mother is exactly that, concern for your daughter's mother. Not concern for your ex. There's a lot of crappy stuff in ...


137

Either you go with her, or she doesn't go. I'm not really sure what the correct answer is, but I can tell you that letting her go alone is the wrong answer. She might not even make it to her "friend" before being picked up / coerced by someone else. Please do not let her go alone. If she does go, please follow her even without her permission. It might ...


128

Since you're talking about church, I take it religious beliefs should be on topic here. There are two commandments that supersede (and contain) all the others. One of them is You shall love your neighbor as yourself. If you have not put yourself in the shoes of the other parents, their children, and the nursery staff, that is where you should start. ...


127

You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her. However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend's child only came out to her 5 days ago. For 14 years, her child has been her son. She has imagined a life far into the future with and for her ...


124

Ok, deleting wouldn't do anything. Keeping her activities in secret, is a clear sign to me, that she thinks that you will just be unreasonably forbidding her to do anything in that direction. If you now do that, you just prove her right as well as increasing the distance between you two at least in this aspect. Also you won't stop her from recreating ...


108

The previous replies do not address the worry about the identity of the girl in CA. One suggestion is to tell your daughter that you and your wife need to talk to the girl in CA via Skype. You can talk about how long the trip will likely be, what they plan to do, and get to know the girl by asking what she does. Maybe even talk to an adult in her life (and ...


91

The way I see it there are two possibilities, either the story is true or it is not true. And in both cases your daughter needs your help. If you manage to prevent your daughter from going to see this friend and thus she never learns if all she was told was true or not, she is likely going to keep thinking it was all true and blame you that she lost this ...


86

The center position is the safest for a car seat. Not only is that somewhat logical (regardless of what side the car is impacted, there's distance between impact and child), but it is supported by research. That same study also indicates there was no statistically significant difference in the injury risk between the two sides of the car, only between the ...


79

Zero distance in someone’s lap. In an accident baby will become a missile and escape the grip... If the baby is in a properly installed, rated car seat then fine, otherwise how would many parents get babies out of hospital? Make the baby comfortable, have sufficient food, stop for breaks as necessary. Natural is easiest... otherwise you need warm water ...


73

Summary Grapes are round and larger than a child's airway and may lead to occlusion. Food with a smooth, deformable surface can form a tight seal. Grapes are "the third most common cause of food-related fatal choking episodes". Children below 5 years of age don't chew as good yet. Grapes should be cut up for children. This is mostly about grapes, not ...


71

I would say that 15 is plenty old enough to use a screwdriver or drill or hacksaw. For reference, in my boy scout troop, nearly every boy earned a Whittling Chip (even if they had already earned in Cub Scouts, we had them earn it again) within their first year (so 12 years old or so), which gave the right to carry and use pocket knives. Generally a year or ...


64

Frist, it's helpful to be clear about what your goals as a parent are. For us, it's always been "help our kids to turn into independent, happy and responsible adults". Don't get stuck on "need to protect them and keep them safe", they need to learn how to do this themselves. In order to become independent kids, need to be able to try things on their own. ...


61

How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]? You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue if you do not somehow figure out how to support both parent and child. Given that you are not Emily's father, nor her mother's husband, you have absolutely no ...


51

Although it is always wise to be cautious about the safety of your young child, in general it is developmentally normal and natural (and not at all sexual in the adult sense) for a three year old to touch or play with his private parts. It's generally a matter of curiosity, and perhaps increased access if he is recently out of diapers. Adult strong reactions ...


46

Just find a way to block the internet in the wee hours in the morning. The taking to strangers, sharing personal info etc. is not so egregious and at 15 especially your daughter is not at risk. As long as you communicate with her consistently and let her know she is safe to tell you anything, you should be able to trust that she'll let you know if any ...


44

I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you. I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too much.) ...


44

This weird stage is really common, and mostly developmental-- something that most babies will naturally outgrow. It's upsetting and gross, but not harmful. The baby won't actually choke or cause injury by occasionally over inserting fingers in the mouth. My son did it for a couple weeks at about that age, and it's recently had a brief resurgence (age 2)....


40

This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here. The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just doesn't really go away. At 14 you already knew at 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13, every day. Yes, Emily thinks about this at least as often as any teenage ...


39

This is a very subjective question; a lot depends on your daughter's understanding of the world and her ability to police herself. This will most likely be an unpopular answer, but I'm going to give it anyway. I'll address all your points. First, the language. You admit you did it as a teen. The language is much fouler now, so hold her to the same standards ...


38

As mentioned, a baby should never travel in the car by anything but a child seat that is properly installed (preferably rear-facing). Do not take them out of the seat for any reason while driving: Not to feed, not to console them, not for anything but extreme situations. Always pull over first or find a parking spot. Accidents only require a fraction of a ...


37

If it is of that much concern to you then the simple answer is: Yes - you should have it as a requirement of the job, either that they already hold a CPR training certificate, or that they will be willing to sit it. But remember, most parents get no training in CPR and manage just fine, so your expectations of a babysitter may need to be tempered a little. ...


34

It's fine to 'poke' the outside of the baby bump. In fact it's the first 'game' you can play with your little one. :) Is it okay to poke my pregnant belly? Sure… if that’s what you want to do. It might seem weird at first, since baby is so small and still developing. But your baby is incredibly well cushioned in there. Remember, she’s floating in a sac of ...


32

Warning harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation step-daughter ... my girlfriend I assume you mean your girlfriends child, over whom you have no legal guardian status. 14 year old ... it ended with Emily going to her room and refusing to come out The child ...


31

I think you are reading too much into it. Your three-your-old calmed herself down and contented herself with quiet play instead of napping. She is playing with dolls because that's what many three-year-olds do. And while she wasn't napping, she was having quiet play which is a restful alternative. The ability to entertain oneself is an important life skill!


30

Travelling with newborns is not the safest option, but it can be done: Carrying the baby in your wife's (or anybody else's) lap should be avoided at all costs. If you e.g. brake just a bit harder than usual, the baby could slip from the lap and get hit in the head etc. Get yourself a proper baby seat. It doesn't need to be expensive or new, but it needs to ...


29

I think Warren Dew offers a good answer there, but if I were in your position I'd want to let my kid immediately that I know about it, that I accept it and that it will never change my love for them (since I think this addresses her no.1 fear about sharing the information with you). Now, if you don't want to be overtly blunt, when you two are on your own you ...


27

Those providing child minding services have a duty of care to all the children in their charge. It is entirely reasonable that any child pushing or pulling the hair of another child be removed from that environment. Hopefully this phase will not last long. In the mean time, consider that your child needs to learn how to appropriately interact with other ...


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