51 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

You bring up many points that show that your relationship with your kid is not the best at the moment. But I'd like to focus on your kid presumably being trans. It isn't a trend Yes, there are more ...
Jan Niklas Fingerle's user avatar
40 votes
Accepted

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

Give the child an advance warning about the upcoming transition (as mentioned in the answer by Roger Vadim), perhaps even several advance warnings. For example: "We will need to go home in 10 ...
Timur Shtatland's user avatar
23 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

I would suggest going carefully – the worst thing you could do is hurt your child or your relationship with them. Make sure that whatever you do is something that makes them feel loved and listened to....
Numeri's user avatar
  • 310
17 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

Surgery sound scary, but it's not like on TV: you can't simply walk in and get surgery. Surgeons need to follow the WPATH Standards of Care (pdf) at the bare minimum. To my knowledge, all forms of ...
Rebecca J. Stones's user avatar
15 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

What ever happens, make sure she has gender dysphoria. Transitioning without dysphoria is a massive mistake, and most realize this sooner or later. If she actually is transgender, then transitioning ...
Danny's user avatar
  • 275
9 votes

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

One approach is to tell that you are going to change the activity a bit in advance, letting the child to digest the idea. E.g., you say that you finish in five minutes, or that you read just the one ...
Roger V.'s user avatar
  • 781
7 votes

17 year old son decided he is a girl but previous to coming out has never shown signs of feminine behavior

Take them to see psychologist. You're not a psychologist, and neither is anyone here - and even if we were, we wouldn't be able to diagnose your child from a brief post on the internet. However, a ...
nick012000's user avatar
6 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

This is not a full answer, more some advice. You say your daughter has some social anxiety (quite normal, certainly at that age) and that you work a lot. Is it possible she spends a lot of time alone ...
Ivana's user avatar
  • 1,421
6 votes

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

In addition to the great accepted answer, you can in addition try to 'make closure' with the activity. This depends strongly on the activity, but finding some way with the kid to complete the activity....
lalala's user avatar
  • 204
5 votes

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

Try asking them about the activity they just did - what they did, what they liked about it, what they could try next time. Give them a chance to process and "chew their food", so to speak. ...
magarnicle's user avatar
5 votes
Accepted

My Daughter Has Claimed to Change Gender, How Do I Address This As a Father

If you believe outside influences are contributing to this situation, first remove said influences. Restrict, or eliminate social media. Does she have a smartphone? Remove it. Facebook account? ...
Mike Petri's user avatar
5 votes

Explaining a quick & unforeseen daycare change

After Christmas, (if you celebrate it), I'd set the stage. It seems you might want to give him more time than I suggested in my comment. Perhaps find a book like one of these and give it to him after ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
5 votes

What is the most gentle way to break an association in a 15 months old?

Well at this age separation anxiety is rather high & nothing to be unduly concerned about , regardless of how hard it is to get through. If the care provider allows it, perhaps just videotape ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
4 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

You should think more about spongebob squarepants, and less about transgender surgery costs. It is a trend and an emerging science Link to Google Ngram Viewer It is both a trend in human history and ...
bandybabboon's user avatar
4 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

Really, you don't know. Maybe he really is a boy, maybe she's just acting up for whatever reason. But in one case refusing to go along can have lasting consequences on his well-being, while in the ...
jcaron's user avatar
  • 140
3 votes

What is the most gentle way to break an association in a 15 months old?

I don't think you need to worry about negative associations. Children this young tend to live in the moment, Their quick to be upset but just as quick to forgive and forget. Your daughter has likely ...
dsollen's user avatar
  • 3,904
3 votes

Explaining a quick & unforeseen daycare change

As you noted, kids preschool age have limited ability to process. They are "concrete" thinkers. They may have a motherly attachment to your provider, but in the end, she's just a friend. At this age, ...
Stu W's user avatar
  • 2,128
2 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

Although some people might indeed be "trapped into the wrong body" I also think the obsessive attention about this topic nowadays just talks (young) people into problems they don't actually ...
thieupepijn's user avatar
2 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

This site should be about parenting, not about transgender issues, so I'll leave that outside. Your child is either a transgender boy, or a stroppy teenager who loves upsetting her mom and seems to be ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 1,537
2 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

I think if there's one thing that everyone on all sides of the transgender debate agree on, it's that surgery is a big and an irreversible step, and therefore shouldn't be rushed into. Similar to you, ...
Chris Sunami's user avatar
  • 6,183
2 votes

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

This goes a bit against common advice but it's something I have had good success with: Be honest. Enforce only things that need to be enforced. That is, if it's really not necessary to leave now let ...
Peter - Reinstate Monica's user avatar
1 vote

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

In our household, the letting the kids know in advance approach works fairly well. When they're very engaged in something, and the deadline is in 10 minutes, I usually give several 'heads-up' ...
TomEberhard's user avatar
1 vote

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

Tantrums are often a means of trying to regain control of a situation. Your child was doing something they enjoyed and then the decision to continue was taken away from them. When my son (2.5) first ...
denialanderror's user avatar
1 vote

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

There has been a rapid uptick in the number of teen girls who come out as trans. These girls most often have a high social media usage, have some form of autism or other mental health issue and often ...
Subbies's user avatar
  • 129

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