Hot answers tagged

106

Kids that age learn a lot by imaginative play. It's how they make sense of the world and experiment with different responses to events. Pretending to be an adult is very common. Playing along is a good opportunity to show empathy and teach better responses. You might say, I'm Eric. I'm sad because I couldn't find my toy. I wonder if I should cry or ask ...


80

Babies cry. Maybe it helps to know what an infant's 'normal" crying pattern is. Fuss/cry durations peak in the first 2 months (peaking average: 6 weeks), are highest in evenings, and decrease approximately 50% by 12 weeks of age. So, the first two months are the worst. Also, not all infants are alike; some are very compliant, some are very persistent, and ...


59

Your daughter is exhibiting self-soothing behavior, usually more pronounced when the child is tired or falling asleep. From the AAP's healthychildren.org page on common childhood habits: Their repetitive nature suggests that they serve a soothing or calming process for the brain. Interestingly, even in adulthood many people cling to some of these self-...


54

If you want to do what is best for your baby, then you should be talking to her pretty much all the time, except when she's asleep. So yes, talk to her when she cries; your voices will let her know she's being heard. Please know that she heard you talking when she was in your uterus. Although the sound is a bit different now, the cadence, rhythm, etc., are ...


52

This is a difficult problem for parents because we hate making our children cry, but it seems to me that you use 'the naughty place' / timeout and that can be effective. I don't call it 'the naughty place'. As difficult as it is when your child cries, sometimes it is your job to be firm. At two, she is trying to assert herself. This is a normal part of ...


46

Babies are not good at figuring out what is bothering them -- simply that something is. Being tired, in particular, leads to a general crankiness that is difficult to alleviate. Since your son doesn't really understand that simply falling asleep will help him feel better if he's tired, he starts "complaining" in general. I am unhappy. It must be the way I'...


35

You can not spoil a young baby. Being born is a very discomforting experience: the world is cold and full of harsh lights and loud noises. The only comfort you know as a baby is being fed or cuddled. Also, when babies grow older and develop, they discover new things all the time, which they do not understand and might confuse them, also leading to ...


27

It tells just how much he sees you as role model. Instead of seeing this as abnormal you should be the role model he deserves. Other than that do understand that this behaviour will stop after some time. You only need to worry if this does not stop and causes complications. Hope I helped. P.S.: When I was a child I used to wear my father's army uniform. ...


25

First of all, to kids that age it's all "big stuff." It makes them sad to not get their way, and crying is how they express their sadness. If I suddenly discovered a way to make my children not want to cry in the first place, I don't think I would use it. That being said, at best crying forces everyone around you to give excessive attention to you and ...


24

You need air to pass over your vocal cords for vocalizations like an infants cry to start. However, it has been observed that fetuses in the womb will make crying-like movements with their mouths, so they're certainly practicing in utero for blasting our eardrums when they arrive.


23

I just want to share a slightly different perspective on this one. I totally agree with Karl that its "all big stuff" and that handling things "the nice way" is usually going to work best for you. However, I want to offer a perspective I don't already see here: For any social human (which is really all of us) a big part of our psychological validation ...


20

There's a lot of research about fighting in front of your children, but I couldn't find anything particular to crying. I think in general expressing emotions is a good thing. I've even found it useful at times to exaggerate my emotion to kids too young to pick up on subtle facial cues. It helps teach them to act with empathy. For example, a two year-old ...


19

A one year child, while quite active with the hands and legs, is in the discovery phase, everything is new and exciting. Putting things in the mouth or feeling crevices through is their way of experiencing their world. At the same time, they are definitely aware of when their parents are happy with them and when they are not. They also try to take actions ...


19

One of the main reasons a newborn (particularly such a new newborn!) dislikes diaper changes is the fact that they're cold. Really cold. Normally they have this nice warm layer on them that keeps them warm and cozy, and you're ripping that off of them with nary a care for their ... well, I'm sure that's what the newborn thinks, anyway. To avoid this, you ...


17

Blowing on the face is a common trick. It triggers a reflex to hold the breath for a short moment. That stops the crying, and can also be used when washing the child's face etc. I am not aware of any consequences of this, neither positive nor negative.


16

Pacifiers aren't magic. If something else is bothering a baby, a pacifier only calms them for a short while. This is useful, for example, if you need a baby to calm down for a few minutes while you fix a bottle, but you have to address the underlying need in short order or the baby just spits the pacifier out and gets madder than ever. On plane trips, ...


16

I'd suggest you just try it. Whatever works, works. You'll notice soon enough what makes her calm down, and what doesn't. I don't think there are rules to this, and not all babies respond to exactly the same things, even though some things generally work better than others. A lot depends on why the baby is crying. If she's hungry, most likely nothing except ...


15

There are a couple of issues here. Your child throwing tantrums and dealing with that has been addressed by others. Then there is the cultural issue of how the interaction between an Indian parent and child should be. I'll try to address that. I'll explain the emotions in the t-shirt issue, for example. For example, he had to wear a yellow t-shirt to ...


15

We mostly only ask one of our children to stop crying, and that's because he will literally keep going for hours if we don't. Most children get it out of their systems in a couple minutes and move on, at least for crying about something that happened in the past and is done, not an ongoing condition like being tired or sick. At a certain point, crying ...


14

I know parents on both extremes of the spectrum, and if there are any long-term effects on their children, I honestly can't detect them. I think if one way was clearly better the topic wouldn't be so hotly debated. In my experience, the harm is more short term due to the boy-who-cried-wolf effect. When you become accustomed to ignoring their cries, you ...


14

Some babies have their internal clock backwards when they're born. My daughter is three weeks old, and while not quite as out of rhythm as your son, she is definitely more awake and aware between the hours of 7 and midnight than during daylight, and she sleeps like a rock during the day. Some of this may be inherent in a baby's programming; Mommy's expected ...


14

As a child I always found it reassuring to know my parents were mortal and capable of sadness like me. I think something that contributed to my development was when mom and dad would explain what they were crying about when they saw my concern. It also helps children recognize for themselves when something is making them sad, and that is why they are ...


14

This is an interesting article on the topic: http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/2010/05/why-do-some-babies-hate-being-drowsy.html The article has this to say on why some babies hate being drowsy: -The Drowsy State: Babies move in and out of 6 different "states" or moods: crying, irritable, quiet alert, drowsy, active sleep, and quiet sleep. You ...


14

Yup, it's normal. Basically, he feels rubbish because he's tired. So he's struggling and crying because he doesn't know how to stop feeling rubbish, and is trying to find a non-rubbish position. But he likes being held, so when you put him down, that's worse. It doesn't help that for small children, sleep is basically terrifying. One second you're being ...


13

First, you are not withholding comfort. You are allowing them to express themselves in a way which requires them to handle the issue without forming a dependency. Being comforting is not the same thing for every child and every situation. For relatives, they likely have children. That being the case, I'd ask them if any 2 of the children were able to be ...


13

It sounds like what you have is a breakdown in communication. It's especially difficult around this age since she is trying to make use of her newly acquired language skills. Look at it from her point of view. — "I want your phone." — "No, this is mine!" That response eliminates all common ground. What other recourse does she have but to throw a ...


13

"If my wife will not allow her to do so, she will keep crying and crying without stop." Sadly, I fear that this may be indicative that she has learnt that by crying, she can have her way; and I would be willing to bet that when she keeps crying you eventually give in and let her play with the hair - re-asserting the behaviour. While crying can be ...


12

For a healthy baby, I like to keep things simple, so Hungry Dirty Nappy/Diaper Wind Tired This allows a simple set of rules to be followed to sort the problem. My response to crying is always Does she need fed --> Yes --> Feed | | V No --> Is her nappy dirty --> Yes --> Change | | V No --> Is she showing signs of wind (knees to chest, red face) --...


12

Based on a list I made and kept as a poster over the crib: Hungry/Thirsty Diaper wet/dirty/tight Unswaddled newborn Teething Gas pain Reflux Too cold/hot Lonely Bored Tired Rash Sick Hurt self Fear of dark Too much light/noise during sleep Startled Strangeness in environment Missing toy or other object Foreign object on skin Hair-snared digits


12

We carry lots of evolutionary baggage with us. For millions of years, children have been sitting on their mothers' hips all day. Lying around somewhere on their own for a lengthy period of time would mean they had been left behind in the high grass of the savanna. The only way for children to survive this would have been to be loud enough to be heard by ...


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