117
I think it's time to let go of those reins and I honestly think you'll get a very good reaction. I'd even go as far as to say don't restrict her bedtime at all. Granted, rules should be in place like:
No friends over after a certain time
A quiet time after a certain time so as to not disturb others who may be sleeping
Maintain a curfew for her to be home by ...
59
Your daughter is exhibiting self-soothing behavior, usually more pronounced when the child is tired or falling asleep. From the AAP's healthychildren.org page on common childhood habits:
Their repetitive nature suggests that they serve a soothing or calming process for the brain. Interestingly, even in adulthood many people cling to some of these self-...
52
L is now so habituated to weeing at this time of night that she
basically doesn't wake up at all during the process. When we talk to
her about it, she denies any knowledge of it happening at all...
So first step, stop carrying her. Wake her, as gently as you can, and make her walk herself to the bathroom. I would pick a weekend to start this process, as ...
48
According to NICHD: No.
Myth: Babies who sleep on their backs will choke if they spit up or
vomit during sleep.
Fact: Babies automatically cough up or swallow fluid that they spit up
or vomit—it’s a reflex to keep the airway clear. Studies show no
increase in the number of deaths from choking among babies who sleep
on their backs. In fact, ...
44
Children have all kinds of reasons for feeling more comfortable in the presence of their parents at night. I can respect that. But you need your sleep and your time with your wife.
One option people rarely mention is putting the kid to bed in their parents' room. After months of struggling with our (2.5 year old) second child, I bought a thick foam rubber ...
41
I was a foster parent for a year. I met parents who were unequivocally abusive. One thing I took from that experience is that the term "abusive" is applied way too frequently to normal parents who at worst are making honest mistakes and at best just have a different parenting style. It dilutes the impact of the word, and in my opinion dishonors truly ...
36
The main thing is that your daughter is getting sufficient total sleep (not time in bed, but time asleep, and restorative deep sleep, not fitful sleep). Not getting enough sleep has been considered an epidemic in the U.S. by sleep researcher William Dement, and sufficient sleep is particularly important to brains that are growing and learning so much each ...
33
11 to 9:30 is ten and a half hours, which is plenty of sleep. My kids are up at 6:30, and go to sleep at about 8:30. I think that if you want to adjust her schedule, I would start by waking her up earlier.
32
As long as he is getting enough in each 24-hour cycle, and he remains on-course on his weight chart, and if he can sleep 4-5 hours between feedings, then go with that and don't wake him up.
I would only wake him if there's reason to be concerned.
answered Feb 29 '12 at 19:25
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
33.6k16 gold badges99 silver badges204 bronze badges
27
I think CF13's answer is spot on. I just want to add a little bit of information to support/expand on it.
I assume by "choke", you mean a significant event, like death or aspiration pneumonia, not merely coughing or gagging. The latter are actually ways to clear the throat (kind of the opposite of choking.)
Without going into too much detail, there are ...
26
Yes you can wait.
Unless you can't be interrupted (like when you're driving), you should change the diaper "reasonably fast," meaning within ten minutes or so during the daytime. That's a very rough guideline though. Here are some considerations:
It varies how well children handle nighttime diaper changes.
If you can change during the night, do it. That ...
answered Feb 29 '12 at 19:21
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
33.6k16 gold badges99 silver badges204 bronze badges
26
I don't think there's anything traumatic about the way you're handling the situation. You're not locking him in his room for hours on end and ignoring him, you're removing yourself from a situation so as not to prolong it.
When my son was 2 we had a similar situation of him getting out of bed multiple times before falling asleep. The Supernanny technique ...
25
Your brain tells you when to go to sleep by producing melatonin. Melatonin is what makes you feel tired, and prepares you for sleep.
The brain hormone melatonin is produced later at night for teens than it is for kids and adults. This can make it harder for teens to fall asleep early. – TeensHealth How Much Sleep Do I Need?
This has been noted by many, ...
22
My wife and I never worried a whole lot about whether our daughter actually SLEPT after bedtime.
Our rule was that after bedtime, she had to be quiet, leave us alone, and stay in her room. We enforced that rule just like any other, and allowed nature to manage her sleeping. We modeled the same behavior ... after bedtime the lights were lowered and the house ...
22
I'm reading a book right now called "Why we Sleep". (I strongly advise everyone to read it too.)
It has a whole section on the sleep changes we go through from infancy to old-age.
One thing it very clearly states is that as children move from childhood into their teenage years is that their circadian rhythm SHIFTS. It moves from them "crashing" at 7pm or 8pm ...
21
I've been there before. My son was over a year old before he started sleeping through the night. Here are my suggestions:
Put him to bed earlier - like 7pm. It sounds counterintuitive, but sleep quality goes down when you're overtired, leaving you prone to waking more (and the same is true for children). As the saying goes "sleep begets sleep."
Do not stop ...
20
According to the US. Department of Health & Human Services brochure on sleep positioning for infants:
Studies show that, during early infancy, it is unusual for a baby who is placed in the back sleep position to roll onto his or her stomach.20 However, once infants are more developmentally advanced, they often roll over on their own. In this situation,...
20
I'd say that's entirely normal at that age, and not a lot you can do about it (short of getting him his own space). Any time our 3 year old comes into our bed (after a nightmare or just having trouble sleeping), this is what we expect. In his own bed he'd do roughly the same thing (except that nobody would be the victim).
What he's doing is a combination ...
19
There are several potential advantages:
Literacy: Being functionally literate is practically a requirement for modern life, and the greater your comfort with the written word, the easier it is to acquire knowledge. Reading to your child encourages them to think of books as "normal" things, and starts this process early.
Entertainment: One of the key things ...
19
We recently crossed this bridge with our 5 year old. My wife and I miscommunicated who was taking her for a pee, neither of us did and there was no accident. After figuring out what happened the next day, we just rolled with it. After a few months with zero accidents, last week we took the pee pad off of her bed.
So "stop doing it and suck up the handful ...
18
To be perfectly honest I get a yellow flag here.
In my opinion, I think that 7pm is too early... but that's just my opinion. I mean, you're the one that knows your kid, not me. Right? Yeah.
But I certainly wouldn't call it abusive.
I would however call the teachers expression of 'concern for abuse' a full-on threat. I see that statement as "I don't agree ...
15
When I was baby, my the official recommendation was to sleep babies on their stomach. I don't know the scientific/medical reason for that decade (1980's).
According to research, sleeping babies on their back greatly reduces SIDS probability, and that is the main reason for recommending sleeping on back.
According to this article,
Since "Back to Sleep" ...
15
I think there are two questions that actually need to be answered here:
Is it traumatic for a toddler's bedroom door to be closed at all?
Is it traumatic for a toddler's bedroom door to be closed as discipline?
To the first one, I say, no, it's not. At two, kids are generally old enough to understand that even though you're not around and they can't get to ...
15
Everyone on here has already said, "Talk to your Wife." So I won't reiterate that part again. This Wonderful answer gives information about how to go about engaging in that conversation in a way that is most likely to result in a positive outcome.
What I didn't see addressed was the 1-2 hours it takes to put the two kids to bed. Parenting is exhausting ...
15
Is it too early to sleep train and keep her up more during the day?
In brief: Yes, it is far too early.
Parents and children have a circadian rhythm that is governed by hormones like cortisol, melatonin (especially), and others. That means basically that you sleep at night and awake in the morning. It's a fine tuned cycle, and it varies with individuals.
...
14
I'm not a doctor too, just an engineer, but:
60 dB can not damage your hearing. 85 dB for 8 hours a day is a safe limit for adults, and 60 dB is very very far from that.
If you use the white noise for couple of tens of minutes, it is hard to believe it will cause any stress or psychological damage. I think any continuous noise is bad, if it is too loud and/...
14
With a newborn, you can certainly wait. Ten minutes, as Torben sais, is a good measure. Note that this doesn't mean you should always wait that long.
From my own experience, this changes once you start introducing solid foods, which is usually around six months of age. Solid faeces are much more prone to irritate the skin, so changing the diaper quickly ...
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