117
I think it's time to let go of those reins and I honestly think you'll get a very good reaction. I'd even go as far as to say don't restrict her bedtime at all. Granted, rules should be in place like:
No friends over after a certain time
A quiet time after a certain time so as to not disturb others who may be sleeping
Maintain a curfew for her to be home by ...
59
Your daughter is exhibiting self-soothing behavior, usually more pronounced when the child is tired or falling asleep. From the AAP's healthychildren.org page on common childhood habits:
Their repetitive nature suggests that they serve a soothing or calming process for the brain. Interestingly, even in adulthood many people cling to some of these self-...
52
L is now so habituated to weeing at this time of night that she
basically doesn't wake up at all during the process. When we talk to
her about it, she denies any knowledge of it happening at all...
So first step, stop carrying her. Wake her, as gently as you can, and make her walk herself to the bathroom. I would pick a weekend to start this process, as ...
48
According to NICHD: No.
Myth: Babies who sleep on their backs will choke if they spit up or
vomit during sleep.
Fact: Babies automatically cough up or swallow fluid that they spit up
or vomit—it’s a reflex to keep the airway clear. Studies show no
increase in the number of deaths from choking among babies who sleep
on their backs. In fact, ...
44
Children have all kinds of reasons for feeling more comfortable in the presence of their parents at night. I can respect that. But you need your sleep and your time with your wife.
One option people rarely mention is putting the kid to bed in their parents' room. After months of struggling with our (2.5 year old) second child, I bought a thick foam rubber ...
41
I was a foster parent for a year. I met parents who were unequivocally abusive. One thing I took from that experience is that the term "abusive" is applied way too frequently to normal parents who at worst are making honest mistakes and at best just have a different parenting style. It dilutes the impact of the word, and in my opinion dishonors truly ...
40
It's not generally ideal to schedule night feedings (unless under a doctor's recommendation). You may want to wake your baby if they go lo longer than 5 hours asleep between feedings during the immediate newborn period, but other than those cases, do wait until your baby signals to be fed overnight.
Your nighttime feedings with most likely go one of two ...
39
It sounds like there are a couple things going on here, from your answers to the comments.
You think that due to social norms, she should fit in and go to bed when society deems acceptable.
You'd like to spend time with your daughter while you're both awake, and would like to maximize that time.
Item #1 is a dead end. No teen in the world will ever care ...
37
The main thing is that your daughter is getting sufficient total sleep (not time in bed, but time asleep, and restorative deep sleep, not fitful sleep). Not getting enough sleep has been considered an epidemic in the U.S. by sleep researcher William Dement, and sufficient sleep is particularly important to brains that are growing and learning so much each ...
37
Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is important for your health. It's important for your overall health and for the health and quality of your sleep in the long-term.
Outside of the "my house, my rules" (which, in my opinion, is an important factor but not something to be lorded over them), studies at length have been conducted for the benefits of ...
34
11 to 9:30 is ten and a half hours, which is plenty of sleep. My kids are up at 6:30, and go to sleep at about 8:30. I think that if you want to adjust her schedule, I would start by waking her up earlier.
27
I think CF13's answer is spot on. I just want to add a little bit of information to support/expand on it.
I assume by "choke", you mean a significant event, like death or aspiration pneumonia, not merely coughing or gagging. The latter are actually ways to clear the throat (kind of the opposite of choking.)
Without going into too much detail, there are ...
26
Your brain tells you when to go to sleep by producing melatonin. Melatonin is what makes you feel tired, and prepares you for sleep.
The brain hormone melatonin is produced later at night for teens than it is for kids and adults. This can make it harder for teens to fall asleep early. – TeensHealth How Much Sleep Do I Need?
This has been noted by many, ...
22
I'm reading a book right now called "Why we Sleep". (I strongly advise everyone to read it too.)
It has a whole section on the sleep changes we go through from infancy to old-age.
One thing it very clearly states is that as children move from childhood into their teenage years is that their circadian rhythm SHIFTS. It moves from them "crashing" at 7pm or 8pm ...
20
According to the US. Department of Health & Human Services brochure on sleep positioning for infants:
Studies show that, during early infancy, it is unusual for a baby who is placed in the back sleep position to roll onto his or her stomach.20 However, once infants are more developmentally advanced, they often roll over on their own. In this situation,...
20
I'd say that's entirely normal at that age, and not a lot you can do about it (short of getting him his own space). Any time our 3 year old comes into our bed (after a nightmare or just having trouble sleeping), this is what we expect. In his own bed he'd do roughly the same thing (except that nobody would be the victim).
What he's doing is a combination ...
19
There are several potential advantages:
Literacy: Being functionally literate is practically a requirement for modern life, and the greater your comfort with the written word, the easier it is to acquire knowledge. Reading to your child encourages them to think of books as "normal" things, and starts this process early.
Entertainment: One of the key things ...
19
We recently crossed this bridge with our 5 year old. My wife and I miscommunicated who was taking her for a pee, neither of us did and there was no accident. After figuring out what happened the next day, we just rolled with it. After a few months with zero accidents, last week we took the pee pad off of her bed.
So "stop doing it and suck up the handful ...
19
As a rule, plans made for parenting strategy last until about 5 minutes after birth.
Don't worry. Your little tyke will let you know when it needs feeding, and your parental instincts will kick in. You will be awake within seconds of the smallest murmur. Feed and change, go back to sleep. You just get used to it. This phase doesn't last long, after all.
18
To be perfectly honest I get a yellow flag here.
In my opinion, I think that 7pm is too early... but that's just my opinion. I mean, you're the one that knows your kid, not me. Right? Yeah.
But I certainly wouldn't call it abusive.
I would however call the teachers expression of 'concern for abuse' a full-on threat. I see that statement as "I don't agree ...
18
In my experience, teens have short-sighted priorities and acts mostly from what they desire now. So let's look at it from the teen's perspective: Why should your teen get up early?
It keeps her sleep schedule on target for school. But that's literally months away!
It's healthy for her growth. Urgh
Your house, your rules. Double urgh
From her viewpoint, ...
15
Everyone on here has already said, "Talk to your Wife." So I won't reiterate that part again. This Wonderful answer gives information about how to go about engaging in that conversation in a way that is most likely to result in a positive outcome.
What I didn't see addressed was the 1-2 hours it takes to put the two kids to bed. Parenting is exhausting ...
15
Is it too early to sleep train and keep her up more during the day?
In brief: Yes, it is far too early.
Parents and children have a circadian rhythm that is governed by hormones like cortisol, melatonin (especially), and others. That means basically that you sleep at night and awake in the morning. It's a fine tuned cycle, and it varies with individuals.
...
14
Why Short Naps Happen
Inability to Handle Partial Wakings
Your child is waking up after reaching the light sleep portion of a sleep cycle. If your 4 month old learns to fall asleep independently through some form of sleep training - the level of crying sleep training needs to involve can be up to your family - then it may solve this problem. The drive to ...
14
This is definitely a parental issue in that you and your wife are definitely NOT on the same page about this. Just based upon your comment that you are a stay-at-home/work-at-home dad, I can only make the guess that your wife probably works outside the home (I might be wrong...).
If this is the case, I'm wagering your wife is suffering from some mommy ...
14
The love of a parent is infinite, but the time is not. In my humble opinion, you should be thankful for every moment where he does not crave your undivided attention. If you're lucky, he will learn that it's okay to be awake and still remain calm and quiet - I wish my kids knew that.
As long as you have plenty of activities with him during the day, don't ...
answered Jan 18 '13 at 12:19
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
33.8k17 gold badges103 silver badges205 bronze badges
14
While blue may be a calming pigment choice for paint, according to Harvard Health, "blue wavelengths—which are beneficial during daylight hours because they boost attention, reaction times, and mood—seem to be the most disruptive at night."
Light of any kind decreases the secretion of melatonin, a hormone that helps you sleep, and light at night ...
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