Hot answers tagged

129

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


81

If my daughter came home with a nice person or clearly the wrong guy: I'd ask her conversationally what she sees in him and I'd listen. I'd have him over to our home as often as possible -- dinner, a movie night, and invite him on some family outings. Our daughter loves to go to the botanical garden and the museum. I'd subtly reinforce that we are always on ...


57

Babies/children build up their immune systems by being exposed to germs and dirt. Keeping them away from germs and dirt actually gives them a weaker immune system. (http://www.webmd.com/parenting/d2n-stopping-germs-12/kids-and-dirt-germs) This is not to say that you should bring your baby hang out with plague victims. Some germs (mold etc) can make baby ...


51

First, a note: I am not speaking to whether this is a correct choice on your part on her behalf; I would encourage you to ask that as a separate question. If you have concerns about a particular assignment, you have a few options. Your first and best option is to speak to the child's teacher. Bring up your specific concerns, as to why you believe this ...


29

Simple answer - these feelings are normal and not necessarily an indication of her sexuality, just a child's confusion and anxiety over physical intimacy. There is nothing to be concerned about, nothing special you or your daughter needs to do. Just let time reveal her sexuality. When it happens, she'll know it and if she believes that there's nothing ...


28

Pre-marital counseling for ANYONE entering into a marriage or long-term cohabitation seems like a really good idea. Even in healthy relationships, that counseling is designed to prompt conversation about expectations for household duties, budgets, sex, alone-time, together-time, desire for kids, religion, and many other aspects of marriage. Pre-marital ...


25

What would you do if you were in the parents' shoes? As a parent myself with a young child I can't actually provide any solid thoughts on what I would in this exact situation do but based on my experience I already know there probably isn't a lot I can do. What I would do, is my very best to advise my son and ensure they are fully supported. I would be ...


23

Ask her why she is afraid of turning out to be lesbian, and address that.


22

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, your doctor or your girlfriend's doctor) It is possible that your girlfriend is experiencing postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The hormonal changes during and after pregnancy are associated with multiple mental health issues, most prominent postpartum depression, but also the lesser known postpartum anxiety and ...


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


20

I've had similar reservations about books chosen by my child's teacher, and in every case it's been better to reserve judgement until after the child has at least sampled the book. Some books that I thought was fine have been disturbing to the child and some books I was worried about turned out to be fine. If possible read the book ahead of the child and be ...


18

This is not a sexual orientation issue. It is an anxiety problem that happens to have sexual orientation as its focus. The issue here is that she is having intense anxiety about this idea, and it is interrupting her ability to cope with life. While reassurance often works as a first line treatment, it can also make things worse. If she's having to be ...


18

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


15

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


15

Should I push my parents to divorce? To make it plain: No. The answer is "no" for at least two reasons: The decision whether or not to divorce is quite complex, with multiple consequences either way. This is a decision only your parents can make, and it is unlikely that you can judge better than them what will most benefit them in the long run (though you ...


13

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...


13

My experience is the child's reaction is based on their personality. My younger brother always did what my parents suggested. If they disliked his friends or girlfriend, he would listen and obey. He is now successful and has a stable marriage. Every time my parents told me my friends/dates weren't good it just made me rebel more and make (in hindsight) ...


12

Without a thought, to protect my daughter, I would happily and honorably sacrifice my life. I have actually kidnapped her from her mother (legally, yes), denied legal visitation after being asked what to do when her mother went into a bar and she had to sleep in a plastic bag behind a bush outside, and rescued her when my ex-father in-law remanded her to my ...


11

Poor little guy. Try searching for information on "childhood fears" and "night terrors", those are the usual terms used. Here's one set of basic recommendations: General Guidelines for Any Age When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. Chansky suggests following these basic ...


10

You must know how far you're are going to push your concerns and what outcome you are willing to accept. Let my tell you my own story from the perspective of the child. I met a woman who was the manager of a hotel I was staying at long term. This was a higher end hotel and they would host a manager's reception at least once a week where dinner and drinks ...


9

Before anyone misinterprets what I say here, I have no desire to dismiss or diminish issues of sexual orientation. This is just a possibility. The validity of her orientation is not in question; her suffering is. Your daughter is suffering, regardless of her true/ultimate sexual orientation. If she is having thoughts that cause her such dismay, there may be ...


8

Life is, indeed, meaningless. There's nothing wrong with your kid. I was just like him - I had zero friends and didn't like talking to anyone. Then I gradually began to become more social, and now, in my mid-thirties, I have friends begging to hang out with me every single day of the week. Life is wonderful - but yeah, still meaningless overall. Don't ...


8

Show him Star Trek, the original series (Kirk, Spock, McCoy & c.). From episode 1 on. Seriously, if there's a simple way to communicate optimism, inclusion, love for science and empathy for other beings, it is this sci-fi show. Brilliant as he is, he will surely appreciate the ongoing debate between rationality (Spock) and passion (McCoy), and the ...


8

I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the only thing that she could do to leave her father: marry. She married the first man she could, I believe she is his second wife. I realize that the suggestion ...


8

Everything looks fine about the trip (reputable group with long, positive track record, worthy cause, etc.) except for one thing: It is 8 weeks long. Is this a group that has a lot of experience planning such trips for 14-year-olds? The answer to the main question: Any thoughts on how to know if a long trip away from family and friends is appropriate ...


7

I think your daughter is simply working incomplete information -- she has analytical ability beyond her age, but the insufficient information to base her analysis on. Ask her questions -- a lot. "Why do people need to pick a career", "How long does it take to learn". This will help you understand where the knowledge gaps are so you can fill them in. Use ...


7

One of the key elements of a parenting course I attended was to introduce the accidents/dangers in controlled environment. (ofcourse it was with respect to fire, sharp things etc, but could be tried here). You need to understand what part of the accidents the child is remembering. The gunshot or breaking of glass with no apparent reason (to her). If it ...


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