My daughter is nearly 5yrs old and goes to kindergarten. Recently her classmate's (call her A) parent reports to the class teacher that my daughter bosses A verbally to the point that A refuses to go to school.
The example behaviour is that my daughter puts a doll on the chair next to her, claims that's her doll's seat, and orders A to pull up a new chair.
On one hand, this is certainly not kind and we do constantly tell her about politeness as well as sharing. But on the other hand, I feel that this is quite common in children and we don't want to discipline her beyond the age norm.
When this type of behaviour happens between my daughter and me, I would tell her that's not kind, remove her dolly, and sit there anyway. When it happens between she and her other friends (they do that to each other all the time), my observation is that they immediately start shouting and the teacher/parent would intervene.
Now this A happens to be shy. She didn't fight back or raise it to the class teacher on the spot, but went back and told her mum. Probably worse, she suffered quietly for a while and only told her mom when she couldn't take anymore.
My questions are
- Is my daughter's behaviour acceptable, in the sense that we don't like it but could tolerate it because of the young age?
- What would be a good response to A's parent?
Let's assume that my daughter doesn't target A specifically, which is order of magnitude more serious, but that she would do it to anyone on that spot.
Edit: After seeing @David Hedlund answer, I think I probably should include more example. Similar behaviour I observed myself include
- Asking us to not eat the food she likes on dinner table
- Not sharing with others the pens of her favourite colours when kids are drawing together
which IMHO more in the theme of bossing instead of make belief. But I'm not sure though.