Questions tagged [discipline]

How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do.

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How can I get my kid to stop whistling...so much?

I know this makes me sound like a jerk, but it feels nuanced and I really am trying to learn and grow. Some added context: He is using the handflute, or 'hand ocarina' method He does it very ...
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4 votes
3 answers
301 views

9 year old boy hurts himself and others inadvertently

I have a son who is really clumsy with his overall motor skills and at the same time is a dreamer, who is not paying attention to his surroundings. This leads to him having bruises all the time ...
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4 votes
3 answers
514 views

Is it normal for a 4 year old to scream when told no or something she doesn't like?

I have been looking after my daughter who is 4. Unfortunately, I have postpartum depression, which makes it difficult at times. However, I do everything to enjoy and spend my time with her. I take her ...
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6 votes
1 answer
484 views

How to stop my child's teacher from disciplining my child without my consent?

My daughter is 6 she is diagnosed add adhd fetal exposure. We adopted her at 6 weeks. I told the school after a assistant teacher terrorized my child into saying she was lying when she wasn’t not to ...
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4 votes
2 answers
310 views

Punishing my brother

My younger brother 16 is leaving with me, it's been two years now He is like every teenager likes to have fun, discover things and get friends. I kept him on the line, safe and sound. We argue ...
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2 votes
1 answer
277 views

Appropriate age for use of electronics

I was searching for this video for the last 3 years. In it a salesperson refuses to sell a tablet to the parents of a 5 year old saying that they can come back in 7 years and 12 years is the ...
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0 votes
2 answers
257 views

How can I discourage doing a poor job without being a nitpicking perfectionist?

A (from what I can tell) somewhat common contributing factor to children growing up with a lack of self-confidence, or being people-pleasers, is parents who were very strict, perfectionist, and/or ...
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5 votes
2 answers
406 views

Kleptomania in 9 year old

So, my 9 yo step sons has a big issue with stealing. The issue is that it's not stealing money, or for gain. A lot of the time, he just takes things, just so that he can have it. He takes something, ...
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4 votes
1 answer
370 views

7 year old won't believe adults even when they show overwhelming evidence

This one is a weird situation that came to a head yesterday but, now that I look back on it, the behaviour has been there for months. My seven year old has indoor and outdoor shoes at school. The ...
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1 vote
1 answer
144 views

Should I issue consequences at bed time?

My nine year old has always had excellent bedtime habits. We considered ourselves fortunate and have maintained consistent routines. She typically goes to bed between 8 and 830. Recently she has ...
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  • 415
5 votes
2 answers
623 views

How to handle a 5-year-old that "bullies" me in order to get attention?

I'm almost 30 years old, and I'm being terrorized by a 5-year-old. Both his step-mom (my cousin) and I don't know what to do with him anymore. This kid has basically been ill-mannered from the day I ...
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2 votes
3 answers
464 views

I'm worried that my 2-year-old granddaughter is extremely aggressive

I am very worried about my 2-year-old granddaughter (she will be 3 years old in 3 months). Anytime she gets in trouble she laughs no matter how she is disciplined. Her parents have tried talking to ...
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3 votes
1 answer
129 views

Teen displays bullying behavior towards his siblings, and also towards my kids, how to handle?

We have a family friend stay with us. She has 4 kids. Two teenage boys (17 and 14) and two younger kids (8 yo boy and 6 yo girls). All kids except the 17 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD. The 14 ...
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3 votes
3 answers
343 views

Toddler makes a mess with everything, everywhere

Our son is 17 months old. He is too frequently ruining things and losing our expensive things. I know these things should be out of reach, but some things can’t be locked and things at his level are ...
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4 votes
1 answer
266 views

How to convince teenage sister to coexist with parents?

Not a parent but an older sibling and I’m trying to establish some form of peace in my household, I’ll try to give context here without making the question too long. My sister is a teenager that’s ...
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0 votes
1 answer
127 views

My younger brother doesn't know when to stop doing something he finds fun even when it's hurting someone else

I have responsibility over my 5 year old brother quite often, enough so that he calls me mom, and I deal with this almost daily and it's extremely frustrating and I don't know what to do, when I ask ...
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5 votes
3 answers
2k views

Child with ODD and ADHD

I honestly am confused about what to do as a parent. I have a 4 year old child with severe ADHD symptoms and ODD and persistent impulse control issues. My child experiences level 10 tantrums multiple ...
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3 votes
2 answers
195 views

how to convey certain objects are off limits to a child under 1?

Our daughter turns one years old next month. She has been developing ahead of schedule in many arenas and is a very expressive and affectionate child. Of late, she is able to reach and grab a variety ...
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0 votes
1 answer
146 views

Basic discipline away from home

My question is similar to this one: about enforcing some basic and necessary discipline vis-à-vis a toddler, such as getting dressed, going to bed, etc. The answer to the cited question is an ...
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3 votes
2 answers
481 views

Will "positive parenting" techniques work with my children?

I have two children (age 8 & 6). Both are very strong-willed. The stress of the pandemic and remote learning have taken their toll and caused their behaviors to escalate. They are now more ...
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1 vote
5 answers
746 views

How do you teach a child who doesn't respond to positive or negative reinforcement?

I've got two kids, 8 and 17, and they both struggle to learn from their mistakes, making the same mistakes again and again and again, despite the consequences. For example, they're both huge ...
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17 votes
8 answers
12k views

8 year old is breaking the rules, and not understanding consequences

So, I recently asked this question, and after following the advice given, it has only made things more erratic. At this point, they both do listen when told what they have done wrong, and why it is ...
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17 votes
11 answers
5k views

What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?

This is the setting: I'm with my 6-7 years old son in a dinosaur park (in a day not busy at all, so he will not behave as a good boy just because there's people around him who could make him feel ...
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  • 286
-4 votes
1 answer
211 views

On the strategy of comparing parents to supervisors/bosses/employers [closed]

Prepare to downvote me. Context: There appears to be this folklore strat of comparing parents to supervisors/bosses/employers when parents have a discussion/disagreement/argument/debate with their ...
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  • 119
4 votes
2 answers
169 views

Advise on 123 Magic for hyper or anxious kids

Has anybody that’s done 123 Magic have any experience with a child who knowing they will get a time out, negotiates the conditions of their time out? My son will know on 3 he goes to his room for 5 ...
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2 votes
2 answers
304 views

Lying and hiding from parents

Background: The child here is a 10 year old. We are a stable two parent household. He is academically good, however, wants to spend all time glued to YouTube/ Video games. We placed a limit of an hour ...
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1 vote
2 answers
978 views

What to do about a 6 year old who knows when to go to the bathroom but still doesn't?

My 6 year old granddaughter is a smart child and knows when she needs to go the bathroom. She just does not care if she goes in her undies or pants. We have tried everything with her. Tried to give ...
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4 votes
1 answer
269 views

Is my son uncle making him moody whilst its hurting our marriage?

My wife's brothers live with us, some of them know where boundaries are and some are always telling my wife what to do with kids and intervening. It has been annoying for me because it seems they are ...
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3 votes
1 answer
307 views

How do I make my girlfriend's 4 year old stop hurting my dog?

I'm the boyfriend of a now 4 year old's mother and I have been in the little boy's life for about 2 years. We have a good bond, although I don't live with them and see them 2 weeks every 4. My ex and ...
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14 votes
5 answers
9k views

How to stop a toddler (seventeen months old) from hitting and pushing the TV?

We have a pretty standard living room set up with a TV sitting on a not-that-high cabinet which is easily in reach of our seventeen month old. Our apartment is very small and for that reason we're not ...
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2 votes
2 answers
435 views

Is this normal behavior for a kindergarten teacher?

I just had my son's kindergarten teacher tell me that 'the way you are raising him is making my job harder'. I was offended by this but don't have much experience with teachers and don't know if I am ...
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5 votes
1 answer
2k views

Dealing with "breaking the rules"

So we have 2 young boys, aged 8 and 6. The 8 year old is very smart for his age, he's intuitive, figures out how things work, and knows how to get what he wants. The 6 year old however is more ...
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1 vote
1 answer
143 views

My 3 year old is having problems at daycare but not at home what can I do to address this?

My son just turned 3 and moved to a new daycare 4 weeks ago. He had a good first few days and his behaviors have gotten steadily worse. He’s spitting, hitting, biting, and pinching. He’s had bitting ...
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2 votes
1 answer
192 views

How to prevent a toddler from hitting/throwing things that could seriously injure others and damage things around the home?

I have a 23 month old toddler who loves to hurl anything that he gets his hands on - either at things or other folks around the house. If not that, he'll treat it as a hammer and go around "...
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  • 123
3 votes
2 answers
156 views

4yr old hitting in daycare

I have a four year old who goes to daycare. The daycare has been reporting that he has been hitting other children. They say he just hits for no reason. The daycare does not put kids in timeout, they ...
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  • 39
3 votes
3 answers
401 views

What to do when a pre-schooler refuses to perform routine tasks?

I've recently observed a lot of parenting and I must admit that it's left me baffled and overly cynical. My primary question is this: What do you do when a pre-schooler, say 4-5 years old, refuses to ...
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  • 141
5 votes
1 answer
364 views

How to respond to pranking 7 year old?

My kid discovered and started enjoying pranking. For example, he will ring the doorbell and then hide in the bushes, or pour water in our mailbox. He really enjoys this and I find it impossible to be ...
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  • 1,250
2 votes
1 answer
205 views

Deal with child in self-destruct mode with sibling

My partner and I have each a kid - an 8 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. The girl believes that anything the boy gets, she should get as well - no matter how it was obtained. This is how she views ...
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39 votes
12 answers
11k views

Should a teenager coming out of quarantine be held responsible to clean up after themself?

My almost 15 year old son recently had to spend 10 days in the basement, due to a member of his school testing positive for COVID-19 (he tested negative). During that time he had the run of the whole ...
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  • 501
4 votes
3 answers
134 views

Time between behaviour and consequence, is there a general rule of thumb per age?

I have a two year old; I know that, especially with young children, they don't really connect a consequence in the future with a behaviour now. ("If you do that you can't have dessert after supper", ...
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1 vote
1 answer
212 views

"I don't like this" vs. "Leave me alone"

My two pre-schoolers (almost 4, almost 5) sometimes play rough with each other, e.g. when fighting over some toy. When one of them asks us parents for help, it's sometimes part of the game (they want ...
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  • 281
5 votes
2 answers
151 views

How to design a reward system when there are several kids?

My children ages: 2,4,6 (boy, boy, girl) I will like to give rewards like puzzles, games, and Lego's. Kids very excited to get gifts as rewards, and they like those things belong to them. The ...
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6 votes
1 answer
329 views

How to handle spontanous confessions of naughty deeds by primary-schooler?

Our son will sometimes open up around bedtime. This is when I hear about how things are at school or what he is afraid of. But sometimes he confesses naughty things he did. In some cases he is ...
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  • 1,250
-2 votes
3 answers
527 views

Punishing the younger sibling for bullying (physically abusing) the sibling that's 10 years older

What are pedagogically effective ways to punish a 14 year old for bullying the one that's 24 years old? There has been no effect in talking and explaining, and the younger one doesn't really go out ...
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1 vote
3 answers
288 views

How long should i let my two year old cry for before giving up and giving her what she wants?

My daughter is 2 years and one month old. Her eating isn't great, I suspect because we let her eat treats at mealtimes, regardless of whether she eats the nutritious stuff we put in front of her. So ...
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3 votes
2 answers
575 views

How can I get my teenager to go to school?

Teenage daughter refusing to go to school Very similar situation! 15yr old, been going through this for a couple years. Hates idea of home schooled so says, that will make it much worse. She likes ...
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  • 41
3 votes
1 answer
243 views

Dealing with other peoples kids who don't know when to stop

Initially my question was, how do I discipline other people's children but I am not sure that is the right question, nor is it something I actually want to do. More over, I need to understand better ...
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3 votes
3 answers
247 views

Making time for yourself

My son has recently developed a habit of ,following around. If I come upstair he will follow, if I go down stair he will follow, and if he is with his uncle the uncle laugh so loud and fanatic that it ...
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  • 1,435
2 votes
3 answers
384 views

How to teach a 4 year-old-child to handle tantrums?

My 4 year old son only accepts appreciation, he cannot accept "No,Don't..". A few neighbor kids came home to play with my son, he slightly tapped a 2 year old friend in his head, a 12 year girl who ...
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  • 369
1 vote
1 answer
270 views

How to stop child wandering in neighbor home?

When I take my four year old son into another person's house (such as a relative's home or a neighbor's home), he will wander around, going into other rooms, playing on furniture that he shouldn't ...
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