When my children (2 boys 2 years apart) were born, I was working and the children were left in the care of their father. He is not the best role model; his constant drinking and gambling has been a issue our entire marriage.
My fault, I feel, in all this was being to scared to divorce him because of what people would think and being the only bread winner in the house made it hard with two small children. Also, I held on the hope that every time I threatened to divorce him he would change but he never did.
At 16, my oldest dropped out of school and also had a felony. At 16, my youngest dropped out of school and had a set of twins with his girlfriend as well as a couple misdemeanors.
I gave my older boy a body shop which he ran with his father; it was shut down for illegally swapping parts, that cost me a good $100,000. Their father went to prison for 6 years for drug trafficking.
I thought with that bad influence out of their lives they could have a chance to do something for themselves.
I started giving them both $2500 a month to invest, live off, make some money out of, which of course they spent on cloths, games, movies, etc. I cut them down to $1000 a month which I thought was pretty harsh but would motivate them, and I gave both of them a dispensary, I figured they smoke weed all day and it was legal in Michigan so they should know a lot about it right? Wrong, the city shut them down due to zoning, which was not their faults, however in the 6 months they were open they made no money. That was another $75000 down the drain.
In a last ditch effort to make something out of them, I leased them both brand new vehicles, the agreement was in order to keep the vehicles they either had to go to school or work and pay be back each month for the cars. They both came to me about month before school was suppose to start to let me know they would not be working or going to school, so I cut off the $1000.
Now they don't talk to me, except when they have talked to their father to let them know I am hording the money and keeping it from them, as well as other poisoning of their brains.
- Should I pull the cars?
- What other path can I take?
- My oldest son has been physical with me in the past and I am scared, what should I do?
They are now 26 and 28.