I have a son who is 10. He plays online games with a small group of other kids of very similar ages. I know who they are, and I know the parents, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that we are friends. I don't even have phone numbers for most of them.
Within the games there is a side chat. I do not always read it daily, but I scroll back and read up to current every day or so. I have realized tonight that there is a kid in there that is racist. What he has said in the past wasn't really certain to me, as kid speak can be a little odd anyway, but the chat today definitely had some racist tones, to anyone familiar with those terms/words/phrases. I can promise you, my son missed it completely, in chat he even asked for clarification, as it was unfamiliar to him, and the other child said "nevermind, went over your head". No other children seemed to join in or grasp what he was meaning either as far as I could tell (age range is 9-11 in this group of about 8 kids in total, 6 were on tonight).
I know I need to inform my son what it meant and to explain that what has been said is troubling and inappropriate.
I am thinking, that if a child of this age knows these references, there is a very good chance he has learned it at home, so I am unsure if I should even bother trying to address the parents of this child. I am equally unsure if other parents are monitoring the chatting, and not sure what the ethical/moral/social expectations are regarding alerting the other parents of children chatting in there.
I would appreciate input and thoughts on this type of situation, particularly if you have ever dealt with it in your own kids. I am sure if I think longer on it I will have clearer thoughts too. Right now I am just upset and haven't had a lot of time to think and I was hoping that some outside perspectives might assist in clearer ideas on the best way to handle it.
So recap / TL;DR:
My kid (10 years old) is in a game chat with 7 other kids he knows. I know who the other parents are but we don't know one another well. One kid has made racist remarks which I think the other children were confused by and didn't understand the reference based on the reaction.
Ideas on how best to talk to my son & explain the situation?
Do I have any obligation to tell other parents with kids in that group what I read?
Do I bother attempting to talk to his parents and make sure they are aware?