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Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

1
vote
1answer
146 views

What to do about a 12-year-old boy who is shy outside but misbehaves at home?

I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different. Behavior at home I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't ...
3
votes
1answer
171 views

How to find out why my 11-year-old's memory is poor with regard to homework?

I've started to help my 11-year-old step son with his homework and in doing so, I've noticed that his memory is very poor. We walked through a multi-step process for adding three fractions, and after ...
3
votes
1answer
312 views

Is there any research on the psychological impact of male children pushing same sex parent out of the bed?

This question is about the impact on the psyche of a boy/tween who sleeps in their parents bed and as time goes on the father moves out of the bed. Certain things that may be of importance are: ...
3
votes
2answers
125 views

How to gamify learning?

My 11-year-old son is in his second year of secondary school and motivating him to learn is becoming increasingly difficult. In primary school, the subject material was presented by his teachers in ...
2
votes
2answers
188 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
6
votes
2answers
492 views

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

My 12-year-old daughter till recently had a good, friendly relationship with us (her parents) and was always happy to discuss anything that happens at school/activity classes and what's going on with ...
1
vote
2answers
181 views

12 years old - school related things

My 12 years old is very active and happy child but sometimes worries a lot. Recently the boy who he use to get along with for some reason started to bad mouthing him to other kids from school saying ...
3
votes
4answers
499 views

My son got in trouble for harassment at school. How can I teach him to stop?

So, a day or two ago, my son touched a girls butt during lunch. She reported him to the counselor and my son got a Saturday Detention, along with having to write a hand written apology to the girl. ...
8
votes
2answers
755 views

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I'm trying to decide if I should intervene and would very much appreciate some feedback. I am Japanese btw and my English may not be perfect, sorry. My son and his best friend are both 13 years of ...
15
votes
2answers
305 views

Respectful parenting and discipline

Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex ...
3
votes
5answers
379 views

How can I teach my daughter to see her errors?

An 11-years daughter of mine, when checking a piece of her writing or math exercise, where she has one or more errors, simply misses them, whispering contentedly something as 5*6=36. Normally, if I ...
0
votes
3answers
168 views

How to discipline teens for littering?

We have a chore system for our two tweenagers, where we all clean up at the end of the day and they help out. So far it's been pretty good with less and less oversight needed over time, and relatively ...
2
votes
3answers
222 views

How to balance teaching that hard work pays vs chores for free

We made a conscious decision not to give our kids much pocket money: it seemed a bad life lesson to teach that lots of free cash gets handed out on demand. So far that's been okay, and they've learned ...
2
votes
2answers
383 views

My 11-year-old daughter still asks me to zip her jacket

My daughter is now 11 years old, but still asks me to zip her jacket. This really worries me because she can do it herself and is otherwise independent. She even asks me when her friends are around. ...
1
vote
2answers
1k views

My 11-year-old grandson is holding in his poop

My 11-year-old grandson holds in his poop to the point he will pack his butt with toilet paper and when he can't hold it anymore it comes out in the toilet paper. Afterwards, he tries to clean up the ...
6
votes
4answers
294 views

How to handle an 11-year-old boy who doesn't study anymore and reacts aggressively towards me?

My 11-year-old son is now in class 5. Until class 4, he was good in studies, scoring around 90 %, but from this academic year he has not been showing interest in studies. He does not complete his ...
8
votes
3answers
861 views

How to react to an eleven-year-old sneaking out at night to look at the stars?

During the holidays, two kids from two families that we are friends with snuck out at night to look at the stars. The mother of one twelve year old boy reacted with an outburst of anger and severely ...
45
votes
5answers
14k views

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

I'm asking for a friend of mine, who's the parent. Her child is 12 years old. Yesterday, at school, the child's classmate was horribly beaten up by a teacher. And I mean horrible. It ended with the ...
0
votes
1answer
310 views

Is a Special Ed teacher allowed to tell regular teachers to instruct their students (6th graders) not to hug a child anymore? [closed]

My child is a boy in the 6th grade. Upon entering middle school, he acquired an all new administration and a new Special Ed teacher. At the end of the previous year, I was told by the Superintendent ...
2
votes
1answer
244 views

12 year old daughter only misbehaves for her parents

I have a 12 year old daughter who behaves for everyone except for my wife and I. Everyone else that encounters her thinks she is just an angel, but at home she is argumentative, talks back, has a ...
4
votes
4answers
452 views

My 11-year-old hates writing as do I. How to provide help to him writing a school essay without forcing him to do what he doesn't want to?

I raise my 11-year-old son by myself. He needs to write a small essay about his first day at school and I don't even know how to help him. He hates writing and is in love with math, so do I. I don't ...
4
votes
1answer
203 views

How do I stop my little brother from throwing things?

My brother is usually very nice to me, but sometimes he acts out. I can't be harsh with him because he is not a mature. He gets in a habit of throwing things. What can I do to get him to stop ...
-1
votes
1answer
188 views

Bad attitude from my 12yr old

My son has a bad attitude, and I can't even have a discussion with him without him kicking off. I try my hardest to not get cross but sometimes it's so hard not to. The way he is being is splitting my ...
5
votes
2answers
640 views

11 daughter likes a girl

My 11 year old daughter came to me and told me that she thinks she has feelings for another girl. She explained it as she has the same feelings for this girl that she has had for a boy all school year....
5
votes
3answers
434 views

Is this a situation in which I should push for intervention or should I let it go?

Background I am a mid-older teen living at home and preparing to go to college in about a year. I generally keep to myself and only interact with my parents on the most essential topics so I may be ...
1
vote
3answers
2k views

My 12-year-old daughter is not appreciative

My daughter just turned 12. She is the only child for me and my husband, but we both have other (grown) children from the first marriages. Our daughter is like an angel to us and we love her beyond ...
6
votes
1answer
946 views

Is it appropriate for boys aged 7 and 11 to go shirtless at home in front of 7 year old girl?

I am divorced with 2 boys and my significant other has a girl. My boys are 11 and 7, and she is 7. What brought me here is me not understanding certain things such as, my significant other asks me to ...
2
votes
2answers
597 views

My almost 12-year-old daughters threw tantrums and screamed outside the house

I’m a part-time working mom and I have twin daughters. They’ll be 12 years old next month. My question is is it normal, even when they’re almost 12 years old, to sometimes scream and cry like crazy ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

My 11-year-old daughter's temper is getting out of control

I need help with my daughter. She screamed in my face, she tries to block my way when I try to leave the room, she's tried to pull my hair, and she ripped a shirt I was wearing trying to keep me in ...
9
votes
3answers
797 views

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

My wife and I have been married for coming up close to 14 years now. We have 3 children, aged 12, 9 and 5. Recently, she started seeing another man and called it quits on me and the kids. She moved ...
10
votes
4answers
1k views

How to address a child having a racist friend?

I have a son who is 10. He plays online games with a small group of other kids of very similar ages. I know who they are, and I know the parents, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that we are ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I help my 11 year old daughter with encopresis?

My daughter has was diagnosed with encopresis at age 7. She's had bad constipation since 5, but I thought it was a phase. She cries when she has a "flare up" as she calls it. I can see the pain in her ...
5
votes
3answers
463 views

How to remain unaffected by my son's emotions?

My son is ten years old now and I feel that over the past year or so he has become increasingly irritable and prone to angry outbursts. He is easily frustrated by the smallest things and tears up and ...
1
vote
6answers
830 views

Should my 12-year son see, how I fail?

I have a 12-year old son. I don't live with his mother, but I try to do as much as possible to help him grow up a happy and healthy adult. Couple of months ago I learned he had problems with maths ...
1
vote
4answers
256 views

Forcing my sister/child to do any activities outside from school. How to approach a child differently in order to get their interest?

My mom and I are having a lot of struggle with my little sister. She is 12 years old and all of her life we have had a lot of trouble to try and get her into any activity at all. Currently she is in ...
4
votes
3answers
748 views

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

This happened before my husband and I were together! My husband was told 11 years ago that he fathered a little boy. The mother told him it was his then the very next day she told him she was just ...
16
votes
4answers
12k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12 year-old?

My 12 year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
56
votes
11answers
63k views

12 year old boy is totally out of control

My seventh grader screamed "Fuck you" at me last night. I am at the end of my rope. His behavior is so bad I feel like I need to send him away to a boarding school or something because he is causing ...
5
votes
2answers
215 views

How to deal with two 10- and 12-year-old brothers fighting?

I am a father of 10- and 12-year-old boys. Both used to play happily and regularly and fought on occasions. The younger boy used to complain about his older brother with some deep cries and proof of ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

How to figure out which of my children is lying to me? [duplicate]

I'm looking for advice on how to determine which of my children is lying. I have 4 kids, 12, 12, 8, 6. About once a week, something bad will happen, (this last incident, somebody poured a bowl of ...
5
votes
2answers
537 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
8
votes
6answers
3k views

My 13-year-old daughter is talking to a 20-year old girl on the internet. Is this normal?

She’s not very open so I have no idea whether their conversations are age-appropriate. She is a really intelligent and responsible kid, and she's definitely smart enough not to give out any personal ...
10
votes
3answers
819 views

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

My 12-year-old nephew "Bob" took my 9-year-old son aside and showed him a video of ISIS beheading a victim. I am just flabbergasted that Bob would do that. Interestingly Bob did not show the video to ...
7
votes
5answers
394 views

Children and Cell phones

How young is too young to have a cell phone? My 11 year old spends weekends away from mom and I need to keep in touch.
7
votes
4answers
5k views

What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?

My 12-year-old daughter is a good kid. But when something doesn't go her way she calls me a bitch and cusses a lot. I take her phone away when she does that. She can be so good, but it's like turning ...
1
vote
4answers
408 views

How to handle the father of my 11-year-old son who just met him for the first time in our son's best interest?

I have an 11-year-old son. His father wanted me to abort him. Now, he has seen him for the first time on Saturday. The father has never seen him prior or reached out to ask about him or try to see him....
119
votes
12answers
26k views

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

Last December we were victims of a vehicle accident that killed my husband and left my son severely brain damaged. My daughter who is 12 and will be 13 in couple months was the only one in our vehicle ...
0
votes
2answers
464 views

What to do about my 12-year-old son who doesn't show interest in anything?

I have a 12-year-old son. In the last 2 years, he has shown no interest in doing anything, not listening, not hanging out with friends, etc. He doesn't like cleaning up behind himself, is just not ...
1
vote
0answers
28 views

11 year old leaking or wetting pants while laughing [duplicate]

My 11 year old daughter has "leaked" or wet her pants (small amount) while laughing hard. She has become irrationally fearful to the point where she quit soccer and doesn't want to do anything where ...
54
votes
9answers
15k views

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

Background My wife and I recently moved into a town-house apartment in a large complex. We have a Husky pup that my wife walks twice a day (she's a stay-at-home) and the dog attracts lots of ...