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Ok so my daughter goes to this new school, and a lot of boys have crush on her.

When I pick her up from the after school I see all these little boys trying to flirt with her.

I'm very open minded but She's only 6 going to kinder garden so I am a little worried.

I do realize that I need to talk to her but my wife does not want me to do it recklessly because she says she likes how our daughter tells her everything.

Now I am not sure how to proceed? Can you give me some ideas?

EDIT: I'm worried that things go to quick in a child life. She is very beautiful girl and I do not trust the kids out there, she keep mentioning this one boy name all the time, or even call people by his name by accident.It just does not feel right to me.

I want my daughter to focus on schools not on who has crush on her.

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    Can you help us understand better what you want the conversation to be about -- are you worried she'll have too high an opinion of herself? are you worried she'll think she needs to start having boyfriends? do you want her to just avoid the boys altogether? I can think of a few possible ways to take this, but it will help get better answers if we have a more clear idea of what concerns you about the situation :)
    – Acire
    Commented May 9, 2015 at 0:09
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    @Erica thanks for the feedback I revised my post, I hope its clearer
    – meda
    Commented May 9, 2015 at 4:18

2 Answers 2

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Some of the attention she's been attracting may subside when she's no longer a shiny new coin.

You are afraid she will be distracted from her schoolwork. I can understand that fear. It's okay to feel that way.

But I would like to understand whether this has actually started to occur.

One thing you can do is spend a few minutes chatting with one or two of the boys, and optionally, their parents, when you go to pick your daughter up. As they become complete human beings to you, instead of just future vessels of testosterone, your fears may lessen.

Could you and your daughter try to identify one or two girls in her class that she would like to play with? Then you could invite one for a play date at your house.

My suggestions are designed to help create a bit more gender balance in your daughter's relationships at her new school. My personal philosophy is that a girl or a boy is first and foremost a person, and a child has the right to have a friendship with another child of either gender.

However, I do understand your discomfort with your daughter being the light bulb and the boys flying constantly around her like moths.

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  • I like both answers, while @anongoodnurse open my eyes on my unrealistic fears, yours gave solutions thank you to both
    – meda
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 16:51
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She is very beautiful girl and I do not trust the kids out there...

Why do you distrust a 6 year old boy? A 13 year old boy, certainly. But a 6 year old?

I would suggest that you examine carefully your fears and test them against reality. A 6 year old boy is as innocent as a 6 year old girl. Of course, if she's especially pretty, both boys and girls will be attracted to her. There is no real reason (in my mind) to have a "sit down" with her. That will just transfer your (probably ill-founded) fears onto her.

You've raised a fine little girl. Trust her to play appropriately with boys as equally well as with girls.

Crushes are a normal part of friendships at this age as well. They are well-intentioned and innocent. 5-6 year olds who like one another will talk of marriage, family, and the animals they want to have. One of my children at 5 wanted to get married to her best (opposite sex) friend with whom she had a wonderful relationship, and they agreed to raise chickens and foxes: foxes because they were cool, and chickens to feed them! (Surprised me, but, hey... I haven't been 5 for a long time.) They were closest of friends until about 13 years of age, when they actually started noticing other kids of the opposite sex. Their friendship enriched both of their lives.

Save your worries for when she is a bit older. In the meantime, teach her common sense rules of behavior and safety that every child should learn.

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