My 3-year-old child wakes up after about 6-8 hours of sleep which I think is normal. I get up around that time to pick up the house, study for school, and then I head out to work. When he wakes up, his mom is still sleeping, so he climbs up into her bed and tries to wake her up and asks to breastfeed. She tells him:
- Feeding is only before you go to sleep.
- It's too early, go to sleep.
- Raise her voice back at him irritated, and they both have this argument.
- Combination of 1, 2, 3.
I'm not sure what to do right now. I always wake up instantly when my child wakes up. I feel horrible sleeping in. I'm always tired too. But when I started exercising, I had a lot more energy, so after I wake up now, I recover faster, and I'm quickly energized.
The question would be how do I approach my wife without offending her? There could be a number of factors making her so tired, but she has always slept in though. Here is what I know:
- Breastfeeding drains all her energy
- Not exercising for 4 years has put a toll on her, thus her energy level declined
- She's under a lot of stress from school that's why she sleeps more
- She needs a break that's why she's quick to snap
Every person has a varying threshold for stress. I try to remind myself I'm going to school like her, working at our job, then after I come home, I spend the rest of the day with my child, so she can decompress. It's 12+ hours a day. I'm completely drained, but I remind myself how exciting learning from my child is to keep me going.
I do admit I spend less time with her, but I make sure to spend at least 1-2 hours a day with my wife. I know this helps her know that I care, and I do love her. But maybe this is one of the reasons? I make sure she and I have at least a day to ourselves most of the weeks. She always comes back home looking more energized when she does.
I'm looking into different approaches, but if anyone knows of some practical advice specifically for this, please share your experience. I want to know how to talk to my wife about the situation and not offend her for not waking up early or quick to lash out at our son.
PS: I noticed one thing that helps out a lot is when she and I are reading parenting books. It always refreshes what we don't know and keeps us on our guard. I picked up another parenting book, and I am reading it and explaining to her different ways to go about the situations. I know when I do, I can see her chance dramatically. I know she wants to do the best for our son, that's why when I read about parenting and share what I learned, it reinforces what her and I should be doing and eases everything. Bottom line, I think the frustration stems from not knowing what to do in the given situation and expecting our child to be able to comprehend given his 3 years on earth what had took us over 25 years.