How to deal with difficult parents who takes things for granted and won't take accountability for student's lack of discipline? [closed]

Question

By profession, I am a young computer engineer who has agreed to provide tutoring for computer science and AI to a girl studying in higher secondary school in India. She is from a family in the neighborhood, whose parents are somewhat good neighborhood friends of my parents. I gave her a strict day and time for her tutoring sessions which is Friday at 7 PM. However, she tends to skip the sessions occasionally, or she delays joining the sessions, attending very late. Over that, her parents expect me to be available any time to teach her because they reside very near to me and they expect that their daughter can come anytime to me and I will teach her, or make up for her missed sessions, etc.

When it comes to her other sessions, if she has another tutoring session with someone else that conflicts with my day and time (which is again on Friday at 7 PM), then her parents allow her to skip my classes and join that other tutoring session instead. After my session is skipped, her parents also expect that I make up for the session that she misses and manage to get me to agree by speaking in a way that's very clever and persuades me to allow it.

Yesterday, I talked with her father (who is the main person who takes my time, efforts and availability for granted). I clearly and boldly told him that I won't tolerate the lack of discipline and punctuality of his daughter's attendance, and I won't be making up for the sessions that she misses from her end. I also requested him not to take my classes for granted and give equal importance to my tutoring sessions, just like they give for the other tutors.

Furthermore, I told him that any additional skipping of tutoring sessions and I won't be able to make up for her because the burden keeps increasing. The multiple delays means that all the chapters that were supposed to be finished on time are now being pushed later and they will pile up and cause huge burden just before the final exams.

But her father instead started to get defensive about his daughter. He also started to question me on why I did not inform about his daughter's lack of discipline and punctuality before. I was stunned. Being her father, doesn't he know that his daughter is not being disciplined and punctual in attending my tutoring sessions? Is it not his responsibility as her parent? In fact, he is the one who gave her the freedom and flexibility to come to my tutoring sessions at any time she wants because she resides nearby, ruining all her discipline and sense of commitment to attend the sessions sincerely and study.

I somehow think that my efforts, time and availability are taken for granted. I am thinking that her father and mother think that I will do anything that they say and adapt according to their requests. And when I am approaching her parents regarding the lack of discipline and punctuality of their daughter, then her parents are going on the defensive instead of trying to come up with a solution.

How do I make the parents understand this situation without being too bold or rude?

Answer 1

The straightforward response is "I set aside these blocks of time to tutor your daughter, and I will be paid for those, even if your daughter was late or missed them entirely"

You are entirely within your rights to decline to schedule more, or you may if you wish, but I'd make sure you have already been for the time you already spent before agreeing to more.

You really can't talk people out of trying to pressure you for free stuff. If you give reasons, they will see opportunities to belittle your reasons. So just say no. And demand to be paid for the time you already invested. If they threaten to not pay, tell your parents, and anyone else you know who might be asked to tutor for this family.