Our son is 23 and still living at home. He is planning to leave the house next year and rent an apartment. He used to have a lot a friends and girlfriends too, but since the COVID epidemic in 2021 he doesn’t really do any social activities anymore. He studies at a university and has a part time job as a car deliverer (he drives rent cars to peoples homes), but other than that he doesn’t go to parties anymore or sees any friends. Should I be concerned about his mental health? Especially when he will leave the house and live on his own?
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2What is his affect at home? Does he seem depressed? The pandemic changed the habits of millions upon millions, some for the better (!) and some for the worse. Without more information, we can't possibly know if your son is fine or not (he certainly seems capable!) but with or without our input, you will worry about him once he's out of your house (parents do that.) Give more info if you want a better answer/help, or, if you think he's settled down some and is otherwise fine, trust and support his decisions.– anongoodnurseCommented Apr 27, 2023 at 13:47
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1Why do you think the amount of friends is how mental health is judged?– Neil MeyerCommented Apr 29, 2023 at 14:49
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3Sounds like your child has no interest in becoming the social butterfly you want him to be. Children have the right to become the people they want to be and many times that does not coincide with the vision there parents have for them. Being selective with the people he lets into his life or just focusing on work for a little bit is hardly a character fault.– Neil MeyerCommented Apr 29, 2023 at 14:53
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I think the answer lies in why your sons friend circle has gone to zero.– MarcoCommented May 24, 2023 at 20:20
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You have no real evidence that your son is disengaging from life other than he no longer wants to party with his pre-covid pals. During Covid, many young people changed their methods of interaction to online & whilst this may not be understandable to us oldiewonks, some online friendships can be both rich and valid. He may indeed have made different friends at university and in his part-time job but the problem seems he is no longer sharing those friendships and adventures with you. My kids are now 27 and 25 and I know they both share a lot less of their lives with me. You need to fret less– NikkiCommented Jul 27, 2023 at 11:06
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1 Answer
It's great that you care about him, especially during a major life change like moving. But I wouldn't worry so much if I were you. Let me explain why. I'm 23 myself, soon to be 24)) and my circle of friends is only shrinking. This is normal at this age and I personally do not feel depressed, on the contrary, for the first time I felt calm and comfortable, life is becoming much more serious and responsible. You can talk to him calmly and ask him about his mental well-being. But usually, when a person feels very bad, you will notice it by his appearance, ability to work or study, etc.
