My 5 year old son does not want to go to the toilet even if he has bowel movements and later he has to hurry. Occasionally he even poops to his pants (recently it happened to him in the kindergarden). You can easily recognize that he has bowel movements because he stops playing (or whatever is he doing) and lies on his belly and moves in specific way. We usually ask him in a mild way if he doesn't need to go to toilet but he almost always refuses.

He never complained about any pain during pooping. If he is late and you ask him why he didn't go earlier he says that he didn't know that he needed to go.

I tried rewarding him for going to the toilet but it worked only little and only for few days.

We didn't forced him to go believing that it is only matter of time but it does not improve and he is supposed to go to school next year.

What could we do to teach him to try to poop when he feels bowel movements?

3 Answers 3


I taught students with special needs and found that the easiest way to get things back on track was to put them on a bathroom schedule again. They soon tired of being sent to the washroom every 60 or 90 minutes and tell me they could go on their own. I did not need to be angry but would simply explain that wet/soiled pants meant they must need a little extra help and that if they wanted to take care of it, they could. If there was another accident, they'd be back on my schedule for a longer, tighter (45 minutes) period the next time. This interrupts them enough that they CHOOSE to go to the bathroom.

This advice assumes that your child has regular doctor appointments and that there is no health reason for the change. It also assumes that the school will support you in a bathroom schedule for a few days.


What a predicament! My son Johhny would always wait to pee, and would be dancing and jiving with holding onto his britches in the nether regions til it was almost too late. One time I had to unbutton his pants and he peed in the danged living room! The solution was to make him go when he does his dance. When you see him squimmin and squirmin then make him go to the potty, dont ask.


Both of my children did the same thing. They would get caught up in whatever thing they were doing and didn't want to take the time to go to the bathroom. What worked for us is reminding them, and reminding them that they won't get to play if they have an accident after we reminded them.

It took a couple of times for my daughter to realize that it was easier to go to the bathroom then having an accident. My son was easier, for some reason.

  • Neeley that's unusual -- boys are generally more difficult to toilet train. So consider yourself lucky!
    – WRX
    Dec 23, 2016 at 21:33
  • Oh, he was more difficult, in general! Our daughter took to it right away. He figured out the use-the-potty-not-the-pants thing around the same time as my daughter but had no desire to actually bother going to the potty. It wasn't until, at age three, a little girl at church told him he couldn't be her boyfriend and wear diapers. Being smitten with her, he came home and declared his intention to wear big boy pants. He had a couple of accidents, but generally none after that. A few times he waited too long, but that was not as bad as my daughter. Dec 27, 2016 at 21:35
  • get her a boyfriend? I am joking.
    – WRX
    Dec 27, 2016 at 21:40

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