My son's 11 year old (male) friend, whom I will call Mike for the sake of discussion, is loud and rude.
At the beginning of the school year, Mike asked me if I was willing to drive him home occasionally because he was left to walk 4 miles home (alone!) if I didn't drive him on the days his Mom couldn't drive him herself. It felt manipulative, but he lives close to me so driving him occasionally wasn't really a big deal.
I recently fell and hurt my back (herniated disk, torn muscle). My son asked if Mike could come over to our house to play. I was in so much pain, and unable to take pain killers because I had the carpool. I told them both I was in a tremendous amount of pain and just really needed to focus on resting, so, no, coming over was not a great idea at the time. Mike asked, "come on, why not?" Again, Mike is a loud kid. I told them I needed quiet time to recover. Mike said, "what, like the sound waves are really going to hurt your back?" How rude!
Mike's Mom has yet to ever reciprocate and take the carpool. She didn't even help when I hurt my back. She expects me to drive her son, and even got miffed when my son was absent and Mike needed a ride. Like I was supposed to go get him anyway?
How do I deal with Mike?
- I don't want to tell my son who he can and can't be friends with.
- I don't believe it's my place to correct Mike's behavior.
- I just need to know how to deal with a rude 11 year old.