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I really didn't expect this outcome. I expected "one hour of screen-time" to mean just that. The child learns to moderate the time spent on an iOS smartphone over waking hours.

In practice the child quickly uses up the hour of screen-time, and then continues indefinitely using the iPhone.

It turns out that there is a loophole. "One more minute" is available in each app. I have yet to figure out how it's used. It's not the case, for example, that an additional minute can be obtained for the same app, but perhaps it's possible to flip-flop between a pair of apps (games), or it's possible to uninstall then reinstall the same app.

That a child is willing to go through that much trouble to evade screen-time is by itself puzzling.

What is a reasonable solution to screen-time evasion?

I'm contemplating:

  1. withdrawing iOS and providing a dumb phone (and dealing with the child's wrath, plus endless comparisons with peers);
  2. replacing iOS with Android, which doesn't seem to have this loophole (oddly, this is more expensive, because of the ability to recycle a gently used device but one with otherwise good specs); or
  3. somehow convincing the child to abandon what starts to look like an addiction.

Have you been there? Did you find a good solution?

Note 1

What the operating system provides can quickly change. I have been having this problem with iOS releases up to and including iOS 17.

Note 2

iOS has an an additional constraint to refuse access during bedtime. Yet one additional setting enables one or more apps to be used regardless of the bedtime or screen-time constraints — notably to be able to call or send a message (seeking help, a ride, etc — the primary function for having a phone in the first place). Neither of these directly solves the main problem described above.

Note 3

(Added after BenjyTec's answer.)

I had already enabled "Block at Downtime" and "Block at End of Limit". They do not help.

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5
  • Have you explored any third party apps?
    – R Davies
    Commented Jun 17 at 7:51
  • 5
    How old is this child?
    – Paul Johnson
    Commented Jun 17 at 9:20
  • 1
    Recommend book Parent Effectiveness Training.
    – Hi computer
    Commented Jun 24 at 8:26
  • 1
    @Hicomputer References to books are very welcome, but just to confirm that Dr Thomas Gordon knows more about child psychology than — and I know I'm opening a can of worms — Dr Benjamin Spock before embarking on a study of his method, could you summarize (perhaps in an answer) what the resolution in this very specific case would be?
    – Sam7919
    Commented Jun 24 at 15:17
  • 1
    @Sam7919 Top of my head, only in my opinion, I would summarize the book with "do your best and hope for the best". I would really like that if I can manage to summarize something more useful as an answer, and I tried to do that, but I only read it once and I know it is really good, probably only for me. But I give the book to someone else, and I did not really have a chance to dive into it, and it would be wrong if I say something wrong or misleading. So I just left a comment.
    – Hi computer
    Commented Jun 25 at 2:10

2 Answers 2

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My answer focuses more on the parenting part rather than the technical side:

Take away the phone for a day after exceeding the hour.

Currently there are a few things going on:

  • Human curiosity coupled with children's creativity and a fun little challenge (the hour limit) to solve! Not bad intent, I see it as natural human behavior to explore boundaries.
  • No consequences if the hour limit is not respected.
  • Full access to the device, with its apps designed to be attractive.

The first bullet is not an issue. I think problem solving like this should be praised! Yes, it's not the situation where you want it, but the skill is useful. A lot more challenges will come, being able to problem solve those is a good skill to have. However:

There are no consequences. You said one hour and used some software to set that limit. Now your child found a loophole, broke the 1 hour rule and now: Nothing. So if it makes no difference to use or not use the devices, the 'use' option is more fun, so I understand why they do!

Time for consequences. I would go for something like this:

Hello Child :)

I'd like to have a little talk about the device usage. You know you're only supposed to be on those for one hour per day, but I've noticed you've found a loophole with the +1 minute.

While I must admit that it's a creative solution, you're not supposed to do that. We don't mind if you add 2 or 3 minutes to finish something, but it's not to extend it for longer periods of time.

Therefore we're updating the rule: If you're on your devices longer than one hour, then the next day there will be no device usage.
We also would like you to leave the phone at {SOME PLACE} after {AGREED UPON TIME}. It's OK if you want to turn it off and on the next day when you decide to use your hour.

You could add another part about that you know that it's not a fun new rule and explain why you have the rule. Your child doesn't have to agree, they just have to understand.

You could also add a reward: if all the weekdays went successfully, the weekend gets 2 hours per day, but that's up to you.

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  • Long comment. I have a hard time bringing myself to take the phone physically away. Could it be mine is a "different school" of parenting? Could it be that this "school" was flawed from the get-go? Example: I don't outright prevent the purchase of junk food trinkets at supermarket exit lanes. I lean down and read the ingredients — even before my child could read — and would ask "this chemical seems like a nasty substance. I can barely read the name. Are you sure you want to have that in your tummy?" It works. (tbc)
    – Sam7919
    Commented Jul 6 at 10:13
  • Now I'm wondering whether there might be a this-is-harmful argument that would lead the child to put down the phone, without the "violence" of the physical intervention of removing the phone. Besides, within a few years the child seems to be heading to be taller, and stronger, than me. If I start with the physical removal of the phone now, I would in any case have to rely on the voluntary surrendering of the phone at some point.
    – Sam7919
    Commented Jul 6 at 10:16
  • @Sam7919 you shouldn't have to wrestle the phone out of your kid's hands. If "give it to me/leave it here" doesn't work and you have no other strategies for getting your kid to listen when you tell them to do something, you have a separate problem.
    – Esther
    Commented Jul 9 at 18:23
  • Yeah, I think there's an intermediate step before wresting the phone from their grasp. Asking them to put their phone on charge somewhere or leave it in the kitchen when the hour is up etc. But make it clear that you are trusting them to do this, and if they repeatedly break that trust, you will start taking it away (not sure if with iOS you can remotely lock the device like with android?)
    – Smock
    Commented Aug 7 at 14:29
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I found this screenshot online:

Screenshot

Note the "Block at End of Limit" switch.
It should be located in the iOS settings under the following path:

Settings -> Screen Time -> App Limits -> choose a category -> Block at End of Limit

Have you tried this option? Unfortunately I can't verify right now it is available under iOS 17. If there is a loophole using "one more minute", this setting sounds as it could resolve it.

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