My wife is now pregnant with a second baby, this I think makes my first baby (20 months old) very jealous. As a result the first baby would want her mom to hold her all the time. If her mom refuses, she will just cry very, very loud.

How to stop the baby from behaving like this? We are very tired as a result of this.

What we have tried:

  1. Tell her nicely, repeatedly, that this is not acceptable
  2. Asking her daycare teachers opinion. But they don't have this problem with our baby because she is very well-behaved in daycare.
  3. Asking our parents how to solve this problem. The answer: Just give in to her ( we are not prepared to accept this!)

We are really at the end of our wits. That's why we are asking for help here.

  • Have you tried to address the jealousy? – Bart van Ingen Schenau Aug 8 at 5:31
  • @BartvanIngenSchenau, I've no idea how else I can address jealousy, beyond what I have already tried – Graviton Aug 8 at 10:10
  • @Graviton: In what you have tried, I read mostly attempts to deal with the clingy behavior, but not anything that tries to address the presumed cause (the jealousy). Try to find out what your first kid needs to feel secure of their place in the family. – Bart van Ingen Schenau Aug 8 at 10:44

I don't see that pregnancy can make a baby jealous like this. I'm not an expert, but children do become clingy for many reasons or for none at all.

My only suggestion is starting small: tell her you will put her down (possibly in a play pen with toys or something) for a couple of minutes, and then give her a big hug. Then repeat. If that works then start stretching the time. Maybe use a kitchen timer so she knows that when the bell goes she gets her hug.

I believe you can start from the following: - Leave her with her father for a couple of minutes. She won't feel alone. They should be busy with smth (play etc). The main reason not to be alone. But without mom. Then try to increase that time. In the middle mom needs to spend time with the baby. - Then leave her alone with toys for some time. Alternately spending time with the father. But less time with mom. Increase that time. - Then just leave her alone with toys. In the middle mom needs to spend time with the baby.

And a question from me: if there was a situation where you left her alone for some time and she was waiting alone and probably thought that she was abandoned?

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