I have 19mo old twin girls. Recently we have been noticing a change in their behavior to each other. They are jealous to each other about getting our attention. Whenever we are near, they fight with each other. They are also behaving very stubbornly. If they ask for something and they don't get, they become too much cranky. Being first time parent, we are little concerned, that, these behaviors do not become permanent. We are also clueless how to deal with the situation and pacify them.

Appreciate any help.

3 Answers 3


Sounds to me that you have two kids that are two years old going on twenty months. And what I mean by that is that it sounds like they are getting an early start on the "Terrible Twos". It's a perfectly normal stage where children start to become a little more independent and want control over their lives. And they protest loudly when they don't get it. Throwing fits, tantrums and loudly shouting "NO" are all likely to happen. Don't worry though, it is just a phase.

Just reassure your daughters that you love them. Give them all the attention they need and they will be just fine. You will have to constantly correct them, model appropriate behavior and work with them. It isn't easy. You will get frustrated. But just love them and keep at it and it will all work out.


This scenario always happens. If it is not too serious, it better to leave them to themselves to correct. That's a phase of their life. If it gets serious, try separating them and treating them independently of each other. Generally, these trends are not permanent and tend to change with various events in their lives. Try to create events where they tend to help each other.

  • I think it's better to let them know it's wrong to be jealous with other people as soon as possible. Feb 14, 2016 at 6:12
  • @User2012384 That's the toughest thing to do... If they realize that, then there is no problem at all. Feb 14, 2016 at 6:16
  • Yeah, so maybe it's better to use a stronger tune or even scold them to let them know you're loving them instead of leaving them alone Feb 14, 2016 at 6:19
  • @User2012384 I'm not sure 19month olds have the ability to understand that they are jealous of each other, even if their behaviior demonstrats that they are. (just sayin')
    – elbrant
    Dec 14, 2018 at 2:46

Specifically treat them as individuals.

I'm an identical twin, and though I don't recall being 19 months old, I do recall the feeling of needing to compete with my brother for attention.

Give each some individual time with you (but do make sure that it's equal time). They're individuals, but they'll spend a lot of their lives being treated as half of a set, so it's especially important that you emphasize treating them as individuals.

That goes into all aspects of your interaction, sure, it's cute when twins are dressed the same, but it steals a sense of individuality and inspires acting out in other ways to be differentiated. Many twins already have rhyming or alliterating first names, it only compounds the issue of individuality to also dress them the same.

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