@Erica -- that's not an answer, it's an opinion and a personal observation. Answers should be backed up by facts, and this isn't.

Simply, no -- it's not safe.

Given that you're worried about such things, and that you're asking for help, I'd say that you're going to be fine, and you should stop worrying. Good parents worry and seek help, the specific help doesn't matter -- just being that sort of parent is good enough. Enjoy your son, it'll be fine.

Have you tried feeding her adult food? We have been feeding our 18 month old daughter adult food almost since she started weaning. I remember having her suck on oven roasted brussels sprouts cooked in garlic oil, and poached salmon carefully crushed between my fingers. Tonight she had salmon and watercress tarts, and she's a big fan of smoked salmon. I think this is because we give her a varied diet and regularly take her to cafe's and restaurants. Her only problem now is she's not a big fan of eating raw fruit, but she will taste it before saying no to it. We just give her juice instead.