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I am a little over 3 months away from having my first child. My baby girl is due at the end of August/beginning of September. However, my parents live a 4.5 hours drive from where my wife and I live. So my concern is....Holidays (specifically Thanksgiving and Christmas). I assume a 4.5 hour car drive with 2 adults is really about a 5-6 hour car drive with a 2 to 3 month old and I'm not sure it would be healthy for the baby to travel that long.

Am I being an overly anxious new parent or would I be justified in telling the new grandparents they need to come to us for the Holidays this year or just not see us this year?

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I have a new motto for you. "Does (baby) care?"

Should I stay late at work so my boss likes me better? No. Because baby doesn't care.

You now make every decision with this motto. What's easier? For old people to drive 4 hours or for you to soothe a baby who just pooped all over herself and the car seat?

I've said this to my parents. "There will come a time when taking care of your needs will be my top priority. That time isn't now."

Doing a good job raising a baby is hard work. Harder than anyone has ever told you. For the sake of your baby and your sanity, remove every possible headache because you'll have enough.

When in doubt, ask yourself, "does baby care?"

Congratulations. After your child is born, everything else will seem insignificant.

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Am I being an overly anxious new parent or would I be justified in telling the new grandparents they need to come to us for the Holidays this year or just not see us this year?

I'm a new dad to a newborn and every baby is different, but my son HATES the car seat. It doesn't matter if the car is moving, his favorite music is playing, he's well fed, and he's sleepy. It's the straps of the car seat, which is why he hates the baby swing too. He will scream the entire way to the pediatrician's, which luckily for us is only 2 minutes away. He may grow out of this, but so far it's not happening.

Because your baby girl is due at end of August/beginning of September, she'll be around just under 3 months for Thanksgiving and closer to 4 months for Christmas. A lot could change in those couple of months. I'd err on the side of having the grandparent visit your home if you need to plan way in advance or just wait and see how your little one does in the car.

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  • Excellent answer. In a word, don't commit to travel. Wait and decide later.
    – Douglas Held
    Commented May 9, 2019 at 9:55
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First of all, most babies love to travel. They sleep well in a baby carseat (assuming you have a safe and comfy one). It is recommended not to have your baby in a car seat for more than two hours a day. A baby has to change position regularly to develop good motor skills.
But as you already mentioned, this trip you won't make everyday. So don't be afraid to make exceptions. (We did the same also with our newborn and he is now crawling just fine).
Just take a break every two hours for at least 15 minutes (which is recommended for adults as well). Bring a plaid or something that the baby can lie down and play for a while before you hit the road again.

Enjoy your holidays with the new grandparents!

Tip: We personally love the Deryan Travel-Cot for travelling, because it is a bed and a play-area. But others hate it, so it's up to you.

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