How does a parent's misophonia impact the child?

Question

Misophonia is hatred of sound. The condition causes the individual to have a reaction of sudden rage and stress and the need to get away from the sound. The sounds vary from individual to individual, but the common ones are chewing sounds. Other examples are sniffling, cracking, certain speech patterns and vocal frequency. The sounds which cause these reactions tend to have a pattern to them.

Chewing sounds and noisy eating, as well as sniffling are very common among children. Does it affect the level of bonding the parent can have with the child? I see quite a bit of archived reddit threads which discuss how the parent handles it for themselves, but how does it impact the child?

---

additional information:

I do not yet have a child. This is one of the deciding factors for which I will or will not have a child.

The sounds of reaction are eating, drinking, and sniffling, coughing. Sound of metal against plate etc. Anything with a repeated pattern.

The reaction varies depending on the sound and source of the sound. I usually leave. Ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones, music do not work in most cases. I have above average hearing acuity ( has been tested).

• Will it build resentment if I ask the child to stop making sounds?
• Will it cause bonding issues because I likely won't be able to take
  role in feeding?
• Will the child pick up the stress I feel?
• Will it cause behavior issues in the child in the long run?
• Will it cause them to be constantly self conscious and develop low self steam?

I would appreciate if someone who has a parent with misophonia, or a parent with misophonia who has raised a child that is currently in teenage years or higher, can speak from their experience.

While the experience may vary from person to person, it will at least give me some data on what to expect.

Answer 1

This is coming from someone who’s parent has quite a severe case of misophonia. They have a sensitivity to sounds of eating, coughing, clicking, sniffing, tapping, cutlery on plates, doors being shut loudly and also reactions to being suddenly touched. Growing up my parent would react angrily to these sounds and thus both me and my siblings have to come to feel as though we have to walk on eggshells around them. When my parent comes home from work I feel tense as I know I now need to be wary of what I do. My parents sensitivity to touch has also meant I couldn’t easily show affection through hugs as even brushing against them can trigger them. My wariness around my parent has also translated into other issues. When telling my parent something has been broken it has become a much more scary thing as that feeling of anxiety around them is still there. My parents misaphonia has definitely affected both me and my siblings relationship with my parent. It my opinion that misophonia, especially more severe cases, have a big effect on your child. I hope this gives you some insight.

Answer 2

My mum has misophonia. She is extremely annoyed by loud children, sounds of kids outside playing, but also a few non child-related sounds. It is to a point where I am worried that when I have my own kids it will be difficult for her to spend time with them. I only realized this when I was an adult. So honestly, I do not know if she has developed this later in life, but I assume she did not. She was always bothered by sounds, only the child-related things came to my awareness after I definitely had stopped being the cause of such sounds. I think she might have had the problem when I was little but somehow it did not bother her so much with her own child. She also was often able to divert me (I wasn't a particularly loud child, maybe because of that.) If she did have it already, as a child I never new that I was bothering her in any way.

Answer 3

I'm not exactly able to answer your question in regards to being a parent of a teenager as my only child is just an infant. However, I feel that I may be able to offer some insight from my point of view. I have a severe case of Misophonia.

As far as the eating sounds go, I am not bothered by my 10 month old when I wear earplugs. I know that he cannot help it so it's different. If an adult was sucking on a bottle making the same noise, I would flip out and then cry, and flip out again.

I do not buy toys that will allow my son to create any trigger sounds. Even when he does make noise, I am not bothered. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS ABILITY TO IGNORE MY CHILD'S SOUNDS.

I am unsure what will happen as he gets older. I am afraid to reveal my issues to him in fear that he will begin to obtain his own triggers. This is actually something that I instilled in my younger sister. (only 2 years younger). When we would get angry at each other, we would both retaliate by making smacking noises with our mouths underneath the door through the crack. Since we have grown up, her sound issues have dramatically decreased, while my issues have increased.

Answer 4

I can't answer form the perspective of mysophonia, but there are similar issues with the sort of brain damage I have that may offer insights.

I suspect infancy and toddlerhood may pose some issues for you that I didn't have to deal with.

My teenaged (now adult) daughter has a hard time because her inclination to help often led to a territorial response from me. Since that was before we realized it was a territorial response, she would try to patch things up by talking about them, after I had alreafy forgotten about them (say 15 to 30 minutes) which only tended to escalate things.

In contrast, my younger son who has grown up as my condition developed knows when to back off or be quiet, without coaching. If I'm at my desk he will walk up and tap his ear to ask if I'm in a meeting. If I tap my headset (saying I am in a meeting) he goes of to do something else until I am free. Otherwise I take off my headset and we cuddle, play, or look at one of his projects together.

We do normal father son things like camping, games clubs, and watching our favorite shows together. I help him with his YouTube channel, and he plays a role in my webcasting and YouTube work.

Much of what I describe is "task oriented" in nature, because that is how I connect with people. That is one of my limitations, between autism and brain injury. Your experience will likely differ, and be fully enjoyable with the right support