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The baby is one month old. She is bottle fed with mostly breast milk.

We feed on demand and keep a log. While the timing is somewhat predictable - every 1.5 to 2 hours during the day and 3-4 hours during night, we discovered she would ask for bottle even when she is full - so she will just suck and then spits out the milk. She will not sleep without being offered a bottle. One example is

  1. Feed her 60 mL, finished all. Burp and she asked for more.
  2. Feed her 30 mL, finished all. Burp and she asked for more.
  3. Feed her 30 mL, finished 20 mLs and pushed the bottle away. Burp and spit out some milk, she asked for more anyways.

So we conclude that she is already full, and only ask for more because she want to suck something to sleep. She went on to stress mode. We took turns holding her and eventually, she fell asleep to roughly the next expected feed time.

My wife is concerned about

  1. She is being overfed - instead of feed to full, we are essentially doing feed to sleep. She is taking in about 800 to 950 mLs per day, at 8 pounds which seems high compared to other reference.
  2. She is forming a "feed to sleep" sleep association. I personally disagree a sleep association can be formed for a 1 month old but \_(ツ)_/.
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    Is your baby offered a pacifier? Some babies have a strong "suck" instinct, and it is more of a calming thing than an eating thing. – Ron Beyer Sep 21 '17 at 15:52
  • "I personally disagree a sleep association can be formed for a 1 month old but _(ツ)_/." I agree. I mean, look at her life. What does she do? She gets held, eats, sleeps, poops, pees, gets diaper changes, looks at vague fuzzy objects, hears you talk, maybe hears music. She wants and needs all these things. Please don't worry about it. Try a pacifier, and use your pediatrician as a source of information. If they aren't helpful, find one who is. They are in it for the love of children. They care. – anongoodnurse Sep 21 '17 at 16:10
  • I would definitely recommend you to get a bottle which will allow paced feeding. Babies that old generally like to suck and suck for a long time. As a mother who has fed directly; ( it would sometime last 4 hours at a stretch); also babies go through growth spurts ( 4 to 5 of them in the first year) and during these spurts, the babies are hungrier, sleepier or more cranky ; and with direct feeding it helps regulate the flow of breast milk for the mom – bhavs Sep 22 '17 at 8:34
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It doesn't sound to me like she is overfeeding. If you are concerned on it though, you can offer the bottles pace fed, as that should eliminate that as a potential. This video demonstrates how to pace feed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH4T70OSzGs

Overall you would generally anticipate that a baby that is breastfed takes in about 25ounces per 24hrs by a month with a range of 700-900mL.

The research tells us that exclusively breastfed babies take in an average of 25 oz (750 mL) per day between the ages of 1 month and 6 months. Different babies take in different amounts of milk; a typical range of milk intakes is 19-30 oz per day (570-900 mL per day).

From Kellymom (a generally well respected resource on breastfeeding)

A lot of currently popular sleep training books talk about this feed association. I do think that children can have this, but not this early. At this age, a full belly makes them drowsy and falling asleep while eating happens, a lot. Also, a feed to sleep association is only a problem if it's causing you a problem. Then, if it is, you can change that. It is far more work to try to avoid having it become habit than changing the habit. All of my birth children nursed to sleep for ages. I loved it. It made putting them down so fast. Then, when it was no longer a helpful thing, we made changes that helped them transition to being able to fall asleep while not nursing.

Everything you listed (eating every 1.5-2 in day & 3-4 at night) sounds absolutely normal and in fact very good at one month. Mine were all doing 1.5-2 day and night at a month (also normal).

And to reiterate a comment from anongoodnurse, you can always call your Dr. When it comes to young babies (particularly if it's your first) or in pregnancy, I call whenever I have any question. I am not going to call after hours or anything unless it's urgent, but they often have very knowledgeable staff that can be very helpful as well as being very willing to discuss any questions you may have personally when they go beyond the staff's education. It also helps you with relationship building and confidence in them, as you have more of a chance to get to know them a little. This is helpful when/if you do ever have an urgent matter, as you feel more like you trust them to handle it more.

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