As a preivous competitive gamer I have spent my time listening to the conversations of players of all ages interacting while playing. Though their tone, topic, meaning and reference of these conversations may vary you can definitely make out the "griefers" of the bunch. As a new parent I relent the day my daughter can use an internet based device and she gets a private life of her own but it will be good to keep track of her exposure to the real world. Here are some things to remember:
- Kids that play online games use it as a time to get to know their friends better. Whether they know it or not, the game is working as a distraction for their cognitive skills and they are subconsciously listening to tone and meaning. With that information they are able to make decisions on who they can and can't get along with in the real world.
- I agree with you that racism starts at home but also remember at this age they maybe interacting with older kids and that can have a MAJOR impact on their views and thoughts. (This is in reference to your comment where the child said "it went over your head" meaning they heard it from someone, possibly an older child, and they didn't understand it, hence the older child said it to him, until another person told them the meaning)**.
- Kids are naturally inquisitive so asking you is their first step toward finding out what they want to know. Unless they are satisfied with the information you provided them, they will go searching the Internet for the information they want. (This actually for you is the best thing that he asked you first, so at least you can give him some context as well as try to shape what you see on the issue before he is poisoned by a Google search on the Internet).
** I realize this was confusing but read it carefully.
I know it is a lot to think about but this is a topic you can gauge your childs growing experience with real world issues and direct them in the right way and also see how they are able to handle such issues.
Here are a few things I suggest and in my opinion would be helpful:
- Do your best to answer the question and try to remain open and receptive. A quick shutdown answer is only going to push them toward the Internet faster.
- Also talk to your child to see how well they know the other person and see what level of influence or social stance they hold with your child. This can help ease your mind as to how they take their views and jokes.
- Keep an eye on future conversations and see if this persists with the same child. I know you can't monitor your child's interactions in real life but at least keeping an eye on this kind of situation can give you an insite into what is going on with them in social circles.
- Remember kids can be mean. The offending child maybe trying to act cool outside of school to show an alpha personality when in social situations away from the screen they revert back to submissiveness. Another good reason to continue to monitor.
- If it persists, talk to the childs parents openly. They may not know what is going on in their son's life if they are being influenced by an older child or sibling. This may help open their eyes to their own child's needs whether they are harboring a growing bully or a closet aggressive reverting to a submissive in social situations.
- If talking to the parents reveals they maybe the source then I would alert the parents of the other children in that situation. At this point they should be alerted if they don't already know that they their child maybe getting the beginnings of a much bigger issue of HATE and steps should be taken to safeguard and prepare them.
I hope this helps in some way but I feel by your description that you are in a really good position to lean them on the right path and they have grow well by your teaching and that they are comfortable enough with you at that age to ask these kinds of questions.
On the outset dare I say to them you maybe a great mentor or a hero.
Suggestions posted here are my opinion and are only posted in an effort to rationalize the situation as well as bring some thought to the position described.