Timeline for How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
7 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 22, 2020 at 5:04 | vote | accept | Stephie♦ | ||
| Dec 21, 2020 at 20:17 | comment | added | Hilmar | @Stephie: t understand that it FEELS like reward and punishment, but it's not exactly what's happening and the more you talk and think about it this way, the more your child will see it the same way too. Maybe a better framework is long term happiness vs instant gratification. You don't eat the tub of ice cream since it's more important to you to stay healthy and fit. Maybe you can help her feel good about the decision: she did the "right" thing and protected herself and her family and that's more important than missing a party. | |
| S Dec 21, 2020 at 13:26 | history | suggested | Kat | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
fixing typos
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| Dec 21, 2020 at 2:39 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Dec 21, 2020 at 13:26 | |||||
| Dec 20, 2020 at 23:25 | comment | added | curiousdannii | You say 'don't judge', but children do need to learn to think critically, which includes evaluating the values and choices of others. Ignoring COVID restrictions can be a serious health risk, and reflects an attitude to the government and the law that the OP and OP's daughter may not want to adopt. Talking critically with the daughter about what her friends did will be important, as well as thinking ahead of time how to explain their choices to her friends. You can do all of that without being judgemental or disrespectful (even though you may not in the end respect their choices at all.) | |
| Dec 20, 2020 at 22:37 | comment | added | Stephie♦ | I deliberately used the terms reward and punishment in the question (not with the child), as they pretty much sum up how it feels. And looking at the problem from another angle, rule breaking can be inherently (self-)rewarding when you get what you want even though you weren’t supposed to. | |
| Dec 20, 2020 at 16:27 | history | answered | Hilmar | CC BY-SA 4.0 |