Return to Answer

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. It’s not the parents’ choice, but there are laws in place so that there’s rarely a choice - except for example in cases where the parents have different surnames and can chose one of theirs. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit, originated in other European languages, kept an old-fashioned meaning, or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater” (again translated from German and someone I know.)

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. It’s not the parents’ choice, but there are laws in place so that there’s rarely a choice - except for example in cases where the parents have different surnames and can chose one of theirs. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit, originated in other European languages, kept an old-fashioned meaning, or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater”¹ (again translated from German and someone I know.)

———-

¹ No, the name doesn’t indicate someone prone to violence, but a lumberjack working for or employed at a monastery of nuns.

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit, originated in other European languages, kept an old-fashioned meaning, or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater” (again translated from German and someone I know.)

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. It’s not the parents’ choice, but there are laws in place so that there’s rarely a choice - except for example in cases where the parents have different surnames and can chose one of theirs. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit, originated in other European languages, kept an old-fashioned meaning, or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater” (again translated from German and someone I know.)

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit or kept an old-fashioned meaning or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater” (again translated from German and someone I know.)

In most cases, the very simple answer is “They don’t”.

A surname in a western context is not just the term for a name in a specific position of a list (the by no means universal pattern of first / middle / last name), a surname in modern times is a family name, inherited typically via the patrilineal route. The concept of family names and of individual surnames was known in Roman times already, then somewhat lost in the Middle Ages. Informally, distinguishing between lots of Toms, Johns and Henris in a village happend usually via a personal qualifier, which could be a physical property, a profession or a place of origin or similar. At some point, rising bureaucracy “cemented” these into family names, so that after a few generations John Black could be blonde and blue-eyed, James Smith a lawyer and Richard Attenborough was born in Cambridge, not Nottinghamshire. But the terms are often enough “normal English words”, as you already noted. And some names have shifted a bit, originated in other European languages, kept an old-fashioned meaning, or are terms a modern English speaker is probably unfamiliar with, which yes, can be a thing kids get laughed at for. (But just one of many.)

The fact that some parents (and hence websites, making a profit via advertising) are very keen on debating given names is based to a significant degree on the fact that usually the surname / last name / family name is fixed, so that the creative energy some parents seem to possess goes into picking out given names. And some combinations of given and family names are possibly a bit, ummmm, clumsy. I know someone who’s parents named him Blue Berry (not verbally translated, but you get the idea). In some cases, people with nowadays “strange” or “offensive” surnames chose to change theirs at some point in their lives, some pick the name of their spouse when they get married, others go the legal route. And some proudly carry theirs as family heritage, even though it’s “Womanbeater” (again translated from German and someone I know.)