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wizzwizz4
wizzwizz4
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  • Explain what's happening, and why. (You don't need to go into deep details about psychology or malicious actors, but make sure the basic understanding is there, or he'll just work around / ignore your restrictions.)
  • Set time limits for “dangerous” things, but not for “safe” things.
  • Don't allow new software to be installed from “dangerous” sources (e.g. the internet, the Play Store) without asking you first, but do allow it from “safe” sources (e.g. the F-Droid store; the worst things there are Fedi clients that require external sign-up).
  • Don't allow registering new online accounts without asking first.
    • Instead of just saying “yes” or “no”, talk it through, aiming to teach the decision-making process.
  • Consider buying a hackable laptop for him; perhaps the Pinebook Pro. (Ask first! He might not want it; for some weird reason, not everyone is interested in these sorts of things.) So long as it has regular scheduled backups (so an accidental rm * only does a day's damage), it's a nice environment to mess around ina nice environment to mess around in – plus, having your own computer is a big thing that might help compensate for new restrictions.
  • Explain what's happening, and why. (You don't need to go into deep details about psychology or malicious actors, but make sure the basic understanding is there, or he'll just work around / ignore your restrictions.)
  • Set time limits for “dangerous” things, but not for “safe” things.
  • Don't allow new software to be installed from “dangerous” sources (e.g. the internet, the Play Store) without asking you first, but do allow it from “safe” sources (e.g. the F-Droid store; the worst things there are Fedi clients that require external sign-up).
  • Don't allow registering new online accounts without asking first.
    • Instead of just saying “yes” or “no”, talk it through, aiming to teach the decision-making process.
  • Consider buying a hackable laptop for him; perhaps the Pinebook Pro. (Ask first! He might not want it; for some weird reason, not everyone is interested in these sorts of things.) So long as it has regular scheduled backups (so an accidental rm * only does a day's damage), it's a nice environment to mess around in – plus, having your own computer is a big thing that might help compensate for new restrictions.
  • Explain what's happening, and why. (You don't need to go into deep details about psychology or malicious actors, but make sure the basic understanding is there, or he'll just work around / ignore your restrictions.)
  • Set time limits for “dangerous” things, but not for “safe” things.
  • Don't allow new software to be installed from “dangerous” sources (e.g. the internet, the Play Store) without asking you first, but do allow it from “safe” sources (e.g. the F-Droid store; the worst things there are Fedi clients that require external sign-up).
  • Don't allow registering new online accounts without asking first.
    • Instead of just saying “yes” or “no”, talk it through, aiming to teach the decision-making process.
  • Consider buying a hackable laptop for him; perhaps the Pinebook Pro. (Ask first! He might not want it; for some weird reason, not everyone is interested in these sorts of things.) So long as it has regular scheduled backups (so an accidental rm * only does a day's damage), it's a nice environment to mess around in – plus, having your own computer is a big thing that might help compensate for new restrictions.
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wizzwizz4
wizzwizz4
  • 131
  • 7

The benefit you got from screens was from using hackable systems; most screens I got most of the same benefit without 'net access, and with only 30 minutes access a week (later, a day), because I just had access to an old Windows 98 SE notebook (and, later, an old Windows XP laptop), a DVD full of mostly-compatible arcade games, and a folder of flash games.

Yeah, the games were fun, but most of the interest came from figuring out how the computer ran them (that some of them would only run in MS-DOS mode, and some of them wouldn't run at all), what .EXE files actually were (including my first “Hello world” program: corrupting an executable with Notepad, then changing the resulting “this program can not be run in MS-DOS mode” message)…

Here are some recommendations that I think might replicate this sort of environment:

  • No WLAN / Internet bridge. Internet comes from the Ethernet cable, and it's somewhere awkward. They can do basic research, access Flash games (RIP Shockwave Flash, 1996–2020), and download pages for later reading, but are mostly free from the major harms of the modern web. If they figure out how to get the computer to act as a bridge – which can definitely be accomplished in Windows 8.1 just by exploring the UI (with admin access) – then they've probably earned less awkward internet access.
    • Downloading webpages will make it easier to realise they're just fancy text files.
  • No, or only niche, social media. Definitely nothing with the concept of an “influencer”. Text-based enthusiast forums and IRC-like chat are the most public things 9 year olds should be getting involved in. (Even Stack Exchange is probably a stretch.) Scratch is a safe introduction to these things (though make sure you're blocking Google Analytics).
  • Hackable operating systems. Modern Android and iOS (and Windows, if you're using Metro apps) are not hackable. Things like Debian are.
  • Limited screen time. If you have to plan what you're going to spend your computer time on, you're going to go in knowing what you want to do, and spend it doing fun stuff. Addictive, manipulative interfaces don't work as well when you're not looking at them.
    • If you notice your child is interested in something good, like programming, consider having that not count towards screen time.
  • There are at least three IDEs present. I recommend:
    • Python 3 IDLE,
    • a Squeak-based version of Scratch (or a variant; Build Your Own Blocks is particularly good) and
    • a lightweight text editor with syntax highlighting (e.g. Geany, Notepad++).

These rules follow some themes:

  • Protection from the exploitative aspects of the modern internet.
    • No addictive-design social media.
    • No adware.
    • Internet access has a small associated cost.
      • This can also be accomplished by an “ask first” policy.
  • The computer is not a black box.
    • This does not guarantee that your child will be interested in how it works, but it means that if they are, they're able to find out.
  • Things that the computer can do are not negative. Fun “wastes of time”, fun and educational, boring but educational, or interestingness-neutral tools (e.g. Paint, LibreOffice)… but never harmful.

Of course, not all of these are particularly applicable, here. Your son is 9, and I assume he's had pretty unrestricted access to consumption- (or social-)oriented computer systems for some time. Just taking these away is not likely to go down well.

So what I recommend instead:

  • Explain what's happening, and why. (You don't need to go into deep details about psychology or malicious actors, but make sure the basic understanding is there, or he'll just work around / ignore your restrictions.)
  • Set time limits for “dangerous” things, but not for “safe” things.
  • Don't allow new software to be installed from “dangerous” sources (e.g. the internet, the Play Store) without asking you first, but do allow it from “safe” sources (e.g. the F-Droid store; the worst things there are Fedi clients that require external sign-up).
  • Don't allow registering new online accounts without asking first.
    • Instead of just saying “yes” or “no”, talk it through, aiming to teach the decision-making process.
  • Consider buying a hackable laptop for him; perhaps the Pinebook Pro. (Ask first! He might not want it; for some weird reason, not everyone is interested in these sorts of things.) So long as it has regular scheduled backups (so an accidental rm * only does a day's damage), it's a nice environment to mess around in – plus, having your own computer is a big thing that might help compensate for new restrictions.