Timeline for How much protection from me coming out as a transwoman does my child need?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| May 31, 2020 at 21:00 | history | tweeted | twitter.com/StackParenting/status/1267199197322846209 | ||
| May 30, 2020 at 17:59 | answer | added | anongoodnurse | timeline score: 7 | |
| May 30, 2020 at 3:57 | comment | added | Kat | Your bullets are really confusing. Can you make them each a complete sentence or get rid of the bullets so they aren't breaking up a sentence? | |
| May 29, 2020 at 23:05 | comment | added | user36162 | Also, there are many ways to not be cis. Trans is a wide umbrella. You seem troubled by the idea that you may not always feel the way you do now. Well, then, maybe you'll find out you're gender fluid instead. Or bigender. Or non binary. That you'd actually be a cis person who mistook some other identity issue for trans seems really far fetched to me, but even in that scenario, if you return to be a cis man, you will only have given your children a broader definition of what and how a man can be. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 20:08 | answer | added | Elmy | timeline score: 20 | |
| May 29, 2020 at 15:05 | comment | added | user91988 | It sounds like no matter what happens, your wife is going to leave you. Be prepared. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 15:03 | comment | added | user36162 | Tell your wife you want to see a paediatrician to make sure recent studies prove children are not harmed by having a parent who is forced to conceal their gender identity. She is setting you up for failure with a negative that may turn out to be hard to prove. It sounds like she does not, in fact, accept your coming out. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 14:48 | comment | added | Akron | so far I am sure I want to colour my hair and get pierced ears. Then possibly I'll try more or less neutral nail colour. (I've painted my nails couple of times in my life for a weekend and it was feeling good). What I want is to find out is what I am beyond cautious stealh mode of last years. I can't tell you today I am for sure going the full way long but the first steps feel right. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 14:40 | comment | added | AsheraH | Have you figured out for yourself what you want in the end? There is a big difference between painting your nails for a night out and a full on transformation and the level of what your daughter needs to know about it may depend on it. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 14:23 | comment | added | Akron | yeah, for example. From experiencing me with - say in steps - coloured/styled blond hair, pierced ears (both might be ok but with a stretch), finally nails. From telling that to other children which would start telling stupid things. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 14:10 | comment | added | Stephie♦ | @Akron just to understand better: Protected from seeing you wearing nail polish? From what exactly should the child be protected. Sorry if this seems curious, but I really just want to understand better what your wife considers “ok” and what not. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 13:32 | comment | added | Akron | that the child has to be protected from these changes. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 13:21 | comment | added | Kevin | "My wife says she accepts my coming out and my needs in this direction but wants that neither she (which is desirable for her though not the topic here. She explains her attitude it's for aesthetics reasons/her personal taste.) nor our daughter (4 yrs old) should notice that (which is the topic here)." I don't understand what your wife is asking for here? Wants that...what? | |
| May 29, 2020 at 12:56 | history | edited | Akron | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
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| May 29, 2020 at 12:03 | comment | added | Stephie♦ | Tough question (and sorry, I don’t have any studies available, so just a comment from me). But maybe a thought that could help: Remember that especially younger kids usually are surprisingly accepting of the “it is like it is”, experiment themselves a lot in play and are less hampered by “established social norms“ and “how it should be”. | |
| May 29, 2020 at 9:21 | history | edited | Akron | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
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| May 29, 2020 at 9:16 | history | migrated | from interpersonal.stackexchange.com (revisions) | ||
| May 29, 2020 at 8:31 | history | asked | Akron | CC BY-SA 4.0 |