Timeline for My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
9 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sep 9, 2017 at 9:29 | comment | added | rackandboneman | It would be in their right to punish her IF damage has been done to them (if they will have to pay her speeding ticket) - actually, giving just that choice (face our consequences - or face your own consequences (by paying your own ticket)) sounds fair! | |
| Sep 7, 2017 at 19:46 | comment | added | Kzqai | I can imagine being a little more careful when driving fast if I had to do highway road-side pickup, being on the other side of the car door is a lot less fun. | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 14:11 | comment | added | kingfrito_5005 | @TOOGAM You can be punished twice for committing two crimes at once. You cannot be punished for the same crime twice. You used just the right words. Double jeopardy is a term that references the 5th amendment which bans it explicitly. | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 9:36 | comment | added | ave | @TOOGAM I disagree. When you punish someone at home and they get punished outside home, that person will not feel welcome anywhere. While I'm not a medical professional, I think that it's quite clear that this can lead to stress or depression, and can lead to more rebellion. Don't push people away by punishing them, pull them even closer and give them a humane treatment, talk with them (preferably some time after the event so that they can calm down) and discuss about their actions. But don't punish them even more. | |
| Sep 1, 2017 at 5:19 | comment | added | TOOGAM | @kingfrito_5005 : Why not use double-jeopardy? As an adult, I can be punished both criminally and civilly. Here's the perspective how this topic related to me: Growing up, I was given high expectations about behavior in school. If school threatened me with detention, the reason I found that significantly threatening is that my parents would find out when I didn't get home when expected (especially they'd find out during the years when I had to use a bus). If a school provides an insufficient punishment, why should parents withhold from having a useful impact? | |
| Aug 31, 2017 at 17:22 | comment | added | kingfrito_5005 | @RobbG EXACTLY. You do not punish a child for being punished. If they get detention, you don't groundthem for it, if they get a ticket you dont take away their privileges (driving privileges maybe, if there is a cost to you via insurance or if you are concerned about their safety.) | |
| Aug 31, 2017 at 3:40 | comment | added | rackandboneman | OK, my unqualified comment as a non-parent bystander: I think what this answerer suggest is an ABSENCE of "the plan". Any meddling, be it punitive (additional discipline) or enabling (paying part of the fines), from your side just distorts the responsibility and makes it look arbitrary/negotiable. | |
| Aug 30, 2017 at 22:10 | comment | added | RobbG | I can't upvote this enough. She's responsible for paying the fine but that's her punishment, she should have a job of some kind (if not, she'll need to get a job to pay for the ticket) so that'll be punishment enough. Don't lecture her about how what she did was wrong or try and pile additional punishments on top otherwise she'll just resent you for it. Also extra +1 for "as teenagers we did stupid things too" | |
| Aug 30, 2017 at 20:25 | history | answered | Anoplexian | CC BY-SA 3.0 |