10 or so years ago, I went through something very similar as a 18 year old girl. I tell this story as an example of how these things can work, if delt with appropriately.

I met a boy online, 5 years older than me, and we became very good friends. I told my parents about him, and (as parents do) they were very sceptical. They happened to by travelling to his part of the country and met up with him for coffee while they were there.

A few months later, he flew to meet me. My parents knew he was coming, they approved, and they came with to the airport to fetch him. He stayed at our home while he was visiting. We all got on very well with him. He was legitimate and honest.

We started dating, he eventually moved to where I lived, and now we've been married for 7 years.

So how did this go so well?

• I told my parents about him. Your daughter has done the same. This is great! It means that she trusts you and isn't hiding this from you.
• My parents were careful to be sure he was legitimate. They met him themselves, without me. It just so happened they were able to do so in person, but this could also be over skype, a video call, whatever.
• They were involved in the entire process. This was a "family" thing. It wasn't just my mission. My parents made it our mission.

Another thing that is also appropriate is that you talk to the friend's parents. My parents did try, but weren't able to get into contact with my (then) boyfriend's parents because of other reasons, but it is really important that they are on board too.

You are much better equipped to help your daughter through this - she can't handle this minefield alone.

10 or so years ago, I went through something very similar as a 18 year old girl. I tell this story as an example of how these things can work, if delt with appropriately.

I met a boy online, 5 years older than me, and we became very good friends. I told my parents about him, and (as parents do) they were very sceptical. They happened to by travelling to his part of the country and met up with him for coffee while they were there.

A few months later, he flew to meet me. My parents knew he was coming, they approved, and they came with to the airport to fetch him. He stayed at our home while he was visiting. We all got on very well with him. He was legitimate and honest.

We started dating, he eventually moved to where I lived, and now we've been married for 7 years.

So how did this go so well?

• I told my parents about him. Your daughter has done the same. This is great! It means that she trusts you and isn't hiding this from you.
• My parents were careful to be sure he was legitimate. They met him themselves, without me. It just so happened they were able to do so in person, but this could also be over skype, a video call, whatever.
• They were involved in the entire process. This was a "family" thing. It wasn't just my mission. My parents made it our mission.
• My parents took me seriously. They respected my desire to meet this friend. It wasn't brushed off and immediately just turned down as a crush. They respected my desire and treated me as an adult. (This was something I suppose I'd earned, but not consciously. My parents and I had a great relationship by this point).

It is also appropriate is that you talk to the friend's parents. My parents did try, but weren't able to get into contact with my friend's parents because of other reasons, but it is really important that they are on board too.

You are much better equipped to help your daughter through this - she can't handle this minefield alone.