Timeline for My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
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9 events
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| Sep 30, 2016 at 15:47 | comment | added | Graham | @AndrewMattson I think we're coming from the same place. As you say, a key feature of martial arts training is being able to keep a lid on yourself. So verbal abuse is more likely to be something you can tune out - contrary to Paul's opinion, the victim is more likely to ride it out. But having some basic ability to defend yourself against physical assault is a key life skill, and the more likely you are to be assaulted, the more essential it is to have that in reserve. | |
| Sep 30, 2016 at 14:04 | comment | added | PoloHoleSet | @Graham - True, but you also are wrong about martial arts vs bullying. I've taught and assisted on numerous martial arts anti-bullying seminars, and we don't teach them to physically confront in response to verbal bullying. We teach them to walk away whenever possible, to speak up for themselves, and to get responsible adults involved. we give them the skills to deal with the situation of the bully initiates a physical confrontation, but any martial arts program that teaches a kid to go and kick a bully's butt as anything but a last resort is a poor one. | |
| Sep 30, 2016 at 11:00 | comment | added | Graham | @AndrewMattson I agree that it's not the primary tool. But it gives some backup against the bullying which the OP and other people are expecting. | |
| Sep 30, 2016 at 10:54 | comment | added | Graham | @PaulJohnson Any competent teacher will recognise provocation. If teachers at your child's school are that incompetent, then relying on their anti-bullying policy is not just stupid but dangerous. And bullies will already be using verbal abuse. | |
| Sep 30, 2016 at 4:39 | comment | added | mtraceur | It really, really varies by the bullies. The bullies at my cousin's school responded to him fighting back by just ganging up on him. At the end of the day, there's a lot of complex factors involved. Martial arts can help provide self-esteem and confidence (and to some degree, survivability in violence, though many martial arts schools under-teach or mis-teach for the real thing [citation needed]), which shows in body language and mannerism after a point, which can help dissuade bullies as well - so I'm not saying it's valueless - just not sufficient on its own, and problematic in some cases. | |
| Sep 29, 2016 at 21:23 | comment | added | PoloHoleSet | As much as I personally love martial arts, and would certainly recommend it to anyone, including Emily, in general, I don't think that's the primary tool needed to deal with what she is and will be going through. Paul's version of what martial arts teaches, to bullies, seems like a pretty cartoonish characterization, though, as well. | |
| Sep 29, 2016 at 20:14 | comment | added | Paul Johnson | I strongly disagree. If you or your child are being bullied at school you need to get the school authorities on your side. Talk to the school, get their anti-bullying policy, and make them stick to it. Martial arts just teaches the bullies to use verbal violence until the victim loses it, at which point they can cry to teacher, and teacher has to punish the victim for being violent. | |
| Sep 29, 2016 at 16:03 | history | edited | Graham | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Sep 29, 2016 at 12:34 | history | answered | Graham | CC BY-SA 3.0 |