Sometimes us parents fear for the worst, but hope for the best. Your question started by using the word "pedophilia" and that defined the course of the conversation. But let us take a deeper look...

As anyone well versed in sex will tell you, physicality is one of the components. The mind, though, is the primary component. This holds true in positive and negative sexual encounters. Everyone wants something. A predator intuitively knows this, but as importantly it is true about predators too! To know what someone wants requires an exploration:

• Did he emphasize the young age? As if though that factor is what excited him?
• Did he mention the young age? As if though that concerned him?

Sometimes a person finds themselves attracted to someone only to learn that by their own standards that attraction is inappropriate and they subsequently reject it.

The fact that the attraction existed for a moment and when the truth was known, rejected is an important consideration. Think of the adult man/woman who says, "wow, that person is so hot!" And when told "that person" is 15, replies, "Wow, they look older!" and turns to other activities without another thought. A right-minded individual would not proclaim, "Pedophile! Call the police!"

The lines can be fuzzy from a legal perspective, too. In some jurisdictions 18 or less is a fine line while in others it is expressed as a difference in age... neither of which addresses the fundamental point: a difference in mind.

To a certain degree, sexual behavior is an expression of power (and, hopefully, more an expression of love!) If one enjoys being dominant and loving, who would complain? If, on the otherhand, one enjoys controlling those who s/he finds inferior and obedient... one who can be conquered and manipulated according to his/her whims of the moment... and is only tangentially concerned with the welfare of the other person, well, then who would not complain?

When I was 14, I convinced myself that because I did not hurt them, that what I did with my stepbrothers was not bad. When I was 15 they sent me to a group home for treatment with 3 therapists. When I was 17, I learned the lesson I was most missing... not from them as I continued my behavior until I realized this one point which I pledged my life upon:

I will never again use my mind to deprive another human being of the freedom to use their mind.

From that very moment, I have adhered to that as a "prime principle" guiding my behavior -- even in the non-sexual realm.

Today I am a parent. Today I am a gay man. My course has been frought with challenges which have bettered me as a man.

Can we understand the mind of our children? I dare suggest no more so than we can understand our own mind -- it is a lifelong adventure worth the effort.

If your son has told you that he is attracted to boys and expresses no other interest in control/power/harm/etc, then things may be fine.

If your son has told you that he is attracted to younger kids, then he needs what I needed: help -- and since he knows intuitively that everyone wants something, he is begging for it because he knows he cannot give that to himself.

If you are not sure, help cannot hurt!

To clarify that last statement, help will hurt. My mother and I share the same birthday. When they took me to the group home it was for an "evaluation". When they kept me they did not care that my mother and I had always spent our birthdays together. And today, as a constructive member of society I would choose to pay that price again and many times over because I have convinced my mind of why treating everyone with the dignity of freedom of their own choice is the only course of action.

Just be appropriately balanced in your choice. Making a universe out of a grain of sand will cause more problems than it solves. If he's gay, who cares? If he's willing to do harm to others and begging for help, then, well, everyone cares!

I wish you all the very best in a wonderful, respectufl future.