wails. How can I get him to respond?

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Oct 25, 2014 at 17:50	comment	added	Joe		@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun Absolutely. But something we've learned, with great difficulty, is sometimes there aren't any good natural consequences, and we have to be okay with that - and either have less-natural consequences or some other solution (like just waiting).
Oct 25, 2014 at 0:30	comment	added	Torben Gundtofte-Bruun		@Joe, what other natural consequences are there? E.g. he'll be sent home again because he's not allowed in undressed. And he'll want to be in there? It can be hard to find or realize the natural consequences that would reinforce your goal.
Oct 24, 2014 at 17:54	comment	added	Joe		@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun Agree, except in my kid's case he doesn't care in the slightest; he's just not that much of a social character. Props to him for ignoring social disapproval, but in my case specifically it turns out not to work.
Oct 24, 2014 at 17:50	comment	added	sbi		@Torben: I also try to mostly work with natural consequences. They are great, because they take away the blame from you for educating your child, and help a child to learn that disregarding the council of elders might have dire consequences.
Oct 24, 2014 at 17:48	comment	added	sbi		@Ida: Yes, IME going away and disregarding a child is a pretty good way to deal with unwanted behavior! Small children totally depend on the attention of adults and therefore instinctively do not want to be left alone, to be without attention. If you are consequently disregarding a child that behaves in a way you disapprove, there's not even a need to scold: because the way for the child to get what it needs (attention, praise, security, comfort) is to behave the way it's expected to, and not behave "badly".
Oct 24, 2014 at 9:53	comment	added	Torben Gundtofte-Bruun		Going to kindergarten in pajamas has happened more than once in my family, too. By the time the kid shows up in the group in pajamas he definitely wants to get dressed, and it's a perfectly safe and simple way of teaching him natural consequences of his decisions.
Oct 23, 2014 at 21:07	history	edited	Joe	CC BY-SA 3.0	Added some suggestions from comments from @Ida.
Oct 23, 2014 at 21:06	comment	added	Joe		The naked/pajamas unfortunately would be utterly ineffective for us as he'd happily say yes - although my wife has taken him to the carseat, strapped him in, and then changed his clothes (which is impressive when you see it!).
Oct 23, 2014 at 20:58	comment	added	Joe		Go Away is definitely a good suggestion - I meant to imply that but didn't clearly do so.
Oct 23, 2014 at 20:56	comment	added	Ida		another comment: another consequence that works really well for us is: If you don't get dressed, you will go to school with no pants/naked/in pajamas. You HAVE to be willing to follow through. So far the threat alone has gotten our son moving, though!
Oct 23, 2014 at 20:54	comment	added	Ida		Very nice answer. I would add: Go Away. When you set time limits and set a consequence (like I will pick your clothes and dress you), tell him and leave him alone. For our 3.5 year old, it helps him a lot to be alone - when we are around he talks with us, shows us things, and acts up. I tell him: You get dressed and come down and have breakfast, and walk away. If I stay, he never gets dressed! (I also ask him if he needs help before I go).
Oct 23, 2014 at 19:56	history	answered	Joe	CC BY-SA 3.0