Karl Bielefeldt
  • Member for 10 years, 9 months
  • Last seen this week
Should you let a toddler win?
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111 votes

What makes a children's game a children's game is the element of chance generally greatly outweighing the element of strategy. In other words, it doesn't take much for a child to win legitimately. I ...

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My 4-year-old refers to himself as me
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107 votes

Kids that age learn a lot by imaginative play. It's how they make sense of the world and experiment with different responses to events. Pretending to be an adult is very common. Playing along is a ...

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How can I convince my parents to accept my approach on school?
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75 votes

If you want them to accept your approach, you're going to have to show them you've truly mitigated that risk. The only way I can see to do that is landing some good-paying ($25/hour+) programming ...

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How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?
56 votes

We homeschool our kids, so perhaps I can provide a unique perspective. A lot of the other answers seem to be primarily worried about friends. People sparked friendships for millenia before ...

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How worried should I be about head bumps as my infant learns to get around?
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42 votes

Toddlers happen to be "designed" with the right height and mass that they very rarely injure themselves when falling from their own height. Mostly what you need to worry about is them falling from ...

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Explaining mental illness to children
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41 votes

Our 10 year-old has obvious mental and physical symptoms of her cerebral palsy, so we've had this conversation many times. We've found that adults are the ones who have problems coming up with ...

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Is putting a 9-year-old to bed early abusive?
41 votes

I was a foster parent for a year. I met parents who were unequivocally abusive. One thing I took from that experience is that the term "abusive" is applied way too frequently to normal parents who ...

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I suspect my teenager is using illegal drugs; what should I do?
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37 votes

You don't have nearly enough evidence to accuse him. You're also beyond the point where you can forbid him from doing something. You need to persuade him, and performing a search won't help with ...

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Should Disney princess movies be avoided?
36 votes

In my experience, people see what they want to see in movies. For example, there was a brouhaha about Frozen promoting a gay agenda. If you actually examine the plots, the messages of princess ...

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What's the most efficient way to dress a toddler?
35 votes

The words "efficient" and "toddler" don't really go together. Mostly, you just have to accept that things like getting dressed will take a lot longer while they are learning, and plan time in your ...

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Why does my 16-year-old hate me?
33 votes

There's not a lot to go on here, so let me just throw out a few possibilities. Children sometimes get into a state where it gives them comfort to know that you will love them no matter what. They ...

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The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?
33 votes

You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books. Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours. A lot of what makes the book impactful ...

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Son (22) has to keep initiating contact between son and parents after moving out
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31 votes

Both my parents and my in-laws had similar issues when I first got married, so I think it's not that uncommon. I would try not to read anything bad into it. It's just a period of adjustment. First ...

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How to encourage a child to self-edit and take criticism positively?
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28 votes

If she's asking you which bits need work and why, that's a sign she's open to criticism, and that she trusts you to provide it. The thing about criticizing creative work is you want to be as specific ...

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What are the advantages and disadvantages of letting the child experience the effects of his decisions?
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27 votes

Most parents try to do it that way when they can. The main thing you're missing is that children live in the moment, to a much larger degree than most adults realize until they have kids of their own....

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How to persuade my father to stop physically abusing my mother?
27 votes

There are no easy answers. You need to seek professional help and encourage your mother to do the same. A domestic violence helpline is a good place to start. Be patient and supportive, and help ...

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5 year old cries every time she is told "no"
25 votes

First of all, to kids that age it's all "big stuff." It makes them sad to not get their way, and crying is how they express their sadness. If I suddenly discovered a way to make my children not want ...

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How can an older brother fill the parenting void of an absent father?
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25 votes

Anger is part of the grieving process, and everyone works through it in their own way and at their own pace. Specifically, the "suck it up" approach might work for you, but girls usually need someone ...

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Am I interrupting my husband's parenting?
24 votes

In addition to the other excellent answers about your son playing you off each other, I wanted to add one thing. If you're like a lot of families, one parent spends a lot more time taking care of the ...

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How do you teach a toddler not to share?
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23 votes

It seems you're having difficulty expressing the idea of "not sharing" in positive terms. If you call it "taking turns" it's a lot easier to encourage in a positive way. "It's his turn to play with ...

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Why do some parents have a favorite (or least favorite) child? How can this be avoided?
22 votes

First of all, recognize there is a difference between having a favorite, and engaging in favoritism. I think having a favorite is somewhat unavoidable, unless your children all happen to have ...

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How to help my 5-year-old when other children don't want to play with him?
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21 votes

My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis. These are some things we found to help: First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of ...

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How can a Single Father prevent his child from becoming addicted to video games?
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21 votes

It's just like anything else. You set limits and you enforce them. Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits. Some ...

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Is it appropriate for parents to cry in front of their children?
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20 votes

There's a lot of research about fighting in front of your children, but I couldn't find anything particular to crying. I think in general expressing emotions is a good thing. I've even found it ...

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My wife wants a 4th baby, but I don't
19 votes

It's normal for spouses to have disagreements, even on the big things. It doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble. It means you have a problem to work through together. Hopefully you ...

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Should a parent tell their child that father christmas is not real?
19 votes

There isn't a consensus. However, I wouldn't exactly say children come to the realization fully by themselves. Someone has to confirm their suspicions, and it's probably better to be the parents. I ...

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Teen: How to tell my parents that I have friends
18 votes

I think you're most likely afraid of nothing. Your parents send you to camps in hopes of you making friends, and they monitor your internet usage not to prevent you from making legitimate friends, ...

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How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?
18 votes

The balance of power is very one-sided in a parent/child relationship. Children have very little power unless allowed by the parents. Probably you are giving her too much power because you want the ...

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Daughter is reluctant to participate in proposed family meeting. What kinds of objections do you anticipate she has?
18 votes

If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting. Aside from that, it's probably ...

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Have studies shown whether toys that feature guns or other weapons prominently promote violent behavior?
18 votes

To quote from The Future of Play Theory: A Multidisciplinary Inquiry into the Contributions of Brian Sutton-Smith: Findings from studies of war toys are diverse, if sparse. War toys have been ...

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