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76

Disclaimer: I'm not a parent so I can't speak from personal experience. Also, there seem to be several issues, but the main one is how to talk to her about her weight, so I will cover only that with some, hopefully, helpful suggestions. 1) Don't focus on her weight As you described pretty vividly, it just doesn't work. But she is also not obese - so I ...


59

Your daughter is 16 years old. While you're right that she's "under [y]our roof and so [y]our rules", that's not going to last forever; presumably she'll be moving out to go to college (or something else) soon. At this point, your role as a parent is less about setting rules and more about helping her learn things. That's not to say rules don't need to ...


22

Lose weight yourself. I don't mean that flippantly, there are studies showing that when people around you lose weight, especially close family members, then you are more likely to lose weight without specifically trying. It is called the ripple effect. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.22098 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/...


21

Just for reference: the BMI is 28.3 (72.5 kg, divided by 1.6 m squared), which you may want to edit into your question. This is close to the 95th percentile for 16 year old girls, which was about 29 in 2000 (and is likely higher nowadays). She is definitely overweight; obesity is defined to start at the 95th percentile for children and young adults....


21

Since many of the answers on here are stuff like "be open and understanding", I'll offer a... gruffer... perspective. At 16, and especially if she has an attitude like the one you describe, there's nothing you can do, really. There are many cases where people just have to learn things the hard way, and that's especially true with most children and teenagers. ...


11

I will speak from personal experience growing up with a mother who was completely convinced that I was overweight. Lead by example, not fear My mother, who always insisted on calling out my weight throughout my life, was overweight too. She nagged me endlessly about my weight, but never could get her weight under control. This just seems like the pot ...


10

Thoughts based on experience: You have taken him to the doctor and been told they found nothing wrong, but if this persists, do not be afraid to take him back to the doctor, especially with your concerns of additional weight loss. If you do not have faith that your doctor is correct for whatever reason, you perhaps can see another doctor for a second ...


9

We started to limit what we cook and what we put on the table in order to limit the amount of food she eats. This is a really really bad idea. If you limit snacks, that's one thing, but if you make a healthy dinner and she is so hungry she wants more, you can't deprive her of that! She's a teen, she is supposed to be eating more than an adult her size ...


9

Offer your child a variety of food, mostly healthy. Do not limit the amount of healthy food. Restrictive feeding of children by parents is associated with eating in the absence of hunger (inability to self-regulate), a known risk factor for obesity (Johnson & Birch, 1994, Birch et al., 2003). Keep track of where your child is on the growth curve in terms ...


8

I'm going to speak up here with my experience as a child in this situation. This is your daughter's last chance, in all likelihood, to avoid a lifetime of obesity. I deeply regret that my parents didn't help me do something about my obesity when I was a teenager.. Weight you lose as an adult will almost certainly come back. (Those statistics about how 5% ...


8

Stop bugging her about this and just try to enjoy time as a family. My dad ruined my self confidence and body image when I was a teenager and just slightly overweight. This led to stubbornness on my part, a very destructive home atmosphere with me wanting to avoid my dad, and long term did nothing but damage. Set a good example yourself, lose weight and get ...


6

she plays field hockey and softball). She does not drive. Encourage athletic activities and lifestyle If she has interest, sign her up for off-season practice or teams! If she doesn't, find another way. Fortunately for me, one of my 16-year-old twins has found a sport she enjoys. This summer she asked if she could be part of a summer team. She is working ...


6

Until last year I was in a similar situation as your daughter. My mom always encouraged me to eat healthy and did her best to be a good example and help me do it. But honestly the real change only happened when I decided I wanted to eat healthier and lose weight. My mom really helped me make sure I didden't get any more overweight although I also bought a ...


5

I'm young and formerly underweight. I used to eat mostly carbs and sugar. I started going to the gym because a friend dragged me there. At first it was awkward because I felt incompetent, but now I look forward to it! I even started going with other friends, my wife, parents, siblings, etc. As many other said, don't talk to your daughter about weight but ...


4

Kids gain three times their birth weight and grow twice their birth length in their first year. If the pediatrician isn't concerned, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it either. Infants are VERY good at self-regulating caloric intake to coincide with growth requirements (once you hit that first big growth spurt, you KNOW 'cause the kid WILL NOT want to sleep ...


4

Disclaimer: I Am Not A Doctor Recommendations regarding "see another doctor" are spot-on. Given the weight loss I suggest having him evaluated by an allergy specialist, particularly looking for an allergy to gluten. Our daughter (now 12) was having a great deal of difficulty with digestive issues and stopped growing at age 3. Once we found she was allergic ...


4

If you need a second opinion, please get one from another doctor (preferably as soon as possible so that your baby can get the necessary nutrition without delay.) However, since you asked: Yes, you should supplement his feeding with bottles. There's no shame whatsoever in doing this for any reason, let alone to help your baby grow. To continue exclusively ...


4

The best bet I have found (I had to do home weights on one of my children) is to use a hanging weight as they are very accurate, and use a baby ring sling to suspend it. You have to account for the weight of the ring sling. They do sell specific slings to do that & they are not expensive, but I used the ring sling because I already owned it for ...


4

You need to be inclusive - for as long as she is the overweight one she will feel victimised and her exposure to the dark side of feminism will give her a plethora of excuses and rationalisations to ignore you. This is where your own weight problem is an advantage. You can be inclusive and empathise. It's not "You" have a weight problem; it's "we" have a ...


4

Ask her. It sounds like she has a good understanding of the problem and the general solution, so don't try to push anything on her. If you tell her, "I love you very much, and I know you're concerned with your weight. What can I do to help?" then maybe you can become part of the solution, instead of another one of her problems. If she has suggestions ("...


3

Put her in a new environment. Throughout my life, my father (RIP) used to take me out of my comfort zone if he saw something that was happening to me that he did not like. Of course, at the time, I never really noticed him doing so and it took me a while to understand what he had done in order to protect me from certain things and (sadly) from myself. ...


3

This is from a recent experience, not a pediatrician advice. I have a 8.5 month old daughter, underweight. She had a slight cold at the time but she's usually pretty though (my wife caught a minor pneumonia while our daughter coughed twice...). We did a 6 hours trip one week ago. Both for our kid and us, we took a stop every 2 hours (it's a common ...


2

My daughter didn't have allergies, but she did have quite bad reflux, and also had oral motor issues that made eating difficult (we feed her now through a g-tube). She also required anti-seizure medicine orally, so keeping her food down was even more important than just weight gain. The tendency when a child is underweight is to overfeed, but this can ...


2

Dr David Ludwig and Dr Walter Willet published a 2013 opinion column in JAMA Pediatrics that questioned the value of recommending low-fat or skim milk for children. While much of the article is behind a paywall, I did find a discussion of the opinion column (and it was also discussed on Time). Ludwig and Willett argued in their paper that children who ...


2

Based on what you've said here, you have a couple different issues here. Some are directly related to weight and health, others only tangentially. You need to be careful in how you deal with each category. But no matter what, don't single her out. And try to frame things in terms of trying to achieve better health, not being fat and losing weight. ...


2

Something not talked about in the other great answers is that in college it can be difficult to plan and eat healthy meals and healthy portioned meals. If she is open to the discussions, talk to her about things like what healthy partitions look like and a healthy balanced meal. When I was in college, the campus meal plan program gave us so many "swipes" ...


2

Well, the first thing you need to do is to take your daughter to a doctor and explain the problem. There are many reasons behind this scenario another thing you can do is to try to feed milk with a spoon if the doctor allows you.


2

Speaking for averages, According to the CDC growth charts, a 50th percentile 9 year old will weigh about 63 pounds (28.5 kilograms). A 50th percentile 9.5 year old will weigh about 66 pounds (around 30 kilograms). So the average growth for a 50th percentile 9 year old is about 3 pounds in that timeframe (6 months). Over a similar timeframe, a 50th ...


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