Hot answers tagged

10

I don't have twins myself, but a few friends of mine do. I live in Germany and I'm French, just to give you a cultural context. My observation and my experience talking to parents of twins is that there is no "good recipe" when it come to keeping twins together or separating them. There are many different dynamics in twin brothers and sisters. What I have ...


9

You have a rebellious 14 year old living in your house, and she is testing her limits everywhere. Several things come into my mind as I write this. Why is she living with you? Where is her mother? Is she living with you against her will? How is her relationship with her father? Why were her parents divorced? Where does she get money to buy a new phone when ...


9

Hitting and biting are natural things for toddlers to do. Part of your job is to teach them how to do something different. It's hard, and I'm sure it's harder still when there are two of them in that stage together. Some of what you can do: every time, every single time, you see any hitting or other physical interaction, you gently separate them - just out ...


8

My daughter has developmental delays (well, more like outright stopping now) due to her cerebral palsy. Pediatricians tend to be much more relaxed than parents on the issue of developmental delays. They field several questions from overly worried mothers every day, that almost always turn out to be nothing. The kind of delays you're talking about are ...


8

In my opinion, by twelve it should be up to the children to work this out, and the parents should not involve themselves directly - they should help their children navigate these things if they need advice maybe, but not forcing their opinions. At six I would say it was probably inappropriate to not invite both, but not at twelve. That said, you don’t ...


7

This is a perfect chance to teach them about variation. It's important to understand that your test scores will vary based on how you're feeling on that particular day; a 93 is only about 4% lower than a 97 and it's unlikely the test is really that sensitive. There may even be the possibility of retesting if the lower-scoring twin doesn't think they did ...


7

TL;DR: No different from single children. There ought to be ample opportunity to address twins individually. They don't (always) do their misdeeds in sync - sometimes only one of them does it, or at least one does it first and the other one follows. Also when you're feeding them, or changing them, or doing any number of similar things - you will inevitably ...


6

Not a parent of an identical twin here- but one myself. My brother and I are so identical that even our parents and five (yes, five) older brothers can't tell us apart quite frequently. Of course, we purposely wear similar clothing and are very similar in personality, as well. When we were born, our parents were prepared for twins and actually just grabbed ...


6

First off, she probably is teething to some degree. Kids generally have at least mild teething from 9 months or so to 15 months, at a minimum. Not to say they're in pain, but chewing/gumming feels good to them, just like it does sometimes to adults who have mild tooth issues. Unless she's breaking the skin, I would let her do this. If it's not breaking ...


6

Unasked-for advice is tricky. No one can see what you see and know the parents like you do. If you really believe the twins are delayed developmentally, I personally feel it's not only ok but ethically responsible to approach the parents, but not with just your dis-ease about the situation. I would suggest that you start by doing some solid research. Find ...


5

You didn't answer our questions, so I'll give a rather general answer: For very young or premature babies, nursing can be quite exhausting. This may mean that they will actively "drink" for a short while, then take a small break ( nipple in mouth, sucking or not), then start over. Sometimes, they will even fall asleep during the meal. For breastfed babies, ...


5

That really depends on your babies and where you feel they would best thrive. I would pick a place based on which one exposes your babies to other children and has the higher caregiver to child ratio. That way, your babies will get the benefits of being exposed to other babies/children (important not only for psychosocial reasons but also medically for ...


5

It is possible for shaking a young child (up to five years old) to cause trauma. You should take Rose to a medical professional immediately. I sincerely hope that Rose is fine and my heart goes out to you. I know that you've been trying hard with your step-daughter and I am saddened to hear that her behavior has gotten worse. Assaulting her sibling is ...


4

Good question, and I see where you would be concerned. First, I don't think the breast milk had anything to do with it, because formula fed babies are usually fatter, and you've got the opposite going here. Instead, it seems to be more about the exercise Sneha gets that Rose doesn't. If they eat the same amount of food, but Sneha burns it all off while ...


4

Maybe they are frustrated at how little liquid they get on the spoon. In my experience, children usually go from the bottle to a cup with a sip lid, or to a straw. In both cases you get liquid far quicker than a spoon would be.


3

It seems that there is weak heritability for identical twins, and stronger heritability for fraternal (non identical) twins. http://humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/5/2/179.full.pdf+html This paper found weak heritability in identical twins. Wikipedia tells us that rates of fraternal twins varies across locations, but that the rates of identical twins ...


3

Your plan to have the infants flanking the 3YO sounds good to me. My son is 11 mo. in a snugride carrier, and my daughter is 6 and forward-facing in a Britax Marathon. His seat is behind the passenger, her seat is behind mine. We have a Volvo XC60 btw. She gets into our car from the passenger side when I pick her up from school, and she can easily get ...


3

http://www.ehow.co.uk/list_7453930_double-strollers-separate.html contains a list including: iCandy Apple / Pear Phil & Ted's Sport Buggy with Doubles Kit Uppa Baby Vista Stroller Baby Jogger City Select Stroller You can also buy connectors to attach two single strollers: http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-6550-Stroller-Connectors/dp/B000056J23 ...


3

All parents are sleep deprived; parents of twins even more so. If you can get help for a couple of hours every day during which you can take a long nap, it will help to reduce your sleep deficit. Some hospitals have information on coping with twins and volunteers who will help the parents of multiple gestations. Perhaps you can ask at the hospital where ...


3

In addition to anongoodnurse's (great!) answer, I would like to add some advice that may help IF it works within your family and culture, and attempt an outside analysis, because I hope that will help a bit in any talk with your daughter. First: I did read through your other questions as well, but I am unsure if she has her own room where she can close her ...


3

A lot of people try to ferberize their children and some studies have shown it has benefits. For the most part though when babies cry it's because there is a physiological need for them to cry, hunger, diaper or they need to bond with their mother. Leaving babies to cry when they are calling for their mother can form distrust toward the mother and cause ...


3

It is in our nature to be jealous. I noticed similar problems with my kiddos. However, I then noticed how I "congratulated" them and such, and realized I was creating the jealousy. I've since switched to a "right on, the more you practice the better you both will get" kind of accolade for almost all situations. Even when it is just 1 kid doing something ...


3

Full disclosure: I still cosleep with both our children and have made no effort to change that, so I have no personal experience in this endeavour. I see you've tried both requesting him to simply comply against his inclination, and asked that he analyze and put words on his own distress. Note that these are both big asks of a three year old. I see you've ...


2

When I analysed my situation, I understood it is just the stress and no sleep which made me come to this decision of putting babies in.a room and leaving them. I realised how cruel it is. Babies need me and I shouldn't disappoint them . I love them a lot and hope the situation turns better.


2

Babies are often gassy. My 11 month old LO sometimes farts like an adult. I'm certain that at 11 months your girls eat many different things. Each and every one of those could make them gassy. Try to skip the formula for a few days, just feed them normally and give them water or watered juice. They will, most likely, still be gassy. Asking about ...


2

Jealousy is natural tendency we find among infants and babies. You simply cannot help it and it goes with the time. Have you ever seen two grown up twins fighting over a morsel to eat first? Don't worry, this will go as they grow. As of now, if alternating spoon-feeding has not worked, for a period being, you can treat/feed them separately. You take one of ...


2

My twins are always figuring out new ways to mess with each other. They're 29 months. Bedtime has always been hard. Whenever you change your strategy you should give it a week, 4 days minimum to see if there's any difference. You could brute force it over and over, keep telling them it's not time for games, it's time for sleep, and lead them by the hand ...


2

So, answering myself in case someone else bumps into this. We found that it was more nipple-tongue placement. As new parents, we weren't super conscious of their tongues yet. Their tongue was blocking the hole in the nipple. As we placed the bottle in and out of their mouth, occasionally we'd get tongue blockage, occasionally free flow. Now we're aware of ...


2

Joe's answer says pretty much it all, but still I'd like to add a note you may find useful: From the starting point that these conflicts should be let to the children to solve (not just because they are probably already capable of, but because they also need to learn how to do it), I'd say that it's better to screw up at 12 than at 30! Let your daughter be ...


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