43 votes
Accepted

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

I agree that this couple could probably benefit from some couples counseling. Mom is putting an unfair burden on dad and it may take some support from an outside party to help both parents understand ...
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  • 1,496
36 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

You and your wife have a fundamental disagreement here. Not necessarily about parenting. If you have expressed that this makes you unhappy and your wife is on board with the necessity of disciplining ...
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  • 1,305
20 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

It sounds like, to me, that you do not both agree on discipline. Your wife may well say she does, but I'd guess she doesn't, and simply doesn't want to argue with you about it (perhaps, argue again). ...
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  • 58.3k
9 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

Many people mistake discipline for only punishment: If you cannot simply reason it out with your wife, perhaps suggest a parenting class or family counselling. She sounds like she understands that ...
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  • 17.4k
7 votes

Toddler, almost 2 years timeout not working

Lock me in a room and I'm going to explode, too. Especially if it's a punishment. Time outs work very well as actual breaks - not directly punishments. IE: Okay, Johnny, you're hitting me and ...
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  • 58.3k
5 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

I have been in this exact situation, and several of the answers here are very good. For context, I am the father of two, my oldest is in high school and my youngest is in elementary school. My wife ...
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  • 181
5 votes

Screaming, crying, tantrums, pushing... how to give effective timeout?

If you really want him to stop doing these things, consider giving him more attention. (sorry, nobody said being a parent is easy) Especially at that age they'll do anything that gets them attention. ...
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  • 1,883
5 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

As someone who grew up in a house that had similar upbringing... I can tell you that... from my own personal experience, what you are afraid of can happen. My parents played the good cop/bad cop. My ...
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5 votes

My baby screams all day long, non-stop, as loud as he can, and he finds it extremely funny

Children crave control. I had a friend whose son had a similar behavior, only instead of screaming he'd yell "Boo!" or "Hey!" He liked the way it made people jump, and it drove her crazy. She ...
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3 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

Personally I find it hard to give out punishment for something I did not witness. In my case, if I came home and my wife had some punishment waiting that I had to give out... I wouldn't. She was ...
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3 votes
Accepted

My baby screams all day long, non-stop, as loud as he can, and he finds it extremely funny

19 months is too early to get into complicated strategies, and time-out is just a waste of time as you've discovered, keep it simple. Get a health check with a doctor to talk about it Be mindfully ...
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  • 197
2 votes

Toddler, almost 2 years timeout not working

I have that with my two year old daughter. This is a very hard age to discipline. At this age they do understand positive reinforcement. Try giving a treat, aka jelly bean, chocolate chip, if he stop ...
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  • 21
2 votes

My baby screams all day long, non-stop, as loud as he can, and he finds it extremely funny

Okay, I know this isn't a fun situation at all for you. First, before anything else, have you been to the doctor? I think that you should make sure that there are no developmental issues. If this has ...
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2 votes

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

Existing answers cover your relationship with your wife very thoroughly, let me add a little about your relationship with your son. Erich Fromm has some thoughts on two types of love that children ...
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2 votes

How to break defiant cycle with time out?

Have you tried a time out bottle? We have used them with great success. Sometimes a child just needs a distraction to break the spiral they are in. We take a clear 18 oz bottle (like a soda bottle) ...
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  • 402
2 votes
Accepted

Should I use timeouts with my goddaughter if her mother doesn't?

In my experience, so long as you're acting within the boundaries of what the other parent considers acceptable, you should be self-consistent with discipline, but not be too concerned with being ...
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  • 58.3k
1 vote

Advise on 123 Magic for hyper or anxious kids

...as I’m counting he takes over the control and opts to put himself in time out... There's nothing wrong in that that I can see. If the child feels better having a bit of control over this, fine! As ...
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  • 66.9k
1 vote

Advise on 123 Magic for hyper or anxious kids

because he has anxiety and is scared of being alone in his room or basically being anywhere by himself, he negotiates that either his dad or I sit at the steps close to his bedroom while he’s in time ...
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  • 3,632
1 vote

4yr old hitting in daycare

First: this is entirely normal, and not something to be concerned about whatsoever. Children have to learn social behavior, and one of those behaviors is to work out their problems without hitting. ...
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  • 58.3k
1 vote

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

One possible (not great, but possible) approach is to explicitly refuse to administer punishment for offenses that affect your spouse more than yourself. Let's say, your spouse hates disorder, while ...
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  • 5,972
1 vote

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

There are a number of issues here which you should be aware of, and which may help you better work with your wife when raising your child: First, children understand from a very early age that each ...
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  • 6,533
1 vote

How should I conduct a proper timeout?

When it comes to time outs, I have a story and tool, that I have practiced with my daughter. She is 12 years old, very stuborn, get very angry and anxious, if things do not go her way, which usually ...
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1 vote

How to punish "unpunishable" 3y old

It sounds like three minutes isn't long enough. Up it to five, and make certain it's dreadfully dull. When it's over, don't hold a grudge. However, if you're anything but consistent, it won't work. ...
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  • 3,185

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